Eid ul-Fitr

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

Contents

[edit] Celebrating the Birth of The Dark Lord

Eid ul-Fitr is a Muslim holiday celebrated by muslims all round the world, to celebrate the birth of The Dark Lord, Allah, an inferior cousin of Satan, only worshiped by a fanatical minority known as muslims. This day signifies the end of a fasting month for all muslims. On the day of the celebration, a muslim family would have to wake VERY early, eat in a small quantity due to financial constrains, and to signify the end of the fasting period, Ramadan. The true purpose of the celebration of this day is often covered up by muslims strongly suggesting they are merely thanking 'God'(Allah) for all his/her/its (we might never know) blessings.

[edit] The Purpose

[edit] The Purpose: Muslims

Muslims claim that this day is a day of forgiveness, moral victory, peace of congregation, fellowship, brotherhood and unity.
Moral Victory
Moral Victory
Unity
Unity
This second plane was to apologise, it is forgiveness after all. As to why it also crashed? Well, they're muslims.
This second plane was to apologise, it is forgiveness after all. As to why it also crashed? Well, they're muslims.
Event commemorated on a stamp
Event commemorated on a stamp

Muslims celebrate not only the end of all that fasting but also thank God for the help and strength that they believe he gave them through the previous month to help everyone practice self-control.

Unable to find anymore excuses to hide the truth, they leave us no choice but to just... move on...

[edit] The Purpose: The Truth

Despite all efforts of muslims to desperately hide the truth of this day, the evidence are not sufficient. In fact *cough*, this day is really to celebrate the birth and existence of their Dark Lord. At the start of the day, after a short meal, muslims proceed to a Eid prayer, as shown as below.

   Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar 	الله أكبر الله أكبر الله أكبر
   la ilaha illa Allah 	لا إله إلا الله
   Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar 	الله أكبر الله أكبر
   wa li-illahi al-hamd 	ولله الحمد

Not being fanatical, we obviously cannot understand that. Thankfully someone did provide us with a translated version. Now we enlighten:

   Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest
   There is no deity but Allah
   Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest
   and to Allah goes all praise  

The above strongly supports the idea as a cult, as the prayer lines are very much like satanic worship.

Also they claim it is to thank Allah for giving them strength to get through the fasting period. In that period, muslims are to refrain from pleasures such as cigarettes sexual activities, and incredibly, eating or drinking during the day. The purpose of not eating, might be to test the muslims on their loyalty towards The Dark Lord. In some countries, muslims caught eating during the fasting period WILL be arrested.

So eating and drinking is a sin, we must live in a very VERY bad world. No? No is right. The restrain from consuming is also another way to channel nutrition to the Dark Lord. These are offerings made by muslims, portraying their loyalty in a bizarre yet, well... foolish way. However, they are allowed to eat in the middle of the night. The theory to that is simple. We all say God watches over us all the time. Allah doesn't. Thus providing the muslims a period to consume for sustenance. And on this day of Eid ul-Fitr, they feast along the celebration of the birth of The Dark Lord, also the fact they do not have to have meal times in the dark, as electric bills are costly for them.

[edit] Around The World

Muslims around the world celebrate this day in slightly different ways.

[edit] North America

North American muslims celebrate the day in a quiet way. This is to avoid being killed by the locals.

[edit] Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei

In Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei, Eid is also known as Hari Raya Aidilfitri or Hari Raya Puasa. Hari Raya literally means 'Grand Day', obviously praising the birth of Satan's inferior cousin. They also feast of delicacies, one of them would be a ketupat.
Yes, it IS a delicacy
Yes, it IS a delicacy

[edit] Every other places on earth

To ensure you do not feel bored while reading this article, this section ends here.

Personal tools
projects