Dude, Where Art Mine Horse and Carriage?

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

"That was one craaazy night!"

Dude, Where art mine Horse and Carriage? is one of William Shakespeare's best-known plays, written sometime between 1596 and 1598. Although it is sometimes classified as a comedy ("comedy" had a very different meaning at the time; see Two and a half men) and shares certain aspects with the other romantic comedies, it is perhaps more remembered for its dramatic scenes (particularly the tatoo scene.)The story follows the misadventures of two 16th century flemish oil painters, Antonio and Jacob who, after a wild night of strong cheese and lute playing misplace their wives' horse and carriage.

[edit] Act 1

At the play's outset, Antonio and Jacob awaken with hangovers and no memory of the previous night. Their house is filled (quite literally) with containers of broth and salted meats. They emerge from their home to find Antonio's Horse and Carriage missing, and with it their wives' one year anniversary presents as well. This prompts Antonio to ask the play's title question: "Dude, Where art mine Horse and Carriage?"

The duo begins retracing their steps in an attempt to discover just where they left the horse and carraige. Along the way, they encounter a Venitian moneylender, a paranoid Scottish noble, the Danish Royal family, Richard the 3rd, three witches, and the risen ghost of Adolf Hitler who ironically had not been born when the play was written.

[edit] Act 2

The second act is generally seen as more dramatic and less lighthearted than the first, as the day draws on Antonio becomes depressed at the lack of information they gained from their travels and lashes out on Jacob. Jacob bitterly responds and blames Antonio for losing the carriage.

Antonio:"O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!"

Jacob:"Knave! blundering fool! thou hast lost mine wagon for eternity!"

The two storm off, and decide to spend the last of their money on tatoos, as these said tatoos are out of their own line of vision, the two must question each other to find out what was inscribed on to their backs, unfortunately their lack of trust with each other becomes apparent and they begin to bicker once again.

Jacob: "Antonio thou has got a tattoo!"

Antonio: "As do you Jacob, What scribblings hath penetrated mine flesh?"

Jacob: " 'Dude!' What scribblings hath penetrated mine flesh?"

Antonio:" 'Sweet!' What scribblings hath penetrated mine flesh?"

Jacob: " 'Dude!' What scribblings hath penetrated mine flesh?"

Antonio:" 'Sweet!' What scribblings hath penetrated mine flesh?"

Jacob: " 'Dude!' What scribblings hath penetrated mine flesh?"

Antonio:" 'Sweet!' What scribblings hath penetrated mine flesh?"

Jacob: " [Angrily] 'Dude!' What scribblings hath penetrated mine flesh?"

Antonio: [shouting] "Thou speaketh an infinite deal of nothing, more than any man in all Flanders!"

[edit] Act 3

The final act is seen by many as one of the most tragic passages in the history of the english language. After their argument, Jacob challenges Antonio to a breakdancing competiton to the death, Antonio readily accepts for fear of shame, and because he thinks Jacob still suffers from the plague. They try to outdo each other in increasingly elaborate, and often erotic ways, but eventually Jacob sucumbs to the brilliance of Antonio's moves and literally implodes. Bankrupt and alone, Antonio takes his own life.

	The complete works of William Shakespeare
Tragedies:	Romeo and Juliet | Macbeth | King Lear | Hamlet | Othello | Titus Andronicus | Titus Androgynous | Julius Caesar | Antony and Cleopatra | Coriolanus | Troilus and Cressida | Timon of Athens
Comedies:	A Midsummer Night's Dream | All's Well That Ends Well | As You Like It | Cymbeline | Love's Labour's Lost | Measure for Measure | The Merchant of Venice | The Merry Wives of Windsor | Much Ado About Nothing | Pericles, Prince of Tyre | Taming of the Shrew | The Comedy of Errors | The Tempest | Twelfth Night | The Two Gentlemen of Verona | The Two Noble Kinsmen | The Winter's Tale
Histories:	King John | Richard II | Henry IV, Part 1 | Henry IV, Part 2 | Henry V | Henry VI, part 1 | Henry VI, part 2 | Henry VI, part 3 | Richard III | Henry VIII
Poems and Sonnets:	Venus and Adonis | The Rape of Lucrece | The Passionate Pilgrim | The Phoenix and the Turtle | A Lover's Complaint