FBI
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 This page does not exist. You can help Uncyclopedia by existing it. |
The FBI does not believe this article exists, and neither do you, if you want to stay alive please click here
 
| It is a violation of federal, state, and/or international law to view this article. Thus, YOU MAY NOT VIEW THIS ARTICLE. Violators will be punished with instant decapitation and a $15 fine. |  
|
This Article Doesn't Concern You. Move Along Quietly.
 FBI WARNING:The FBI is monitoring this webpage. If you are here, they're already coming to get you, you sick Commie bastard!
|
“Shhh...It's a secret”
~ FBI
“frickin bisexual indians”
~ Al Gore
“Fuckin big idiot”
~ a toaster
“I'M NOT IN THE FBI!”
~ Spatz on the FBI
“The FBI ensures you it was just a blimp”
~ FBI
“In soviet Russia, FBI SCARED OF YOU!!”
“Frank Beats Indians!”
~ Evil Pizza on the FBI
“Sir, FBI...”
~ FBI on You
“Oh SHIT! Quick! dump the 'roids in the toilet.”
~ Gary Sheffield on whenever someone says FBI
“Vodka mixes good with KGB”
~ Boris Yeltsin on FBI
“Me like body 'specting!”
~ she-thing Delta Burke on her time in the FBI
FBI stands for Female Body Inspector, which is the largest sexual harassment enforcement agency in America, & also not an organization that you want to mess around with.
Contents |
[edit] Creation/Original Mission
The FBI (Female Body Inspector) is a crack government law-enforcement agency founded in 1492, by demons, in order to fight aliens. The alien invasion plot originally involved copying all the movies in America in order to collapse the movie-making industry and watching as the entertainment-reliant public shriveled and died. The aliens of course failed to realize that reality TV is the main source of entertainment in America. It contains many shows that show the amazing female figure. Nonetheless, the FBI was set up to maintain the public's ignorance of aliens. The first FBI Director, Harold Holt, was, in fact, an Alien. While this may seem contrary to the mission of the FBI, recall that they intend to keep aliens secret. The more he kept his kind hidden from ours, the fewer interviews with Ted Koppel he would be forced to do. Thus, under many layers of cosmetics, he managed to achieve some measure of normality. In fact, recent reconstructions of his death mask, found in his tomb at Gaza, suggest he may have looked more human than Michael Jackson, a somewhat less skilled alien, despite his more modern cosmetic options.
The FBI has continued to play a key role in human/alien relations. Indeed, Oscar Wilde (a well known agent of the FBI) was one of the first ambassadors to the alien's homeworld, famously describing it as "weird," and recalling that they "really, really like Ben Stiller." This is, in fact, one of the reasons he can be found in so many movies to this day.
[edit] Interesting Fact About FBI
- it now exists
- It has the power to make people bleed, just by making their poster boy, Mulder, pout.
- The letters 'FBI' are actually powerful runes that prevent anyone wearing it from having sexual congress with anyone, excepting their hand.
- The ruins are located in ancient Greece.
- They invented photography in 1861 so that they could arrest people for making child and adult pornography, beware of unsuspected visits from the 4 chan party van.
- They used Strawberry Alarm Clocks to wake people up.
- Much like the use of klondike 5 in America, the FBI are only seen on TV
- The FBI's Headquarters are actually located in caves in Afghanistan to trick all the "tarrists."
- FBI agents like the "tarrists" drive black vans with covered windows, and packed with high explosives. It's very inconspicuous.
[edit] Why was FBI made
The FBI was made to stop crime in America, especially the Mafia & Hannibal Lecter. Apparently, they were then eaten by said Hannibal Lector. It is unknown how they survived this atrocity, as Hannibal Lector never leaves survivors.
[edit] How to spot them
Stingy trucks that say things like Flowers By Irene or something else. They can also be seen driving black Suburbans & black Ford Crown Victorias. They are running about the world shooting people saying they are not members of the FBI but they actually are. To prove it yank hard on their face and it will fall of. {it works trust me}
[edit] Motto
- "Siempre Estúpidos"
- "Nous sommes des étrangers et nous l'aimons!"
- '"Shoot First Ask Questions Later"
[edit] FBA
The FBI has been said, to be, in fact, the 'FBA.' This means that the Federal Bureau of Investigation is actually the Federal Bureau of Australia.
This myth was only proven today and it has been realized that the term 'FBI' is actually an acute ploy to make their agents safer. The last letter of FBA was changed to an 'I,' and the meaning was changed. The location of the headquarters was also changed to draw any and all thoughts of the FBA off Australia, thus making it safe from terrorism.
Also discovered today is the fact that the FBA is protecting Australia from Terrorism by antagonizing the terrorists and making them attack America. Possible motives include Americans being jackasses, Australians hating Americans, and/or any combination of the two.
It was kinda funny, we had a BBQ that afternoon. lol Americans. - Kevin Rudd Head of 'FBA'
[edit] Other
Also a small Rock & Roll band that toured with Lee Harvey Oswald, and a very popular slang term meaning "Feel Barry's Ichtyosaurus"
Lastly, it is an acronym for dirty perverts/teenagers who think its funny, to be called "Female Body Inspectors"
[edit] Invader Zim's Side of the Story
According to Zim's big TV, the FBI that they were developed by a bunch of crazy people who fought aliens with corn. Not much is known about this theory and it is believed that they may be watching all of us through our toilets. Zim was questioned on this, but his response was a tad bit negative. "Filthy, filthy little worms! I'll lay eggs in your veins, or something."
[edit] External Links
- http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/topten/fugitives/fugitives.htm Ten Most Wanted
