FCC
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“ We fully believe in the right of free speech, and we're going to show our support by censoring anything that we don't like.”
~ The FCC on Free Speech
“ Oh yeah, I know all about the FCC. They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this”
~ Peter Griffin on The FCC
“They will make you take a tinkle when you want to take a piss”
Federal Commission of Cusswords or FCC (also known as Fucking Cock Crammers, Freedom Control Coalition, Federal Censorship Commission, Fascist Communist Cocksuckers, Fucking Communication Cunts, faggoty cock-blocking clamfuckers, and Feminist Conversation Control), pronounced "FUCC", is the body responsible for the education of the United States populace in the correct use of profanity. Recent press releases indicate the FCC will change their name to the Ministry of Truth, which will go by the shorter name minitrue. The purpose of existence to get rid of every anime and heavy rock in the world.
Constant violators of FCC regulations are often taken away by men in black suits and sent to FCC Concentration Camps for brainwashing reeducation.
Public statements from the FCC regarding the constitutionality of their existence: "Yeah we're infringing on your right to free speech and what the fuck are you going to do about it?"
The current head of the FCC is George Carlin.
[edit] History
The FCC was created by the Use It Fucking Correctly, Shithead Act of 1802. When President Thomas Jefferson signed it into law, he declared he was "fucking pissed that people can't fucking use fucking profanity fucking correctly".
They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this: they will make you take a "tinkle" when you want to take a "piss", and they'll make you call "felatio" a "trouser friendly kiss". Here's a plain situation, there's no negotiation with the fellas at the freakin' FCC.
In 2313 the FCC was taken over by the Brawndo Corporation, which, along with their acquisition of the FDA, allowed them to say or do anything they wanted.
[edit] Example of FCC Regulation
A recent FCC communique to all radio and television stations contained the following advice:
- To whom it may concern,
- It is with growing concern that we at the FCC have learnt of inappropriate usage of the following words: bastard, shit, fuck, cunt, piss, Martha Stewart; and the concatenations "cocksucker", "Marthafucker", "asshole", "shitcock", "chickenspooge" and "antifreeze".
- Anyone found to be broadcasting these words inappropriately will face strict financial penalty. In particular, we draw your attention to the following guidelines:
- Bastard can only refer to fuckheads of the male gender
- Cocksucker can trip up the unwary leading them to pronounce it "Sockcooker" - avoid this pitfall by using simpler phraseology such as "giver of fellatio"
- When the word fuck appears in print be warned that a simple exchange of characters can lead to infringement of trademark
- All the above words in all grammatical forms can be utilised at any time to avoid staleness and repetition, for example, the phrase "Fuck off" can be replaced with "Martha Stewart's moist plum dumplings"
- As always we do remind you that if you have children amongst your audience please be sensible and ensure they grow up with the correct profanity habits,
- Now Fuck off,
- The FCC
- P.S. - Can somebody please tell us what the hell "clemen" means? It's driving us crazy!!
[edit] The Secrets of the FCC REVEALED!
Sorry, this was cencored by the FCC because it involves badness.
So yeah, most of those fuckers at the FCC are stoners and deserved to get fist fucked cause they censor lots of shit. Their secrets are that they're all addicted to and drugs and shit. I know a guys who works for them and they all get stoned and drunk and have dirty sexes with male giggalos, its a fucking ape fest down there!
