Eddie Murphy

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Rape?

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Racist?

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Black Supremacist?

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Rape?

Edwin Kryztal Stardust Murphy (also known as Eddie Murphy) was an American actor/prostitute who was known for his sexual prowess with women as long as they had a penis. Murphy became famous for starting the T.P.C.S (Transvestite Prostitute Chaffeur Service). He was born in 1962 in a farm just outside Brooklyn.

Murphy seen working at age 17.

Growing up, children used to call him "Little Miss Sunshine" due to the fact that he enjoyed dressing in drag and picking the petals off sunflowers while chanting, "He loves me, he loves me not." Giving up on fate, Eddie decided to take his lovelife into his own hands. At the age of 17, Eddie moved to Queens to find true love. Instead, he inevitably found his way to the streets becoming a male prostitute specializing in "The Triple Tickler." His luck would soon change, though, after an important client made him an offer he could not refuse.

1 Big Break and Jackson
2 Film Career
- 2.1 First Lead Roll
- 2.2 Change of Luck
3 Murphy's Death
4 Quotes
5 See Also

[edit] Big Break and Jackson

Eddie and Michael Jackson met February 16, 1982 at a Bon Zeppelin and the Blue Oyster Travelers concert. When Jackson outlandishly commented on his own horniness, Murphy overheard him and informed him that he was a professional. The two immediately hit it off. Jackson and Murphy agreed to marriage on 4 conditions:

Jackson (left) and Murphy (right) immediately after marriage.

Jackson would produce films for Murphy to star in.
Murphy would disregard any suspicious activity involving pedophilia and Jackson.
Jackson would agree to rhinoplasty.
Jackson would agree to partake in a transracial biectomy (Because Murphy had an extreme hatred for the African American community).

The two were married on October 2, 1983.

[edit] Film Career

[edit] First Lead Roll

Murphy first starred in Jackson's production of Girl Interrupted, a story of a male prostitute trying to make it in the film industry. Many critics argue that the film was strikingly similar to Murphy's own biography, written in 1982 with a crayon. Girl Interrupted was nominated for 16 Golden Raspberry Awards including:

Worst Actor
Worst Direction
Worst Screenplay
Worst Actress
Worst Scene Involving A Midget
Best Scene Involving A Midget
Most Overuse Of Homoerotic Sex Scenes
Worst Motion Picture of the Year

PLOT ROLL

First PLOT ROLL in ROLL BISCUITS COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!

[edit] Change of Luck

Eddie decided he was no longer going to adhere to the fascists in charge of writing his scripts. He was sick of the demeaning humor involved in each roll he portrayed. After attending night school at Romanowski's School For The Blind, Murphy learned how to write award-winning screenplays. His first work was named Little Miss Sunshine after his childhood nickname. Murphy also starred in the lead roll as 12-year-old Olive. The film was nominated for 187 Academy Awards. It won in all categories excluding Achievement in Special Effects, due to the fact that Murphy did all of the stunts for every character in the movie while wearing a silk leotard.

Murphy (middle) on the cover of Entertainment weekly for his award-winning role.

[edit] Murphy's Death

Shortly following the release of the Japanese version of Little Miss Sunshine, Murphy suffered a concussion while attempting the "Prancing Contortionist" position with Jackson during their weekly marital. After Jackson flipped Murphy over for the "Final Showdown," Murphy hit his head on Jackson's 100x marble replica of his own penis (Standing 1 foot tall). Jackson tried to fly Murphy to the nearest hospital on his back, but unfortunately was out of pixie dust. Jackson was forced to take him in his white Mazda Miata, but when reaching the hospital, Murphy was DOA.