Euphonium

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A Euphonium.

A euphonium is the cation E₃O+. It is a product of the self-ionization of euphoria. It takes a formula structure not unlike that of hydronium, except the hydrogen is replaced by its counterpart, with three euphogen atoms, one of which bears a transcendental charge, and one orgasm atom. As self-ionization is an equilibrium reaction, euphoniui can produce euphoria, and euphoria can produce euphoniui. As a result, euphoniui are often said to sound very pleasant, harmonic and transcendental due to its close, intimate relationship with euphoria, as they both have orgasms.

The euphonium was first bred in Sicklinghall by Lord Wilhum the 1st. The word "euphony" (meaning "flowing and aesthetically pleasing speech") is derived from the subliminal harmonious messages euphoniui seem to cause. This subliminal messaging has led to some of its banning in many countries for having psychedelic properties.

However, the production of euphoniui in this self-ionization equilibrium reaction results in the production of euphoxide, which is the non-transcendental, decadent side of euphoria. It occurs when the euphogen does not balance out the sheer overwhelming power of the orgasm atom and is further overwhelmed with too many electrons. Unlike its name suggests however, euphoxide isn't the same as euphocide (a killer of happiness), but it is too decadent to bring about true euphoria.

Note that due to the theory of quantum mechanics regarding charge-cloud models (named after castles on clouds, a category of shamelessly idealistic, wistful, fanciful models that euphoria), euphoria's boundaries are loosely defined. This has led to some dispute over what euphoria "truly" is. The theory regarding charge-cloud models has also impacted the definitions of many other atoms, including euthanasia. This is why philosophers can't seem to come to terms on definitions of anything that's shamelesly idealistic, wistful or fanciful.

Anyway, euphonium and euphoxide must combine with each other in order to form euphoria, while euphoria can break down into euphonium and euphoxide, despite being opposites in some respects. This paradoxical nature is similar to yin-yang duality.

Euphonium, euphoxide, orgasms and euphogen, components of euphoria as a whole are force-carrier particles of eudaimonia (Aristotle's "good spirits" - gosh his liquor tasted good!) commonly found in Happy-land. This gives it many nicknames.

A euphonium addict in a euphoria induced state.

Abused by many, euphoniui have become a staple of modern drug-awareness campaigns to attempt to help addicts (left). Although largely unsuccessful, these campaigns have resulted in some progress but mostly complete and utter failure due to the euph-rage created when addicts don't get their fix.

The euphonium also comes in turbo diesel (TDV6 EUPH), solar powered, and Jesus-Powered! (also available in Black Jesus).