Fuck

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

(Redirected from FUCK)

This article needs to be fixed up.
Please rewrite or improve this article so that it is higher quality.
(peer review is available here)
If this page is not edited in 30 days we will club a baby seal.

I Call ‘em Like I See ‘em

“To fuck or not to fuck, that is the motherfucking question”

~ William Shakespeare on Fucking

Fuck, not to be confused with FCUK (or FKCU, or even FKUC for that matter), is a phrase commonly used to insult, but it actually means sex. Meaning, when a fucking person say's "fuck you", they mean to murder you through sexual intercourse. Or when they say "fuck off", they mean to have sexual intercourse with you in such a manner that you are thrust off a high area (such as a building, or cliff).

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Fuck.

The word "fuck" is derived from the ancient Hebrew phaahk meaning "to be in need of a woman". Nowadays, it has fucking many uses and has really soared in popularity in fucking non-English speaking nations due to the success of U.S, Australian and British television sexual exploits, particularly the series The Derryn Hinch Experience and "Let's Fuck Your Mother's Fuckhole".

1 Chemistry
2 "Making Fuck"
3 Origins
4 Acronym usage
5 Proper Usage
6 Rhyming words
7 See Also
8 External Links

[edit] Chemistry

Details of the chemical synthesis of FUCK. (Technical note: A tremendous burst of energy spouts from the tip of the molecule on the left after the reaction)

FUCK is an orgasmic isotope composed of Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon and Potassium, and is the basic component of the erotic acids fucitol, fucol, and fukugetin. It is purified from a number of raw ores such as fukalite and fornacite. There is some controversy in the extraction of FUCK from sodamite; some say that resulting FUCK is a bent isomer and excessively high in gayons. SEX (sodium ethyl xanthate) is a similar compound used extensively in mining FUCK. FUCK is also widely used in the drug Fukitol and Jammitin}} (reference). A molecule often seen in conjunction with FUCK is Fe₂Mg₅Si₈O₂₂(OH)₂.

[edit] "Making Fuck"

Fucking Russian Berserkers commonly sing traditional fucking folk songs about "making fuck". The lyrics are particularly eloquent (compared to regular Berserker music) as is summed up most clearly when the singer plaintively wails "My love for you is ticking clock, Berserker!". As one can see, the Berserker custom is to follow the verse with a cry of "Berserker!", proclaiming to all the world just who it is that is making fuck. The "big pile off shit movie" aka Clerks features the traditional song as a homage to the documentary's creator Kevin "Russian dancing bear" Smith.

[edit] Origins

The word Fuck was coined by Shakespeare in 1582 when he was writing the Comedy of Errors. Upon finishing the play he realized that he had only included sex in the plot and no death (immenent death, but not death itself.)While sex is not apparent in The Comedy of errors, Antipholous alludes to it when he wants to break down his wife Adrianna's "house" with his "staff". Upon realizing that he had only included "Le petit morie" in his play, and not "Big Death". Mr. Shakespeare exclaimed "Oh fuck! This is supposed to be a tragedy, but no one dies." Realizing his genius in discovering a new word, Shakespeare revised the Comedy of Errors to say "fuck" in place of sex. The word "Fuck" is used 1993 times in The Comedy of Errors. This is how "Fuck" came to be used in modern English.

In the TV was here.

Other forms of the word "fuck" have been coined by other literary geniuses, chiefly Oscar Wilde. In his only novel, The Ugly Ass Picture of Samuel L. Jackson, the main character, Samuel L. Jackson yells "I am tired of this motherfuckin picture getting more motherfuckin ugly." This is the first recorded use of "motherfucker."

Fuck is perhaps one of the most interesting and exciting words in the English language. Fuck is the one magical word which just by its sound can describe pleasure, pain, hate, and love. Fuck comes from the German word, "frikon".

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

   * Fuck can be used as a verb both transitive (he fucked her) and intransitive (she was fucked by him).
   * a active verb (he really gives a fuck),
   * a passive verb (she really doesn't give a fuck),
   * an adverb (she is fucking interested in him) and
   * a noun (she is a fine fuck).
   * an adjective (she is fucking beautiful).

