Drowning Harp Legumes
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The Drowning Harp Legumes first formed in January of 1928, off the coast of Filesharing on a freighter ship carrying vast amounts of dentistry equipment and bowling balls.
Avery "Abe" Dawson, lead bassist for the DHL, was carrying a box of dentures up one of them steep-ass boat stairwells, when a beautiful sound tickled tiny tendons in his ear. A thousand angels worth of music, harps and all, drifted in from the cabin in which the nightly lounge group was rehearsing.
What he was hearing, right then and there, was the beatific mandolin-playing exploits of one such Emily R., now the harpist and lead guitarist of DHL.
His grip loosened; he fell backwards down the stairs in a hail of dentures.
[edit] Lord Chuck
At the exact same time as this gravity-fuelled collapse was taking place, Lord Chuck was being brutually murdered by an unknown assailant three floors above. Forensic evidence could never form a tight enough grasp of the dark and devious person behind so barbric a slaying. But Shira Manitoba was no ordinary forensic pathologist. She was also a kickin' drummer.
The rhythm of the murder rumbled through her mind, drums tapping out the mystery before her. The knock at the door, the beat of the footsteps, bowling ball trail to its pins. Then, Crash!, the onset of violence, the moment of death.
Avery and Emily had already begun printing up and handing out flyers by the time the crew of the ship heard about Lord Chuck's untimely demise. Most of them hadn't even known who Lord Chuck was. I mean, do you?
Didn't think so. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
[edit] Excessive partying
For fear that excessive partying could hamper her forensic investigation, Shira decided to have a meeting with these two musicians, who had already begun calling themselves Infinite Pants: the Musical.
That first meeting turned into a heavy, full-on, all-out jam-session lasting well into the next fiscal quarter. It was wild, man. I was so wasted. And they had these ... well ...
Three days into the infamous jam-session, the trio, who had taken to referring to themselves as Phart, a tremendous banging on the door jolted their vibe, halting the groove. A trembling weak voice squeaked from beyond. It was Randy Haywire, a cellist from the heart of the jungles of upper lower under-bunnies of Mars. He asked if he could jam, too. And Phart was all, like, "Yeah," and, "That's cool."
A burst of word exploded through the lips of Emily: Drowning Harp Legumes.
The band broke up thirty years later upon Sarah's findings of DNA evidence linking Randy Haywire to the murder of Lord Chuck. A reunion/prison tour is set to begin next August.
Be there or be square!
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