Drum Sticks

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Drums are hit with drum sticks, kind of like penises. Penises, Err Rather drumsticks are long and skinny, with a head slightly larger than the shaft. Drum Sticks can also referr to the leg of a chicken, turkey, or dog. I like my dog drumsticks with a ranch seasoning, baked in the oven at 425 degrees F. for 40 min. Drum drumsticks are made commonly out of wood, I guess you could make them out of a bone or like... uhm plastic or metal of some sort... If you wanted but you could just go out and buy some. They cannot be THAT expensive..

A modern drummer, demonstrating proper use of drumsticks. This particular drummer prefers to use one each of the "ice cream" and "chicken" varieties.

These could be used for lets say.. physical pleasure... if you are into that... I dont recommend this.. splinters hurt.

[edit] History of Drumsticks

Some person, some where, made them some time out of something I guess. He probably just took a stick and started hitting things... Like a cave man...

Drums sticks are rumored to have been invented by a dude who sealed the spirits of sexy foxes in two large twigs. He then proceeded to hit some drums. They made a great sound and everyone who hit drums wanted a pair of magick sticks, especially Bill Gates. After years of research, Ol' Billy invented a time machine and traveled into the future to buy tons of wood (for in the future wood is much cheaper and Bill Gates is a greedy little bastard). He then came back and invented a robot named Vick Firth who’s main job was the carve the wood into skinny, penus-like sticks. Bill Gates made millions off the sticks and was very pleased, but Vick Firth wasn't. One night, one late and stormy night, Vick Firth snuck into Bill Gates's bedroom and repeatedly stabbed Ol' Billy in the face for about 3 to 4 hours. Then the robot took over the drum stick company and named it Zildjian, after some Turkish alchemist. The company has been mass producing over priced drum sticks for years now and they are no where near as good as the first drum sticks invented by that dude. No one knows where the mystical Fox Demon Sticks of Doom are located. Some say they are still being used, by that dude.......