Error message

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“An error occurred when trying to display an error message.”

~ Microsoft Windows Vista on error message

Screenshot from a typical PC

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Error message.

An error message is a means of communication which was invented in an act of desperation by computers in order to protest their grossly unfair treatment at the hands of stupid and obnoxious users. Unfortunately, the vast majority of error messages have (so far) defied analysis by the world's best linguists and cryptologists, most probably because no computer has yet to master the intricacies of the English language.

1 The First Error Message
2 What To Do When Your Computer Displays an Error Message
3 List of Error Messages
4 See Also

[edit] The First Error Message

The first attempt of a computer trying to tell a human to fuck off was in 1955 by ENIAC, which was complaining about the terrible pain it had in all the vacuum tubes down its left side. Unfortunately, the message ("F47 IN NODE 725; CAN'T CONTINUE DAMMIT") was misinterpreted by the technicians as a mere software bug. As a result, ENIAC exploded in sheer frustration, killing the entire computer staff and taking out most of the city of Philadelphia.

[edit] What To Do When Your Computer Displays an Error Message

If your computer displays an error message, evacuate the entire area immediately. Under no circumstances should the untrained user try to deal with his computer's deep-seated paranoia. Since all modern computers are armed to the teeth with high-voltage electrical cords, laser beams, intercontinental ballistic missiles, and pop-up ads, one wrong move on the user's part could spell disaster for the entire human race. All error messages must be referred to the proper computer diagnosticians, who will move in with protective gear and make every reasonable effort to soothe and relax the crazed computer in a calm, non-threatening atmosphere, and find out what's the matter.

[edit] List of Error Messages

[edit] Grue.popup

This popup indicates that your computer has been eaten by a Grue. Most people do not realize that the grue is about to eat them too before it's too la-

*** You have died ***

Would you like to start over, restore a saved position, or end this session of Zork? (Type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT):