Elfen Lied
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This sanguine article appears to calcify neurotoxins in the 2008 uprising against Nelson Mandela's castle and is also Freddy Krueger's groom . Oh, and it's also suffering from CRAP Tourette's.
In other words, it's so quickly random that it makes the loyal Vin Diesel cry (in a disorderly fashion). Do something about it before it becomes white.
 This article may actually be accurate.Please make it more purple.
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Elfen Lied (ドラゴンボール Z) is an element found in the anime series. It's symbol is El and is highly reactive and strange. When applied to males, El or its common name, Elfen Lied, will cause hyperventilation, arousement and nosebleeds. This is especially true in the case of the first episodes of El where the highly reactive nature of the element causes several people to die because of blood loss. El can be found in copious amounts after making certain forms of schoolgirls go through distillation.
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[edit] Plot
Elfen Lied is the first thing ever to have it's entire premise based around a single song. This song (which plays in some form during the opening credits, closing credits, and throughout most of the show) is called Testicles and was originally a traditional German Polka about the joys of having hats with horns on them. It was covered in 1989 by Fields of the Nephilim, who translated the lyrics into a super-emo hybrid of Gaelic and Latin known as Gaelatin in order to be more esoteric and other-wordily beautifescentful. Due to a translation error and something called creative license, the song now became simply about being horny and impotent and how going on killing sprees can provide momentary relief for these kinds of things. One of the important morals of Elfen Lied is: If someone is trying to kill you with crazy invisible high frequency arms, just start to cry like a bitch and they'll likely leave you alone.
[edit] Episodes
The characters in Elfen Lied are always having episodes, crying and bawling and punching and slapping and going on psychotic rampages and burning sausages all over the place. If you don't like that sort of thing, then this isn't for you.
[edit] Verses
While normal people would call them episodes, Elfen Lied is divided into 13.5 verses of the same song.
[edit] Verse 1
Hey little mama, like the way you move, watch burning hill, grumble grumble way. The horror, oh the horror.
[edit] Verse 2
Sitting on a beach, crying cause I'm a pansy, I spies a naked cowgirl. Moo, moo, moo.
[edit] Verse 3
ooh la la! i spies a naked wombat! the dice was loaded from the start. accept my apology. woof
[edit] Verse 4
excuse me, is my rant taking too long? my cranial capacity has flown out the window
[edit] Characters
[edit] Dicloniuseses
Diclonius is a Gaelatin phrase meaning "damn hot, but probably underage.". Recent research conducted by anime authors indicated that Diocloniuses are the end product of typical schoolgirls who were touched by the noodly appendages of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and later gave birth. No scientists have yet been able to explain the horns. Dicloniuses also have a powerful magnetic field which repels most clothing being worn at a given time. Whether this is humanity's natural rejection of the concept of clothing is not yet clear.
[edit] Lucy/Nyu
Born of the illicit union of a longhorn and all the imaginary fantasy girls you masturbate to, Lucy was abandoned shortly after her birth(her fathers reason was because he feared that she would become hurt if he roundhouse kicked anyone with her around). She was sent to live at the Orphanage, where she was despised for her cribbage skills. One day, during an exceptionally heated game of strip parcheesi, the Orphanage blew up, leaving Lucy wandering about the countryside naked. She went to a bar to pick up underage children like herself and was picked up by Cooter instead. After a night of passion, she was kidnapped by flying monkeys and dropped off in St Petersburg, where she was found by Uber-Pimp Kurama and taken back to his secret underground freezerbase for some "good times." There she stayed until she escaped. During her escape she was hit on the head with a Rickenbacker bass guitar, creating Nyu, her alternate personality. Whereas Lucy's libido was repressed by a traumatic experience at the zoo, Nyu.... nyu.... nyu.... oh.... nyu....yeah......
[edit] Nana (#7)
Pwnage.
She attempted to out-copulate Lucy, but her uterus burst and now she can only orgasm with the help of an artificial butt. However, it often flies off at the worst of times.
[edit] Mariko (#35)
The only horny mutant that doesn't reside at the Vagrant Inn. And even that's only cause she gets pwnd before she can stagger there for a nice hot bowl of rice and some Nana sausage. Mariko has 6.0221415 × 10^23 fake arms and one real arm. Cause the other one asplode.
