Dr Dre
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“He reversed the polarity of the phat beats, biatch.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Dr Dre
“Dre, because you are sorry, I give you in my will: DEEZ NUTZ! BEYOND THE GRAVE NIGGA!”
~ Eazy-E on Dr Dre
“Here, use these pills, son. Take two every hour with a glass of water. And don't you motherfuckin' dare to forget 'bout me again, bitch!”
~ Dr Dre on kids with amnesia
[edit] Dr. André Romell Young
Dr. André Romell Young, M.D, Ph.D. is a world-renowned teen psychiatrist and family physician, son of Dr. Hibbert and Condoleeza Rice, most notorious for his invention of the anti-amnesia pills known as forgotaboutdreium. He was formerly known as the actor best known for his portrayal of the sixth incarnation of Doctor Who on the popular television series The Doctor. He has degrees in cardiology, oncology, and is rumored to have used the African-American (formerly black) art of negromancy to learn from Paracelsus himself. He is considered to be one of the greatest trumpet players in the history of Jazz Metal. He is known for calling himself or proclaiming himself as the MUTHA FUCKING D-R-E! "I'm Doctor Dre MUTHA FUCKA!"
He was born in 1969 as the son of the Duke of York. He spent a happy childhood living in luxury and attended the best private schools in York. He studied used coloring books at Compton University, where he formed the influential union Nurses With Anxiety, and soon discovered that he had a real talent for brain surgery. In 1999, after a lengthy break to attempt to found a musical career in jazz, he graduated summa cum laude after performing a 24-hour operation during which he removed a brain tumor using nothing but a pair of tweezers and a roll of duct tape (also see MacGyver). John Nathan-Turner, the patient for this operation, was so inspired by Dre's skills that he immediately hired him to replace Doogie Howser in the role of Doctor Who.
Dre's tenure as Doctor Who was marked by a sudden increase in the violence within the stories, leading to complaints from Mary Whitehouse and Tipper Gore. Following these complaints, BBC One Controller Michael Grade postponed the series for nine years. The show returned with a 2001 storyline entitled Chronic 2001.
The Dre incarnation of Doctor Who is instantly recognizable for his dour and monochromatic wardrobe, frequently wearing all black. Unlike most incarnations of Doctor Who, Dre preferred the company of male companions. His one female companion, Perpegulium Brown (Portrayed by Dee Barnes) left the show after Dre threw her down a flight of stairs in a fit of post-regeneration trauma. Subsequent companions included Eazy-E, Snoop Dogg, and, in the post-hiatus era of Dre's Doctor, Eminem.
Dr. Dre's partnership with Snoop Dogg was forged while working as an aeronautical engineer for the McDonnell Douglas Aircraft Co. in Long Beach, California. During lunch breaks, Dre and Snoop Dogg, who worked as an aircraft assembler on the MD11 assembly line, would burst into freestyle rap competitions amongst their co-workers in the aircraft factory's cafeteria.
People who forget about Dre are periodically shot by Dre's Henchmen, who remained with Dre after his musical career ended.
[edit] Dre's musical past
Little known to those involved with his life as a physician, Dre was formerly a musician specializing in slow "Jazz Metal" music. Dre's taste in jazz music was rather controversial, leading to feuds with other artists. Over time fans of Dre's music began to form into a large and unruly jazz gang, who often took part in lengthy enraged jazz battles with one another, and "jazz offs". These began to get out of hand, and a hefty rivalry grew between Dre and Dean Barnes after one of Dre's gangsters played a slap bass solo outside Barnes house at 8am.
Shortly after the Dean Barnes incident, Dre quit music and followed his lifelong dream of becoming a physician.
[edit] The Dean Barnes Incident
In the 1996 council elections Dre accepted an invitation to a live debate with his opponent, Elitaire Dean Barnes. However when he arrived early Dre was taken into a white transit van after hearing someone yell 'Let's get 'em!'. When the debate was aired, a visibly aggrieved Dre said that Barnes was 'nothing but a she-thing baby' and held up an old picture of Barnes wearing make up and stilettos that he had found on one of his early musical works Barnes Been Beyond Before But Believe Barnes, Barnes Being Bolmontious Bout Being There. Barnes responded by saying that the G in Dre's middle name stood for 'Gayness'. At this point Dre lost his temper and drowned Barnes. Vanilla rapper White Ice later spoke of this incident in his song 'That Dude Is Guilty!'
