F4

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“Ok, here goes: ffffffPFFFH-*COUGH* Damnit fffFoxworthy! Get back here!”

~ Oscar Wilde on pronunciation

1 F4: The Magical Letter
2 Pronunciation
3 Uses
4 The Alt+F4 Society
5 See Also

[edit] F4: The Magical Letter

F4 is one of the more notorious letters of the alphabet. F4 is actually a contraction of the original spelling "fffF", which was first created in the 16th century by the great inventor fffFrancis fffFoxworthy, so that he could finally get his name spelled properly. Since then, F4 has taken on many unique uses and functions and, according to some urban legends, is also accredited with supernatural powers.

[edit] Pronunciation

Linguisticly, fffF is termed as a sustained unvoiced labiodental fricative with an aspirated termination. The sound is not unlike that of someone slashing your bike tires, or a successful kitten huffing.

To produce the purest fffF sound however, have a friend start saying "ffffffffff", then when they get to the third f, punch them in the stomach. You will be richly rewarded with a superbly intonated fffF. This is generally a safe procedure, as it will often take a minute or two for them to catch their breath, providing ample time to escape. If however, you bungle the linguistic exercise, or otherwise fail to escape, you may too get the opportunity to produce a potent F4. Great at parties.

[edit] Uses

F4, or its extended form fffF, has its primary use in spelling the numerous words that contain it. For spelling purposes fffF is more commonly used than F4, which is usually used in casual conversation due to complications that may arise when using proper annunciation. On the internet, F4 is by and large, the more dominant form.

The other common use for F4 is in conjunction with the letter Alt, used when educating n00bs about some of the finer points of online multiplayer gaming, such as how to unlock the secret abilities that you are using to pwn them so bad. They will be very appreciative, and will often abruptly log off to contemplate their newfound wisdom.

[edit] The Alt+F4 Society

There is a rumor that all PC game programmers belong to to the highly secretive Alt+F4 Society. Because of this, whenever you press Alt+F4 when playing online, really cool things happen that make you unbeatable in the game, depending on what game you are playing. For instance, if you use it when playing Halo, it will give you the Grue Launcher. If you use it while playing WoW, it will summon over nine thousand demons that will totally rape everybody in the ass. But be warned, only 1337 G4M3RZ can use it.