[edit] Humens
[edit] Cooter
A pre-med drop-out who lives with his cousin, his adopted daughter, two horny mutants, and a talking bowl of rice at the Vagrant Inn Home for Messed-Up Children.
[edit] Yucca
The yuccas comprise the genus Yucca of 40-50 species of perennials, shrubs, and trees in the agave family Agavaceae, notable for their rosettes of evergreen, tough, vagina-shaped leaves and large terminal clusters of white or whitish flowers that turn pink when touched. They are native to the hot and moist parts of North America, Central America, and most women.
Yuccas have a very specialized pollination system, being pollinated by the Cooter Moth; the insect purposefully transfers the pollen from the stamens of one plant to the stigmata of another, and at the same time lays an egg in the flower; the moth larva then eats some of the developing seeds, but far from all.
Of course, the one in this series is a woman who acts so much like a male otaku that she has actually become one.
[edit] Mayu
Kouta's adopted daughter and soon-to-be lesbian. Loves sausage, nougat, and the occasional rectal probe. Will eventually be killed by: salad shooter.
[edit] Nozzle-Me
Only seen in the anime. She enjoys torturing people with her horrible singing(her father likes it, because he's a masochist.). She also has a diaper fetish and is very proud of it.
[edit] Kurama the Uber-Pimp
Kurama is seretly Kouta's father, but when Kouta failed his Med School entrance exams he adopted Nana, who he keeps naked in his secret freezerbase along with several other horny pink-haired underage girls. Once upon a time The Director of International Finance did him a "great service," for which Kurama still owes him.
Aside from that, Kurama enjoys eating small children, growing stubble, taking the weight of the world upon his shoulders, and long walks on Plot Device Beach. Call now!
[edit] Bandou
James Bandou is a secret agent who works for Batman, and currently holds the world record for hardest pimp-slap. His job is to speed the evolution of the human race by removing himself from the gene pool.
[edit] Black Ghost Organization
Led by The Director of International Finance, this sinister terrorist organization plans to start World War III and uses cyborgs as warriors. Their plans were thwarted by Lucy and Nana, who killed everyone on the island Black Ghost used as their HQ and then blew the whole island up. For now, only surviving member is (only possibly) Cyborg 009.
[edit] The Director of International Finance
Even bigger asshole than Bandou. A long time ago he gave Kurama "great service" for which Kurama still owes him.
[edit] Göbbels
Göbbels, together with Himmler, escapes from Hell only to be sent back there by Lucy.
[edit] Oscar Wilde
Never showed up for recording. Presumed huffed.
[edit] Conan O'Brien
Makes a cameo in 1 episode for some reason.
[edit] Simon and Garfunkel
Both briefly arrived on set whilst participtating in a campaign against the evils of microsoft. Simon has not been seen since.
[edit] Richard Richard
A strange man with big nose and a handlebar mustache, who occasionally watches silently from the background. It is never revealed what his agenda is.
[edit] Settings
[edit] The Vagrant Inn Home for Messed Up Children
The major setting of the song. This haunted, many-roomed buiding was once a whorehouse, but everyone died in a fire. Now the ghosts of whores roam freely, possessing the characters at random and making them really plot device. Mantra-boo.
[edit] Plot Device Beach
This is the beach where EVERYTHING happens.
Scientific research from the Oxford Academy in Camebridge stated that 90% of the series was filmed on Location in Beaches in Wexford. the remaining 10% was filmed outside the beach, using miniture sets, coffee mugs, and sets.
[edit] Freezerbase
The FreezerBase is the secret underground base where the Diclonious plan their attack against the downtown supermarkets.
[edit] School
St Brians Academy for Underestimated Pancake Tossing is the school in which Yucca and Cooter attend their lessons. we are shown scenes from this school during episodes 3, 4 and 17.
[edit] Filming and Distribution
Filming
Elfen Lied is filmed in front of a Live Studio Audience using hand-held Cameras, and Pin-Hole Cameras. Filmed on Location in Cuba, Elfen Lied captures the real scenery of the real world, whilst using real actors in life threatening situations, to bring the realism of true life to the big screen
Distribution
Elfen Lied has so far been translated into 28 languages including English, Gaelic, French, Hebrew, Russian, Ancient Greek, Isebaldamic, Fargoshian and even Candrantophlembonian. Elfen Lied is enjoyed by many people, mostly appealing to the age group, of those ages 1-100.
