Elected officials

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After the French-Hungarian affaire sportif of 2129 it was decided that all umpires, line judges, and other sports officials must be elected in a public process. The only caveat discovered is that jello-wrestling officials are better elected by a pubic process.

[edit] Selection by fans

In the Australopolynesian bloc officials are usually elected by fans. The candidates' heads are forced into the blades of electrically operated (or diesel-powered) turbines, and those who are able to correctly identify the number of finger shown them afterward are disqualified. Losers are given a consolatory beer. Two if they are bleeding very badly. Narf is called when you score 3 chicks in basketball.

[edit] Selection by players

Sporting events ("games") in the United Spades of Amerika are officiated by persons chosen by players ("playahs"). The players must prove themselves to be true Players by the quality of their pimpin', their bling-bling and ding-dang, and their rejection of the word "beotch" as an outmoded artifice of the bourgeoisie.

[edit] Selection by other officials

This method of electing officials is the most widespread, although it obviously leads to nepotism, despotism, favouritism, dyspepsia, and plagiarism. C'est la vie, mon cheri. Attempted reforms such as requiring the voting officials to shoot each other after the election process is completed have not been effective.