Evidently

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[edit] Introduction

A much under-estimated word, evidently can slay opponents just by its mere mention. For example:

• "My house is on fire. Please call for help." "Evidently."
• "I have no time to edit appropriately. I am too busy being a prima donna." "Evidently."

As you can see, this powerful word has the ability to lay waste to cities, level mountains, and even fend off flying cucumbers.

[edit] The Meaning of Fluff

In 1965, Mr. Littlesmall accidentally stumbled across the meaning of fluff. He proceeded to produce an enormous treatise on the matter in question, only to be waylaid when a neighbor called, took a once over of the subject matter and pronounced "evidently". Mr Littlesmall was devastated and burned all evidence of his research and conclusions and the world has been deprived of his wisdom ever since. Evidently.

[edit] Other Usages

Evidently is not only a slayer in conversation. It can also be a means by which one confirms vague interest in the conversation of another person. Take a waffler, for instance. A person who speaks constantly and never draws a single breath can be easily assuaged as you listen to your iPod covertly by inserting the occasional half-hearted "evidently" to indicate continued support and interest in the waffler's tale. The waffler will be so happy to have got all off his chest that it is likely he will eventually shut up.

Evidently comes in handy at the bank also. When the teller informs you that you have overdrawn, reply with a sardonic "evidently" with one raised eyebrow. The resulting disturbance in the teller will create enough diversion for you to counteract with a request that she double check her records and immediately reinstate the missing funds. So upbraided by the "evidently" pronounced with such precision, the teller will immediately comply and shift to error to some other user's account. Evidently.

[edit] When Not To Use It

Evidently is not a term to be used in a Mad Scientist's Laboratory. The resulting confusion and the boiling anger of the Mad Scientist may cause an explosive reaction in which you will be burned to smithereens. All because the implication of the word "evidently" will always be understood by a Mad Scientist as condescending, pointed at the Mad Scientist's shortcomings and possibly also extending to his cat. Leave it be. Evidently.