Elite Commandments
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“I am elite, I can't be wrong, I am elite, I am always right and know everything.â€
~ Oscar Wilde on being elite
These are the official Ten Commandments for all those who consider themselves elite.
[edit] Elite Commandments
- Never admit you have no idea what you're talking about.
- Never have a good word to say about anyone else but yourself.
- Join every group that will let you join. After a few weeks have passed, quit and claim they aren't good enough to merit your presence.
- Always shift the blame to someone else. "It's not my fault" should become second nature to you.
- Always have nasty things to say about your so called friends behind their backs.
- Hate as many people as possible.
- Start as many edit wars as humanly possible. When you're up against intelligent people and losing your end of the war say "This is stupid and childish, even if I did start it", and stop editing.
- When someone becomes pushy and openly challenges your knowledge about something. Say "I know the answer, but you're not elite enough, so I can't tell you."
- If anyone still dares to question you then threaten them with tough things like getting someone to turn their phones off, or charge 10 billion toilets on their mothers credit card. It doesn't matter whether or not you actually know how to do this, or know anyone else who will do it for you. This is a favorite tactic of Elite Phreak. 'Warning': Be sure to only use this on a fellow Elite Phreak, pirate or equivalent ignorant person. Anyone else will laugh at you and tell you to fuck off. Only adding to the questioning of your massive eliteness.
- Make as big a fool of yourself as is possible. Display your ignorance and stupidity in a manner that will make itself noticeable to the modem community at large. If you are a aspiring elite pirate, get your name in as many articles as fast as possible. Or if you are a up and coming Elite Phreak, start up your own little world, refuse to see anyone's viewpoint but your own, and declare yourself mega-elite.
[edit] Extra Notes
When in doubt, repeat to yourself the sacred chant:
I am elite, I can't be wrong, I am elite, I am always right and know everything.
Repeat until your confidence is restored. Humming, or accompaniment by a choir is optional.
Also be certain to rag on anyone who displays any kind of knowledge about anything and is not currently elite. If he is not elite then he cannot be right. After all, everyone in the universe cares about the elite hierarchy. It is what makes the world go around!


