Drano Max
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Although most people believe this to be a product that unclogs drains, it is actually the long lost cure for AIDS. It also makes a good nasal decongestant, stool softener, and painkiller.
WARNING: SWALLOWING OF THIS PRODUCT COULD RESULT IN SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE, HEART FAILURE, ALL TYPES OF CANCERS(EXCEPT FOR TESTICULAR), AND OCCASIONAL INTERNAL BLEEDING.
[edit] Cure History
As for the cure for AIDS. Shorty after Drano Max was invented, the Oxford Animal Lab invented the AIDS virus. After his doctor told him there was no cure Ronald McDonald refused to believe him. So rumor has it that he went around the world to find a cure. 2 years after the beginning of his expedition, he had tried everything known to man(and most monkeys). Until one day at his local Walmart, he saw Drano Max. He thoght "Hmm...looks yummy.". So he bought some and drank it. About 2 hours later he went to his doctor for bad stomach pains, vomiting, loss of sight in left eye, and numbness. The doctor could not find the cause from external examination, so he took a blood sample. Soon thereafter, his doctor ran into the room and exclaimed that his AIDS had vanished!
