Eavesdropping

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(in all seriousness, I don't know if this should be here, but it's a bit long for the Undictionary I think... and actually, it starts to sound like news)

1. Eavesdropping:v: the tradition of dropping another person's eaves (not to be confused with elves or Eves, the unproper pluralization of Eevee, an extremely fickle Pokemon) that is believed to have originated in Iceland in the Dark Ages. Historians postulize that eavesdropping was an early predecessor of today's TP-ing and cow-tipping.

2. Eavesdropping:v: a common term for Hearing things, one of the most notable signs of auditohystervicalphoria, or ["key-hole dementia"]. This symptom, in cases involving reports of imagined illegal or just scary activity, often closely precedes the sufferer's mysterious death. Autopsies reveal various direct physical causes of death, most commonly the cause is assumed to be the holes in the torso, or the combustion of the head. Doctors have yet to witness the event, and so it is difficult to develop treatment or methods to prevent the fatal combustions. There have been numerous breakouts of such serious cases in America throughout the past censury, most prevalently in large cities such as Chicago, Illinois. For a very brief time there was some speculation as to a possible correlation of eavesdropping cases with gang and mafia activity in the area, but those supporting this idea suffered from a strange disease that resulted in the loss of their tongues. Therefore, they were afterward dubbed incredible, as well as inedible, much to the disappointment of FECA (Flesh-Eating Cannibals of America). Those who continue to research this disorder and its symptoms firmly declare that such speculation is absolute rubbish, but due to reasons that remain ambiguous, the records of recent cases are kept under lock and key, though no progress has been made since the late 70s.