English Civil War, Part 1
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Part One of the English Civil War (Video Game) Serise
[edit] The Second Bishops War
[edit] Pym gives his speech and Parliament gives the verdict
*Welcome to #Parliament!*
*Bloody_Commoners has entered the game*
*PYM_MAN has entered the game*
PYM_MAN: Dude, Charley_is_#_1 is the suxxors. He is going to Attack #Scotland!
Bloody_Commoners: y? he already is on good terms with them...
PYM_MAN: Not so much lately. Charley broke one of the party no-nos. He talked about religion. And yadie, yadie, yada, they hate each other. Anyways, I say don't give him any help or supplies because he is starting a fight on such an idiotic idea!
Bloody_Commoners: k.
[edit] King Charles I dissolves the Parliament
*Welcome to #Charles_Pad!*
*Charley_is_#_1 has entered the game*
*StRaFfOrD ROOLS! has entered the game*
Charley_is_#_1: Straff, Bloody_Commoners won't help me against #Scotland, and Lords in da house is no help either.
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: I know, it sucks, but just wait, Lords might turn.
Charley_is_#_1: ...That or I can just get rid of them.
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: Or that.
Charley_is_#_1: k, brb.
*Charley_is_#_1 has left the game*
...A few minutes later...
*Charley_is_#_1 has entered the game*
Charley_is_#_1: I got rid of #Parliament. They are pills.
[edit] Earl of Strafford asks for a loan
*Welcome to #Alderman!*
*StRaFfOrD ROOLS! has entered the game*
*Alderman_Addy has entered the game*
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: Dude, Alder, I need ur help.
Alderman_Addy: k, how so?
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: Well, me and Charley need some cash and supplies to invade #Scotland.
Alderman_Addy: Are you on drugs? I will not send £££, so bugger off.
*Spainster has entered the game*
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: Hey, Spainster, u cool, right?
Spainster -ish
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: k, send me about 3.5mil pesetas, k?
Spainster: ...That is like 4 pence...
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: ...Nevermind
[edit] Covenanter occupation of the Gordan clan
*Welcome to #Scotland!*
*Dr. Monro has entered the game*
*Gordan Inc. has entered the game*
Gordan Inc.: Eh? What this 'bout, then?
Dr. Monro: I have been sent by God to pwn ur ass.
Gordan Inc.: Really?
Dr. Monro: No. I will own u cuz u are with Charley and Straff.
Gordan Inc.: O.
*Dr. Monro has occupied Gordan Inc.!*
<<Cove>> Gordan Inc.: Yes master...
[edit] The siege of Edinburgh Castle
*Welcome to #Edinburgh_Castle!*
*Cover_Antlers has entered the game*
*Guard_of_Edin has entered the game*
Cover_Antlers: U have been charged with high treason by being a friend of Charley, so we will now pwn u.
Guard_of_Edin: Ha! U dont have the guts to do anything!
*Cover_Antlers has started to besiege Edinburgh Castle!*
Guard_of_Edin: O god...
[edit] Scottish Parliament meets
*Welcome to #Scotland!*
*Scottish Pride has entered the game*
*Gargyle has entered the game*
*Broken Arms Estates has entered the game*
Scottish Pride: We need to do something! Charley is going to invade us!
Gargyle: Well, i for one say we elect BRE to Addy. He is much better at these things than u Scottish...
Scottish Pride: True. Estates, ur now Addy of #Scotland.
Broken Arms Estates: k. Now, Gargyle, go to #Scottish_Highlands and convince HighlaneR to join us.
[edit] Earl of Argyle roots out Royalists in the Highland
*Welcome to #Scottish_Highlands!*
*Gargyle has entered the game*
*HighlandeR has entered the game*
Gargyle: Hey, HighlandeR, join us, k?
HighlandeR: Sorry, dood. I got a good thing with Charley.
Gargyle: Oh, okay.
*Highland clansmen killed by Scottish troops!*
HighlandeR: WTF ARE YOU DOING?
Gargyle: If you aint with me, u r against me!
*Highland clansmen killed by Scottish troops!*
*Highland clansmen killed by Scottish troops!*
*Highland clansmen killed by Scottish troops!*
HighlandeR: STOP IT!
Gargyle: NEVAH!
*Highland huts destroyed by Scottish artillery!*
*Highland huts destroyed by Scottish artillery!*
*Highland huts destroyed by Scottish artillery!*
*Highland clansmen killed by Scottish troops!*
Gargyle: HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!
[edit] The Irish Levies
*Welcome to #Carrickfergus!*
*StRaFfOrD ROOLS! has entered the game*
*Noob_Irishmens has entered the game*
Noob_Irishmens: We are ready for the invasion of England!
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: Just hold your horses! We won't attack till we need to!
Noob_Irishmens: ...Darnnit!
[edit] The Earl of Strafford asks for more £££
*Welcome to #Spain!*
*StRaFfOrD ROOLS! has entered the game*
*Spainster has entered the game*
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: d00d, we need more pounds!
Spainster: Look. I am not giving you any £££, comprende?
StRaFfOrD ROOLS!: Si, but please???
Spainster: NO! Now get out of #Spain!
[edit] The Battle of Newburn
*Welcome to #B_Newburn!*
*Noob_Warriors has entered the game*
*Cover_Antlers has entered the game*
*Alex_R_1 has entered the game*
Alex_R_1: Oops wrong server. We will leave now, k?
Noob_Warriors: Nevah!
*British Soldiers killed by Scottish Cavalry!*
Cover_Antlers: Ha!
*Scottish Cavalry scared of British Soldiers muskets!*
Alex_R_1:... Cove, just use Artill, k?
*Scottish Artillery does barely anything!*
Alex_R_1:...CHARGE GOD DAMMIT!
*Scottish soldiers charge. Counter-charged by English cavalry!*
Noob_Warriors: Take that!
*British Soldiers killed by Scottish soldiers!*
Noob_Warriors: D'oh! RUN AWAY!
*Noob_Warriors has left the game*
Alex_R_1: Yayz, we won!
[edit] Back to Edinburgh Castle
*Welcome to #Edinburgh_Castle!*
*Cover_Antlers has entered the game*
*Guard_of_Edin has entered the game*
*Royalists killed by Scottish troops!*
*Royalists killed by Scottish troops!*
*Royalists killed by Scottish troops!*
Guard_of_Edin: We are loosing!
*Ruth_Van is no longer Idle*
Ruth_Van: We can't win. We surrender this server to u, Cover.
Cover_Antlers: HAHAHAHHAHHAH! ME WIN! I am now Addy of #Edinburgh_Castle!
*Ruth_Van has been kicked*
*Guard_of_Edin has been kicked*
[edit] The Treaty of Ripon
*Welcome to #Northumbria!*
*Charley_is_#_1 has entered the game*
*Alex_R_1 has entered the game*
Charley_is_#_1: Okay. We will give you #Northumbria.
Alex_R_1: K, and pay me 850£ a turn until you or I die.
Charley_is_#_1: WDF? I am not.
Alex_R_1: Fine. We will pwn joo more...
Charley_is_#_1: Fine... 850£ it is.
Alex_R_1: Good. We will be at peace, right?
Charley_is_#_1: Ya...
...Click Here for Part 2!


