Evil lair
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An evil lair is a well hidden base from which an aspiring evil genius seeks to carry out his plans. A lair is typically staffed by a variety of henchmen and minions, who seek to serve their master, usually out of fear, greed or mind control.
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[edit] Types of lairs
The main feature of a typical evil lair is that it is secure. Examples include castles, dungeons, pits or fortresses of any description. Isolated volcanic islands are a favorite of the advanced evil geniuses, especially those with aspirations in rocketry.
This guide will aid you in real estate for evil lairs.
[edit] Castles
These creepy places look like Dracula lives there. Perfect place for trapdoors leading to mad scientist labs. Best to be made from stone or other crumbly, ancient material, moss and arachnids are a bonus, nothing gleaming or clean. The machinery must also be used and tarnished.
Henchmen don't do as well here, just stick with a creepy butler or servant with a funny accent.
[edit] Dungeons
Dungeons are underground. They have loads of Flasks that usually hold some serious mead. These are just as old and crumbly as castles, and they don't have too much machinery, preferring to use ancient torture methods of confinement instead.
Not too many of the henchmen will be seen, just the occasional guard and many, many monsters in labyrinths. Most of the machinery will be replaced with potions or other chemistry sets, nothing too technological will be in here.
[edit] Fortresses
Fortresses are the cream of the crop. These tend to be very secretive and are well adapted to whatever environment you build them in to coneal them. They are one of the few types of evil lairs where gleaming machinery and laboratories are not out-of-place, and they are usually constructed as laybrinths to confuse the heroes.
Remember to make sure the air shafts are always small enough so no hero-sized people can fit through them. And it must be well-lit, or you will never be able to work on your evil doom projects. If you are ardent about dark chambers, be sure to use blacklights.
Fortresses are the common choice of today's modern villian. The models also come with quarters and recreation centers for your henchmen, because you need a large staff and you need to keep them happy to prevent rebellions.
[edit] Volcanic Islands
The rich, aspiring young genius with a near-infinite supply of cash in the form of two tons of gold bullion in a small time/space container that he/she had gained from their future successful self will love to purchase a small, private volcanic island. The best part about those is that they are small enough to mask from GPS's and that they have enough solitary for the science guys to have some peace and quiet. And just in case your biological weaponry get out, the island is secluded enough for quarantine.
These are just an upgrade from the Fortresses. But they can prove as good things when you find out that they aren't as easy to access for the heroes. It's a mighty fine investment.
[edit] What you put in an Evil Lair
[edit] Traps
Traps are a basic necessity, and range from ordinary lethal traps and at least one death trap (a torturous and needlessly complex device that causes a slow death that the hero will get strapped into instead of just being shot in the head, thus allowing a chance to escape and make a comeback).
Pit traps and things that shoot out of walls are popular designs among the technologically impaired, while those more gifted in this area show more variety but also a considerable tendency towards using lasers.
Sharks with lasers attached to their heads are an especially effective deterrent to would-be do-gooders though they can also be hard on the hired help.
[edit] Other goodies
Other common furnishings include but are not limited to:
- A main control room with a great viewscreen and a digital countdown clock
- An inner sanctum that may double as a meeting place with other heads of the underworld
- Fiendish laboratories that are crawling with crimes against nature. If the villain has any inclinations towards biochemistry, monster/mutant cages that invariably prove too flimsy in a real emergency, or hero attack and of course a spectacular self-destruct system that can be wired to the villain himself as a dead man's switch.
Sentient and malevolent AIs are a bonus.
[edit] Secret Evil Lairs?
Secrecy is optional, but plots tend to revolve around the hero finding the lair as well as entering it. The job of the henchmen is then to engage the hero in single combat (when one good rush would finish him off) using their unique specialties, while the minions work feverishly on the final stage of the evil plan and die a lot.
[edit] See also
Categories: Evil | Places
