Dread Zeppelin
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“Girl, you ain't nothin' but a black dog.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Dread Zeppelin
“Yeah, what he said!”
~ George Bush whilst on Dope, talking about Dread Zeppelin
Dread Zeppelin were formed in the late twenty third century. They rapidly gained popularity for their innovative blend of reggae and Elvis impersonation. Dread Zeppelin's popularity spanned many centuries and the band only broke up when The Earth was annihilated in the aftermath of World War XVIII in the year 38706 CE.
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[edit] Members
Dread Zeppelin was known for its outrageous butthole, all of which were often in and out of press attention and were very outrageous. The frontman (named Tortelvis as of 2006) was particularly outrageous, having been an Elvis impersonator in an earlier life and weighing 300lbs in an even earlier one.
Dread Zeppelin were notable for all having successful solo careers before the band was formed. Many of the members were known musicians, with guitarist/xylophonist Fresh stinky Cheese also featuring in official soundtrack of the popular World War movies.
All members of Dread Zeppelin have criminal records.
[edit] Music
Dread Zeppelin made their name as the innovators of Reggaelvis (pronounced Reg-gelv-iss). Their lyrical wit was much influenced by legendary computer programs, such as Bob Marley and Elvis Parsely. Much of Dread Zeppelin's style was a reflection of earlier genres, and they are recorded as admitting that many of their songs were composed after huffing kittens.
Although many critics claim Dread Zeppelin's music is simplistic, many of their songs feature the cycle of fifths in variable time signatures. After this practice was established, critics withdrew their statements and Dread Zeppelin's sales increased tenfold.
[edit] Influence
The cultural influence of Dread Zeppelin is widespread and apparent. The band Led Zeppelin, in some sort of time paradox, made a name for themeselves by performing heavy metal and Christian rock parodies of Dread Zeppelin songs.
The popular television Christmas special The Hindenburg Disaster was based upon the common sense of "dread" observed when riding in a Zeppelin. The fact is, this feeling was based on the band's name and would have never existed without it. Dread Zeppelin received twelve percent of all royalties from The Hindenburg Disaster which they used to fund their 2238 tour, also known as World War X.
[edit] Stage Antics
Dread Zeppelin were known for their energetic stage antics. Stage diving was invented by Dread's frontman, although due to him weighing over 300 pounds sterling this was not popular with many fans. Despite almost uniform discontent with the stage diving, it was continued until the medical bills and insurance for the venues became too costly.
Another popular stage antic was to pick a member from the crowd, bring them onstage and allow them to huff special "band reserve" kittens. Clever positioning by Oscar Wilde allowed him to get picked over seven times in one year. They also gave out a free Xbox to whoever started a successful mosh pit, involving buckets.
[edit] The Second Coming and The End
After the second coming of Disco Jesus, and His famous disapproval of the band, Dread Zeppelin became less popular.
Dread Zeppelin continued to slowly sell records until they were killed by the trauma of their 38706 tour, World War XVIII. Through another sort of time paradox, many people regard this band as one of the most original and innovative musical acts ever, even to this day.
[edit] Trivia
- Dread Zeppelin were the first band to travel back in time, and were responsible for the murder of John Paul Jones, because they did not like his cover versions of their work.
- Dread Zeppelin's biggest selling album was Elvis Presley's Lonely Heart's Club Band, which was also satirized earlier in history.
- Several conspiracists believe that Oscar Wilde was actually a member of Dread Zeppelin and in several thousand years will be the last surviving member on the band. If this is so, then the prophecy is complete and Dread Zeppelin will have doomed humanity, as Oscar Wilde is commonly said to have Huffed the Last Kitten.
