Emo War
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| The Emo War | |
|---|---|
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| Conflict: The Emo War | |
| Date: May 9th 1984-December 29th 1993 | |
| Places: Emo: The pitch-black capital of Emoism, Wristslit New wristslit the Blood red Emo sea New Harrath New Ucklan U.S.A. Mexico Europe Gheer Middle Earth Douglas Promenade, Isle of Man | |
| Cause: G.O.E. and K.A.E.A. deciding to come together to form the U.D.O.E.E., dedicated to Emo Genocide | |
| Result: Emos Fight and succed in destroying U.D.O.E.E., Chuck Norris liberates most countries under Emo control | |
| Combatants | |
| Emos [AKA society for emo freedom | U.D.O.E.E and Chuck Norris |
| Commanders | |
| Lord Cutshimself, (Emo) John fuckConformityICanDrawDemonsIfIWantToBitch (Emo) Helen Slicedtits | George isatotalAsshole (1983-1988 U.D.O.E.E.) Harold T. FuckwadPussy (1988-1993 U.D.O.E.E.) Geraldo pissface (E.A.O.U.) Chuck Norris |
| Strength | |
| 9000,000 emos | U.O.O.E.E.=130,ooo E.A= 50,000 |
| Casualties | |
| 500,757 dead emos | 507,562 dead anti emos |
| 1444 dead civilians | |
The emo war began on May 9th, 1984 with the fourth assault on Bolivia by the K.A.E.A. (Kill All Emo Association), and ended in 1998.
Contents |
[edit] The Leading up to the War (1970-1982)
In 1970 began the first assault on bolivia, home of G.O.E. (Genocide Of Emos), by K.A.E.A. the latter demanded that emos not be immediately killed, due to the fact that all emos will eventually kill themselves (in soviet russia, EMO cuts YOU!!!!, defended Vladmir Slofsky), Whereas G.O.E. wanted to kill them all as they were always 'poisoning the oxygen with deppression and soiling everything they touch with their bloody wrists' and that 'Emo music sucks cock more than your mother'. This escalated into an invasion by K.A.E.A. which lasted until 1974 when the emporer of K.A.E.A. was assasinated. There were 3 more assaults (Assault 2 in 1977, assault 3 in 1980, and assault 4 in 1984), but then both sides cam together to destroy the emos.
[edit] Early stages of the War (1984)
U.D.O.E.E. (Ultimate Destruction Of Emos for Eternity), as the new society of Emo Destruction was called, hald a massive Mettallica concert in canada with over 100,000 emos present. Waiting for Mettallica to show up, the Emos were anxious, cutting themselves gleefully. however, Mettallica never showed.......The 'concert' was bombed by U.D.O.E.E., and all 100,000 Emos were killed.
[edit] House Raids of 1986
In July of 1986, E.A.O.U. (European Allies Of U.D.O.E.E.) of U.D.O.E.E. had been criticized of not doing enough to battle Emos. During 1985, E.A.O.U. had only led attacks on small underground emo shows (their death count of Emos was only 100,000, bringing the total to 200,000) they believed he had to destroy the small bands before they get big. Their were few big emo bands during 1984-86. and E.A.O.U. did not consider them a threat. By the year 1986, E.A.O.U. still thought the bigger bands ment nothing but was agreed to do more against the emos by striking the fans personally. In Europe over 3600 houses were raided in the countries of Great Britian, America and the Emo capital of Wristslit. 150,000 Emos were pput into the happy-time-fun compound where the Emo men were forced to draw colorful flowers and not allowed to cut themselves, and emo women were forced to wear pink and smile. 150,000 emos were slaughtered. (bringing the total to 350,000).
[edit] The 1989-1990 Emo assault on Happy-time fun-compound
Up until 1989 Emos had fought back by firing blood from their wrists, spreading AIDS throughout U.D.O.E.E., killing 100,000 anti-Emo activists. In a bid to win the war, The Emos set up a base in Mexico, within 5 miles of Happy-Time-Fun-Compound. Kevin Cutshimself, along with john fuckConformityICanDrawDemonsIfIWantToBitch, led the assault on THe compound in an attempt to rescue his emo girlfriend. 'I miss her cut-up titties!' he shreiked in his high-pitched emo voice as he ran into battle. The horrible base was destroyed and there was a massive victory party afterwards.
[edit] Emo Assault (1993)
The Emos finally acquired aircraft and slaughtered the E.A.O.U., converting over 300,000 members of E.A.O.U. to Emoism using mass-whining tactics. This battle is known as the 'Battle of New Harrath' as New harrath is where the battle was fought. The U.D.O.E.E., realizing it was fucked, surrendered and the emos moved on to live in peace (or as peaceful as they can be, what with all the self abuse).
[edit] Chuck Norris turns the tide
By 1994 New punk bands weere emerging and more and more emos were joined the war. Middle Earth Canadia and Happy land had fallen. Chuck Norris led a coalition in an effort to kill off the emo armies. They bombed and brutalized MCR concerts. An armistance was signed in 1998.
[edit] List of Battles
The first battle of New Harrath
Victor: U.D.O.E.E./E.A.O.U.
The battle of Wristslit
Victor:U.D.O.E.E./E.A.O.U.
The second battle of New Harrath
Victor: Emos
The third Battle of new Harrath
Victor: Emos
The battle of Gheer
Victor: U.D.O.E.E./E.A.O.U.
The battle of New Ucklar
Victor: Emos
Chuck Norris assualts
Victor: Chuck Norris
[edit] See Also
Categories: Wars | Emo
