Everybody

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Approximately half of everybody, as seen from space.

“In Soviet Russia, everybody kills YOU!!”

~ Television on everybody.

At least one other person. If you ask one friend, casual acquaintance, or pet for an opinion, that's enough to say everybody agrees that X is true. This is because everybody is a nobody, and nobody is perfect. And yet, everybody is commonly known to be very dim-witted. Everybody is also known to go to every party, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol. Basically, for everything you can name, "everybody is doing it." That means not you.

However, the fact is, if you don't know what an everybody is, you probably aren't one yourself. Take a look out your window. Do you see all those people there, laughing and standing in a group that you aren't a part of? That's everybody.

There is a ray of hope, though, if you are someone else who is not everybody, written by Anonymous for people who royally screw up and get others killed. There are three other characters in this story, who are Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. And, here, you can experience the admiration Anonymous had for Everybody.

"So anyway, there was this job that needed to be done, right? And Everybody needed to do it; but since he was a procrastinating bastard, he thought Somebody would do it. It turns out that Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it instead. So Somebody was angry that Nobody did it, and he was jealous that Nobody was rewarded for doing it. But Nobody realized that Everybody did it, because Nobody was a schizophrenic who believed he was Everybody. So the two Everybodys killed each other, and Somebody and Anybody became the new Everybody. However, before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact that, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plauged by Anybody with Somebody, died a horrible, lonely death. So Everybody lost, and Nobody won." ~ Anonymous

[edit] Facts about Everybody:

hates Chris
loves Raymond
needs somebody to lean on
He lies.
He hates you.
He loves a slinky.
He must get stoned!
He must Wang Chung tonight.
He wants to rule the world.
He is a genius and an idiot.
He is the equivalent of Chuck Norris
He needs somebody sometimes.
Saving the Earth is his job.
When in clubs, he's frequently urged to engage in such behavior as clapping his hands and saying "yeah!".
He wants to eat your bawls.
He hurts and cries, sometimes.
He's after me...
He's after you
If its possible he can do it.
He is somewhere.
He knows that he dies, and the Doctor more than most.
He is Nelly Furtado at weekends.
He does it.
Yet He doesn't.
He does your mom sometimes.
and sometimes mine.
He's got something to hide except me and my monkey.
He may or may not have two legs.
He is pitied by Mr T.
He is laughing at you behind your back.
He hates Chris.
He must rock his body, because Backstreet's back. Alright.
Just because he is doing it, doesn't mean you should too.
Just kidding. He's doing it, so you should too!
He is doing the fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
He sings the blues, sometimes.
He consists mainly of water.
If he can't do it, no one can.
He is over 9001.
He speaks a language.
He was Kung-Fu Fighting.
He knows that smoking ain't allowed in school.
He knows that the bird is the word.
He could use a new set of kitchen knives from that infomercial.
Steve Ballmer has vowed to Fucking Kill™ him.
He likes sex.
He should read Nietzsche.
He's got a brain.
He poops (allegedly).
He masturbates.
alot.
He is Nyxa's father.
He is a level 70 Shaman.
He summons pianos to do his dirty work.
He is really a female male impersonator that also happens to work for the goverment
He is not related to you in anyway
He huffs kittens.
He is both male and female, thus making him a hermaphrodite
He's everywhere
He's never gunna give you up.
He's nobody till somebody kills him.
He's gonna have a good time tonight just shaking the soles of his feet