As you can see there is a whole lot of real versatility with "fuck". It pops up everywhere. Besides its sexual connotation, this lovely word can be used to describe many situations:

   * GREETING - How the fuck are you?
   * FRAUD - I got fucked by that crook;
   * DISMAY - Oh, fuck it!;
   * TROUBLE - I'm fucked now!;
   * CONFUSION - What the fuck?!;
   * AGGRESSION - "Fuck you!";
   * DISGUST - "Fuck me"
   * DESPAIR - Fucked again!;
   * PHILOSOPHY - "Who gives a fuck?"
   * INCOMPETENCE - "He's a real fuck-off";
   * DISPLEASURE - "What the fuck is going on here?"
   * NUMEROLOGY - "Sixty-fuckin'-nine";
   * LOST - "Where the fuck are we?"
   * DISBELIEF - "Unfuckingbelievable
   * RETALIATION - Up your fucking ass!"
   * REBELLION - Fuck it!;
   * DISPLEASURE - What the fuck's going on?;
   * SATISFACTION - fuck me again!

Also as:

   * DESCRIPTIVE ANATOMY - "He's a fuckin' asshole!"
   * TO TELL TIME - "It's six-fucking-thirty."
   * PREDICTION - "Well, I'll be fucked!"
   * A POLITICAL STATEMENT - "Fuck Washington"
   * INCESTUOUS - "Motherfucker"
   * A PUT DOWN - "Fuck off, buster!"
   * ALL ENCOMPASSING - "Fuck 'em all!"
   * GOVERNMENTAL AFFAIRS - "Fuck the IRS"
   * A POKER HAND- "A royal fuck"
   * TO START A RELATIONSHIP - "Let's fuck now!"
   * AS AN ACCEPTANCE - "Fuckin' eh!"
   * ENJOYMENT - "Fuckin' Wow!" "
   * A CLOSING - "Fuckingly yours".
   * MATERNAL - "Motherfucker"
   * POLITICAL - Fuck Clinton!!

Never forget the quotes of some famous people in our history and in the present:

   * Michelangelo: "You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling"
   * George Custer: Where did all these Fucking indians come from?
   * Einstein: "Any fucker can understand that"
   * Mayor of Hiroshima: What the fuck was that?
   * Heidi Fleuss: Fuck these celebrities!
   * Mayor Richard Daley: Fuck the heat - - Chicago IL
   * John Wayne: "Fuck death and the lung cancer he rode in on."
   * Bill Clinton: What the fuck's this inhaling thing?
   * Oliver North: You're all fucking liars!
   * Sean PennFuck: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck etc.
   * Eddie Murphy: Fuck you, Fuck you, and Fuck you. Who's next?
   * Jack Nicholas: Fuck this for a lark, 1995 British Open

And last but not least, the immortal words of the captain of the Titanic, who said "Full speed ahead and fuck the iceberg" and five minutes later said "Where is all this fucking water coming from?

The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say "FUCK"? Use fuck in your daily speech proudly. Fuck adds prestige to any conversextion. Put this colorful four letter word to work for you. Today tell someone you know "fuck you" ... or "Let's fuck!"

This is a disclaimer. We know the origin of the word FUCK. When the puritans settled what is now Salem, they had this issue about pre-marital sex, they didn't approve of it. Not that it should matter to anybody except the two or three etc people are involved in in the privacy of their own home. Well these butt-inskies decided that sex should be a crime, and orgasms should be outlawed. Strange, how they thought they had the right to suppress one of God's greatest gifts while doing this in the name of God. Well If two people were caught in the act of having sex or even thinking about having sex they were brought to trial.

