Essay

[edit] Essay: An Essay on the EssayFighter

Yep, this is pretty much how I wrote this Essay.

An essay is generally thought to be a device for disproving or proving a theory the writer knew was a particular way anyway. However this essay will attempt the ultimate task: To define essay, making sure to take a positive route. It might be called an article, THIS IS SPARTA but that would be taking self-reference to silly levels, which are often not present in an essay. Ever. Even the ones about chocolate coated communist penguins. Nothing is silly at all about chocolate covered communist penguins, because the essay is known to kill all humour. It might be called an article. Another feature of the Essay is repetition. I mean, repetition. The art of just repeating yourself. Did I get the point about repetition across?

[edit] Picking a subject

First of all, the guide to a what constitutes good essay is to pick a good subject...

Which amounts to any subject at the end of the day. ANYTHING!

In fact, why not use a random subject? It's probably as good as that mind sitting doing 10% of the work that you should be doing for yourself...

Why not write about... The uplifting and cheery music of Radiohead!

A nice pointless diagram will impress everyone and make your essay look important.

[edit] Now to the Essay

Now you have the subject, it should be easy to build an essay around it. First present whatever subject takes your fancy, and state some facts, as the one thing that can't be questioned is fact, in accordance with Mini True Order 94A through to...forget it, you wouldn't be interested. Then, argue relentlessly!

Has anyone considered the fact that the sky is a light shade of mauve instead of blue? Has anyone thought that the theory of relativity is flawed by not acknowledging the existence of elves? Has anyone asked why this is an article instead of an Essay?

Once this is set up, it should be easy enough to knock down the questions you asked. Continue rubbishing it into the ground. The Essay has had it's day anyway, I always thought it was a waste of time myself.

[edit] Conclusion

For the conclusion, a statement at the end usually says that neutrality is disputed, but the essay will obey the Status Quo while asking one last question. This is quite hard, as their lyrics are quite hard to interpret sometimes, and anyway it doesn't matter because everything is neutral at the end of the day.

[edit] See also

In what way is Snickers satisfying?