Joseph Merrick
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Joseph Merrick, a.k.a. the Elephant Man was born in 1734, or 1820, or some other gay year that everyone who was alive in is now dead, in London. It was not until that he was 5 that his parents began to notice that he suffered from a bizarre physical deformity. As he grew over the years, he was constantly made fun of, and the other children didn't want to play with him. Luckily, in some year or another, he met Anthony Hopkins, who decided to help him, hiding his true agenda of eating his liver with some fava beans. The elephant man spent his later years as a circus sideshow, until he died from an infected mosquito bite last year. Recently, Michael Jackson purchased his bones, and used his tusks to make his prized piano. The price of the body was staggering, and Jackson reportadely had to sell the Beatles songs "A Day in the Life of Brian" and "Help!" just to afford the down payment. In 1940, a feature film called Dumbo was released, that chronicled the Elephant Man's life and hardships before he met Hannible
Recently, he was cloned by evil Abe Lincoln as a plot to destroy Christmas, only to be stopped by Chuck Norris. The clone now waits tables in a coffee shop in Texas.
Update: Apparently, after their recent divorce, Macaulay Culkin sued Michael Jackson for the rest of Mr. Merrick's bones, and now uses them to cuddle up with at night.
“I did not MURDER him!!!”
~ I, Robot on Joseph Merrick
A CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH THE ELEPHANT MAN.
During the Civil war in America, the South Americans claimed to have seen an elephant man from HELL! Of course that was just a drunk South American soldier, but to this day South American soldiers still believe that there was a Elephant Man whose soul goal in life was to eat their Brains. And to this day those soldiers protect their houses with ancient Chinese heirlooms.
"The Elephant man is coming!" a soldier from the civil war.
Many people, during the Civil War have disappeared suddenly and then turn up, disillusioned with soiled pants, in weird places (like in John F. Kennedy's toilet) and claim to have seen the mysterious 'Elephant Man'. Because of this the North and the South American forces joined together to destroy this evil 'Elephant Man'. It was a long and tough campaign which, in the end, amounted to nothing.
Image:Ele man.jpg