If they were found guilty the crime they were committed of was "For Under Carnal Knowledge". They were put in the stockades and their crime was also carved in a piece of wood and placed over their heads. This was before the printing press or even before Black and Decker and God forbid Craftsman power tools (I like Craftsmans tools, even my chain saw is Craftsman). So all carving in wood had to be done not only by hand, but with handmade tools. Since they couldn't run over to England or Germany very easily, they didn't have any airplanes yet either, they had to try to conserve their tools and time. Just imagine carving the whole thing out when they could be out looking for young lovers to lock up or witches to burn at the stake. So they invented the acronym, which is a word or letter abbreviations for longer phrases. So if you were caught fucking around, and found guilty, you had the word F.U.C.K placed over your head while you spent time in the stockades.

[edit] Acronym usage

The entrance of Leonard Carlo's tavern in Colorado Springs, a billboard sign saying NO FUCKING PUBLIC RESTROOMS OR PAY PHONES. Not that this guy could stop himself.

FUCK means

Fornication Under (the) Consent (of the) King
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
For Using Carnal Knowledge
Federal University of Covington, Kentucky
Federal University of Central Kentucky

Example acronym for the word fuck. Is that where you're going?

Federal University of Central Kansas
The Finnish University of Chemistry and Kinesiology"
The Free Union of Cardinals of Koligrand
Fear(the)Ugly Crappy Kangaroo
The Friendly Universal Caring Kind (a real fucking band from Fucktoona, Fucksylvania!)
Friendship Unity Caring and Kindness
The Fairfield union charging Knights my home school
Friends University of Central Kansas
Federational Unitarian Church of Kentucky
Firmingham University of Christian Knights

[edit] Proper Usage

The product of two ugly fucks that fucked.

“I'VE HAD ENOUGH WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING LISTS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PAGE!”

~ Samuel L Jackson on Lists on a Page

Its versatility as a word is rarely seen in the common lexicon. It can be used as a noun:

"Damn! That fuck got away!"

As both a prefix and a suffix to a noun:

"Hey, fuckface, are you up for a dogfuck?"

As a verb:

"That dog is hot; I'd fuck her like I fucked your mom!"

In Russian Reversal:

"In Soviet Russia, goat fucks YOU!!"

As an adjective:

"That fucking Protestant won't get away with it." but they will because that how it is.

As a transitive verb:

"John fucks Shirley." and she screams.

As an intransitive verb:

"Shirley fucks." a lot, believe me.

As a place/name:

"Oh, I feel so nice in my Fuck" yes- very comfy...

As a way to command:

"Go eat shit fuckers. actually pretty tasty...

As a proper noun:

"I am Fuck! Fuck of the Mountain!" good for you

As an adverb:

"Hermes traipsed fuckfully through the leafy glade."

As an indefinite pronomina:

"How many countrys in EU do you know? Man, I don't know fuck!"

An excellent interjection between syllables (also known as an "expletive infix"):

"Abso-fucking-lutely not. That's de-fucking-licous"

As a substitute for song lyrics you can't remember:

"Billie Fuck fuck not my lover, she's just a fuck who fuck that I fuck the fuck. But fuck in the fuck fuck fuck donkey."

As a Holy Word:

"Holy Fuck!"

As a Character:

"I am fuckholeio. I need penis for my bunghole" (Beavis likes it anal, and no one knows why)

As an Interjection

"Fuck! That hurts!

As almost every word in a sentence

"Fuck the fucking fuckers fucking the fuck off.'" also, why the fuck is the fucking dogfuck fucking is your fucking fuck?

Dismissal "Why don't you go outside an play Hide-and-go-Fuck-yourself"

Greetings "Who the fuck are you?"

Dismay "Fuck it."

Trouble "I'm fucked."

Aggression "Fuck you!!!"

Demand "Fuck me!!!"

Confusion "What the fuck...?"

Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking thing."

Incompetence "He fucks up everything."

Confusion "What the fuck is going on?"

Lost "Where the fuck are we? In the middle of fucking nowhere!"

Drunk "Where the fuck am I?"/"Who the fuck am I?"/"What the fuck am I doing?"/"What the fuck did I just do?!"/"...and why the fuck do I have the lyrics to a song called Lambo-Lambo stuck in my head?!"

Lust "I'll fuck you with a rake." then actually rake, because things need to get done.

