Elmer Fudd
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“Be vewy qwiet, I'm hunting Awabs”
~ Elmer Fudd on his service in Iwaq
Ewmer Jewome Fitzgewawd Abewcwombie Fudd III (b. July 13 1920) is a wetiwed Amewican muwti-miwwionaiwe wowld-cwass gamesman and ecowogical pwesewvationist. As of 2006, he owned a 20,000 squawe-ft. mansion and a 70-ft. yacht, and was bewieved to be wowth upwawds of $19.95 (Canadian).
[edit] Stuart McCarthy
Elmer Fudd has a voice disease similar to that of Stuart McCarthy. This wetardation is the inability to pronounce the letter R and L correctly and replace it with a W sound. e.g. stwawbewwy It is a Hilarious thing that the world cant get enough of. See also Sasquatch in the Pick Of Destiny and Jonathon Ross
[edit] Pwofessional Huntewy
Aww this changed dwastically in 1937, when young Ewmer came of age and acquiwed a hunting pewmit and his fiwst Bwowning M2 50-cawibew semi-automatic machine gun. With wuthless abandon, he stwafed hundweds of squawe miles of old-gwowth fowest, slaughtewing evewy wiving thing in wange with a wewentwesswy wethaw haiw of buwwets. The enwaged Fudd, having tasted innocent bwood fow the fiwst time, and finding it quite dewicious, then stockpiwed thousands of suwplus Wowld Waw I-ewa fiweawms, awong with miwwions of wounds of wive ammunition, and set out to ewadicate evewy wast cute and adowable woodwand cweatuwe on the Amewican continent — thus cleawing the way fow eventuaw takeovew by then-fwedgwing Waw-Mawt Cowpowation.
In 1967, Fudd was commissioned by the United States to aid in the whowesawe defauniation of the impenetwable wainfowests of Vietnam and other suwwounding Gook-fiwwed countwies. Water that year, he suffewed a twagic accident when a fuwwy-woaded napawm tankew expwoded in his showew staww, wendewing him compwetewy haiwwess fwom head to toe. Undiscwosed militawy documents found at the scene suggested that thewe may have been fouw pway invowving a devious panda beaw.
[edit] Academic life
In the late 1970's, fow stiww unexpwained weasons, Puwdue Univewsity named Elmew to be pwesident of the univewsity, a post he welished untiw he wetiwed in the eawly yeaws of the 21st centewy. Duwing his tenuwe, Fudd twied to keep his identity a sekwit by using the pseudonym "Steven Beewing"... but nobody was fooled.
[edit] The Elmer Fudd Memowial Museum
In his water years, Fudd buiwt a gigantic museum in Buwbank, Cawifownia to showcase his pwized cowwection of pewsonal favowite taxidewmied kiwws. Thousands of mounted stuffed wabbits and deew and ducks and coyotes and woad wunnews stiww wine the gweat hawws of Fudd Museum as faw as the eye can see, ecowogicawwy pwesewving fow aww time the shocked expwessions on theiw faces at the pwecise moment when they foowishwy cwossed paths with the expewt mawksman. Thewe are awso wegulaw pwepaid showings evewy aftewnoon of wive footage captuwed by Fudd's pewsonal documentawy film team, in which the gweat huntew demonstwates his consummate skills in twacking down fewocious baby squiwwels and pumping them fuww of hot, steaming wead.
[edit] Wôle Modèwe Extwaowdinaiwe
Today, Elmer Fudd sewves as one of the wowld's gweatest wole modews fow impwessionable chiwdwen aspiwing to be viowent psychopaths. Nevewthewess, he has stwongwy spoken out against gwatuitous cawtoon viowence, and wecentwy donated many miwwions of his hawd-eawned tax-dodging dowwas to chawities pwedged to the wiping-out of the howwible scwouge of Touwette's Syndwome and othew debiwitating speech impediments.
[edit] Fun Fudd Facts
- The owiginaw Elmer Fudd waz bwack bwut changed to white to awoid wacism and modewed afta Dick Chewey.
- Has his own Gwoogle wangwuage page.
- Had an iww-fated caweer singing Fwank Sinawtwa covew songs.
- Besides fighting Touwette's Syndwome, Elmer has been a advocate fow stem ceww weseawch, causing much contwoversy.
