Drunk driving

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Seen here, a typical drunk driver irresponsibly drives into a plane.

“Holy shit! That car came out of nowhere!!!”

~ Colin Farrell on A parked Camry

Drunk Driving was first popularised by the Irish as a substitution to wife beating. In the 1800's the practice of getting trashed and beating your wife was falling into disuse because people were dying of starvation and turning into zombies. It was during this time the Old Imperial Bastards assclown were exporting most grain from Eire to elsewhere in the filthy commonwealth of teabaggery.

Since its inception the sport has evolved and is considered one of the few major working-class sports, next to Eiffel towering and canoeing. During this time the sport has gained wide-spread support amongst middle-class white trash and famous people.

It is to be noted, however, that when Drunk Driving in Soviet Russia, DRINK drives YOU.

1 The Rules of Drunk Driving
2 Famous Quotes
3 Vortniploodge
4 Famous Drunk Drivers

[edit] The Rules of Drunk Driving

First, find a suitable bottle of Jack Daniels or other corn mash whiskey. Consume the entire bottle, preferably on an empty stomach. Next, Find the nearest school bus unloading area or highly crowded pedestian walk way. This is the race track.

The game has two major scoring vectors:

Escape from the opposing team (law enforcement). They attempt to ticket or "jail" you while playing this action packed sport.
Run over as many people as you can People of color and the either young or old do not count - except teabags, they earn double points.
High-speed crashes and resulting explosions prematurely end the game, but are fun to watch or hang-out at afterwards.

[edit] Famous Quotes

"This is soo much fun!" - Any particular Premiership footballer you care to mention. Except Wayne Rooney, of course. He usually crashes into a shop front before he can say anything. But I digress...
"Who needs F1 when there's Drunk Driving?" - Noel Edmonds
"Gnrr nerdi a freckin weezkey" - Ted Kennedy On waking up at the wheel of his car sobor.

[edit] Vortniploodge

This section is here merely to fulfill a contractual obligation. There is no content, no information, no meaning whatsoever, just Vortniploodge, and now I don't get sued.