Disbelief "Unbe-fucking-lievable!!!"

More Disbelief "In-fucking-credible"

Anger "Who the fuck fucked me?"

Pain "Oh, FUCK!"

Pleasure "Oh, FUCK!"

Starting a relationship "Let's fuck now!" and then get AIDS

Quickly ending the relationship you just started: "Fuck..." found out you had AIDS didn't ya?

Sincerity "I fucking love Kamchatka."

Ignorance "Who the fuck is Alice?"

A fucking cute kitten that has absolutely nothing to do with this article. Here, cute wittuw kitty!

Hate "You Fuck!"

A poker hand "A Royal Fuck."

Denial "I didn't fucking do it."

Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."

Apathy "Who gives a fuck?"

Carelessness "Fuck that."

Resignation "Oh fuck it."

Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here!"

Directions "Fuck off."

Incestuous "Mother Fucker."

I have a headache "Go fuck yourself."

Fatigue "I'm absolutely fucked."

Nautical "Fuck the torpedos!"

Reproach "You fucking killed™ me"

Insanity "I'm fucked up, man."

Parachute malfunctions "FUCK."

In Conjunction with 'god'. "Oh My Fucking God!"

Prayer "Oh my fucking God!"

Being stabbed "Oh my fucking God!"

Being raped by an invisible man "Oh my fucking God!"

Being raped by an invisble woman "Oh My Fucking GOD! YES!"

Winning the Lottery "Oh My Fucking God!"

Losing the Lottery "Oh My Fucking God!" (especially if you spent your last few bucks on a ticket, you penniless loser)

brevity "fuck"

AAAAAAA "AAAAAAA"

Memory Loss "Where's my fucking keys!"

Anger "Jesus fucking christ!"

Demand "Get the fuck out!"

Oscar Wilde References "Fuck me up the ass, my dear!"

Thought "What's the fucking answer!?!"

Answer to a Question "Ontop of the fucking fridge!"

Rebel "Fuck the world!"

Derrogatory Statement "You team-killing fucktard!"

General Usage "Fuck."

"fuck" is now portable, you can put it in your pocket and use it on the go.

"Fuck" makes great holiday gifts, give it to your dog.

Giant freaky ass spider sent from hell to bite you found in your sink "Oh Shit, Fuck that Shit!"

Astonishment "What a shitful load of fuck??!"

Abdul - YOU KICKED MY FUCKING DOG

Holy dog-continents! I trapped my head in the fucking commode!

Axl Rose - "do you know where the fuck you are?"

[edit] Rhyming words

Buck, chuck, Chuck, duck, helium, huck,ococococococoococococococuck luck, muck, puck, suck, ruck, stuck, struck, tuck, truck, yuck, goerge, orange and gdubabonguchuck, all rhymes with fuck.

In hockey: "Where's the thing that rhymes with a swear word?" or "Where's the thing that you use in hockey, rhymes with a swear word?" or "Where's the thing that you use in hockey, rhymes with a F-word?" or simply "Where's the thing that rhymes with a bad word?"

Driving, buying or renting a vehicle other than a car: "I need a vehicle that rhymes with a swear word" or "I need a vehicle that rhymes with the F-word" or simply "I need a vehicle that rhymes with a bad word"

A persons who's name is Chuck: "Where's the guy that rhymes with a swear word" or "Where's the guy that rhymes with a F-word" or "Where's the guy that rhymes with a bad word" and other usage as "Can I talk to a guy that rhymes with a swear word?" or "Can I talk to a guy that rhymes with the F-word?" or simply "Can I talk to a guy that rhymes with a bad word?".

Going fishing, sailing or hiking in the lake: "Take a look at the animal that rhymes with a swear word!" or "Take a look at the animal that rhymes with the F-word!" or "Take a look at the animal that rhymes with a bad word!" and "Can I take a look at the animal that rhymes with a swear word, (any person)?" or "Can I take a look at the animal that rhymes with the F-word, (any person)?" or "Can I take a look at the animal that rhymes with a or word, (any person)?", etc.

WFT?