Drog The Misunderstood Caveman Comedian
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Drog The Misunderstood Caveman Comedian (lived 1,412,384 BCE - 1,412,360 BCE) was an unpopular (cave)man in his own time, for using what little language was available at the time to ridicule his foul-smelling, hirsute peers (which is not to imply that Drog was less foul-smelling and hirsute).
[edit] A Misunderstood Career
Drog was known in his own time as simply Drog The Misunderstood Comedian, since, in point of fact, everyone was a caveman, even the women. He originally billed himself as Drog The Comedian, or, in caveman parlance, "Drog The Funny-Man". He changed that the next year by appending the "Misunderstood" to Comedian ("No-One-Get-Me Funny-Man"). This was a result of poor reviews by his contemporaries.
A number of the poor reviews may in fact have been biased against Drog due to the offense he frequently gave his audience. A sample, extracted from cave walls and edited to make it more readable for a modern audience, follows:
"...I mean, Gargi is the best-looking cave-chick here, and only because she shaved her beard! Haha, just joking with you Gargi, you can put that brontosaurus bone down, we love you. But seriously, I just found out last week that my mother is actually my father. I said to him, 'Where's my mom, then?' and he says, 'I 'ate 'er.' and I'm like, 'I'm not even going there', you know what I mean?..."
"...I mean, is anyone here planning on showering anytime this epoch? I smell T-Rex dung in here! Whew! It must be Zorng the Blind Batty Old Caveman back there -- hey Zorng, how old are you this week? (from back) 'I'm thirty-five, no, thirty-six' Haha, that Zorng for you, always exaggerating. Anyway, I figure only Zorng could have stepped in it, seeing as he's blind and all, and that T-Rex dung is pretty freaking huge... (booing) What? He's blind, it's... heh... aren't blind people funny?..."
[edit] Too Short a Life
Drog died months too early at the ripe old age of 24. An analysis of his skull fragments indicates that they were repeatedly stepped on by a multi-ton reptilian animal sometime after his arms were tied with pterodactyl tails and his hairy body was pelted with stone arrows and stone rocks. It is doubted that his death was accidental, as very few cavemen died this way, and they were generally the least popular ones. Drog is remembered by comedian-historians today as a pioneer in the field, and his contributions will not soon be forgotten.
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[edit] Also See
Categories: Ideas | Comedians | History



