Eva Braun
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“Had a nice ear, shame it went mouldy”
~ Oscar Wilde on Eva Braun
“My hero!”
~ Ann Coulter on Eva Braun
“By falling in love with Hitler, Eva Braun unwittingly proved the non-existence of virginity and singleness”
~ Some Historian on How Love is inescapable
Eva Braun was born Eva Hillary Braun in 1912. She languished in a period of celebrity in Germany, during the late 1930's and 1940's, when she grew out her moustache and hooked up with a politician, whom she thought could help further her career. She became the First Lady of the Third Reich and the Second Lady of the Fourth Reich. She later changed her name to Hillary Clinton.
[edit] Career
Eva planned to launch a singing career in Poland in 1939, as her boyfriend promised her a captive audience. However Shirley Bassey travelled back in time and stole her original composition, "Big Spender". As her boyfriend got busy dealing with other things, Eva's quest for fame was put on the back burner.
After the death of the dictator in 1959, Eva changed her name to Hillary Clinton, because Jackie Kennedy had already been taken. She began a successful career as a teacher in Maryland. Reports say that she once killed a man with a fender guitar, but details are sketchy and nobody is saying anything.
“I'd love her if she was a guy”
~ Oscar Wilde on Eva Braun
In 1992, Eva Hillary Braun tried to be the Hottest German Teacher Who Had A Relationship With Hitler. However, Lindsay Lohan won the price, and so Braun began stalking then-President Bill Clinton.
Just so y'all know, she is the dad of Bob "Squirts 'Til it Hurts" Faggot.
[edit] Name Changes
In 2004 she briefly changed her name to Teresa Kerry, then changed it to Peggy Fleming, then back to Hillary Clinton.
[edit] Links
- Ann Coulter
- Links? Don't you mean Lynx! That's how Eva Braun got into Hitler in the very first place.
