Eagles

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“Fucking Eagles”

~ Oscar Wilde on Eagles

America's Pride: The Bald Eagle

“Fucking Humans”

~ Eagles on Humans

“Fucking Everyone”

~ Philadelphia Eagles on Everyone

Eagles are large birds of prey which have powerful wings, sharp talons and other structural adaptations that totally kick ass. Eagles are only found in the United States of America and parts of Antarctica.

There are 6 species of Eagle:

1) Bald Eagle

2) American Eagle

3) Philadelphia Eagle

4) B-3 Bomber

5) Bald Eagle

6) Desparado

7) Hotel California

An evil Communist bunny.

Eagles have always been an enduring symbol of Freedom, Disco Music and the Republican Party. They also have confused with superman, but upon closer inspection he is usually found to be a plane instead.

They were first created by the US Government in 1341 AD to defend America's forests from the evils of Communism. At that point of time, the Soviets were sending in hordes of brainwashed Commie Rabbits (among other small, furry animals) to invade our woodlands. The rabbits were quick, but the eagles were faster. Those Commie Bastards never knew what hit them. By 1360, the Rabbits withdrew from America forever, and the star-spangled banner flew high. Mario (A.K.A Joseph Stalin) was one pissed off Bosko.

The remaining evil bunnies were killed off by freedom-loving school-children and speedsters. During the war, a few unofficial and often overlapping alliances were formed with the Fish tribes of America. However, it was soon discovered that the Fish were vehement supporters of 'Water Conservation' and other Unamerican ideologies.

To this very day, the Eagle continues to defend our holy land in the sea, the forests and the air.

[edit] Eagles in popular Culture

For some unexplainable reason, authors and moviemakers seem to think themselves tremendously clever when using a simile/metaphor/sex toy involving Eagles. Some popular works of fiction involving Eagles: