Factory Factory

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“I love huffable kittens”

~ Coolguy92 on the Factory Factory.

“OH NOES! IT'S TEH FACTORY FACTORY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!”

~ Teh roboot on the Factory Factory

“The Factory Factory made my dog! Now he's mad...”

~ Little Girl on the Factory Factory.

“Wood tastes like funny.”

~ The Retard on the Factory Factory.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?”

~ The Retard Retard on The Retard.

“If the Factory Factory makes factories, does that mean the Factory Factory Factory made the Factory Factory?”

~ Salad Fork on Factory Factory.

“Of course not, you idiot.”

~ Lyrrad on Salad Fork.

“I'm so confused....”

~ Confusion on Factory Factory.

“Watch more Walker Texas Ranger”

~ Chuck Norris on nothing in particular

The Factory Factory is a factory with workers who create factories with their bare hands (or actual bears, if they could afford it).

You may have wanted to search 'Fantasy Factory' and not even know it, but there's no article called 'Fantasy Factory' so you just wasted 7 seconds reading this. Good day!

1 History
2 Factorium
3 The truth about the Factory Factory
4 Frank
5 Why are you even reading this?

[edit] History

The Factory Factory was founded in 1928 by Stalin when he could not find a good reason to have the Five Year Plan. The purpose of this factory was to make many factories as soon as possible with only a small amounts of deaths (This was of course after the pickle famine of '24). Many workers refused to work in such a place, only to be shot or pulled from their ears after.

[edit] The first 5 years

The first five years were not well. It was hard to actually fit a factory inside a factory. As a result, the following people who mentioned this had been shot. If the gun was out of bullets, then it was thrown at the worker. And it hurt. A LOT!

Stalin's quotas were considered too high by many, but because of the fear of being killed or sentenced to work on 'Mega Man X 476' no one would say a word. Those who would actually complain were never heard from again, usually to be replaced by a clone or a robot.

"50 factories in a month!? We can only make fiftee- GAH!......... I love working here!"

This image has been used too many times...

Although this may have been resolved by having the workers working twice as hard, everybody wanted to do things the hard way (as always). In order to get a day off, the workers would lie to Stalin about factory rates, saying that the quota had been met. Unfortunately for the consumers there were not 50 factories but merely 45 shacks. Sometimes there would be outhouses instead. With the extra time that they had, workers began to sleep, eat, play poker and go to the Black Market to buy tootsie rolls.

When Stalin had heard about this, his replay was:

"Get a tootsie roll for me, too!"

[edit] The Hiatus

With the decline of factory needs in the Soviet Union, the factory was put on hiatus for several years before being put back on the air in 1937.

[edit] 1937-1939

With the factory up and running, many of the unemployed were sent back to work, all of them with their heads down low and groaning softly. Now that technology had been settled in, production was even harder since none of the workers knew how to work 'Windows 30'. With this, the Luddites began to rise up from their basements in Britain and help the people fight against the blue-screened menace. This has been known as 'The Crappy System War', which is not recorded in any books, museums or anywhere on the internet.

Will Smith's clothes for the movie based on the design of Stalin's suit. Snazzy!

A film has been made to reenact the war. The film was called 'i, Robot' with Will Smith playing as Black Stalin. Many changes were done to the film, but over-all the film seemed to fit the perfect description of the war.

When the war ended, the factory had been shut down again in order to remove anyone homeless who were hiding in the attic of the factory. Luckily, all they found was Karl Marx and Bill Gates, who had planned the war for over a year under Bill Gates desk, which had a blanket over the opening, with comic books and a flashlight. It's better if we don't know the truth.

[edit] World War 2

With the sudden appearance of World War 2, The Soviet Union agreed to join Hitler and the German army, as it was the best thing to do considering the fact that half of the country was destroyed because of 'The Crappy System War'. The Factory Factory at this time was not used to create more factories, but to make weapons for the troops. The workers managed to get out of this one by offering Tootsie Rolls instead, in which Stalin replied:

"MY TOOTSIE ROLLS! ALL MINE!!! NOW GET BACK TO WORK BEFORE I ENJOY THE DELICIOUS SENSATION OF CHOCOLATE!!!"

When Hitler betrayed Stalin, it was a time for desperate measures. The workers were back to making Factories again, but not for just having factories. The factories were piled on top of each other, only to be pushed down on top of the German troops, thus ending the war.

[edit] 1946-1970

Bill Gates was offered another chance when he introduced the Walls, which was an expansion to Windows 65. After 24 hours of immense training (which included use of the mouse and a lot of... websites... heh heh...), the factory was now at its full potential and was prepared for anything!

Then Stalin died and everything went to pieces.

Audience: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Suddenly, with a stroke of the T.V. remote, Dr. Phil had appeared to help the factory again. Dr. Phil's plan included making diet books that make no sense and DVDs of his latest episodes (which did not sell well, since DVDs had not been invented yet). Until the 1960's, the factory was a dud. It was declared as the world's largest paperweight and received a reward of a million dollars, making the factory up and running again...

... For five seconds. All of the money for the factory had been spent on Archie Comics, the most popular comic in Russia during that time, and Doctor Phil was ruined again so he began focusing on his Television Career. In fact, many of his skills come from the experiences he had after being ruined (He understands you. He's been there).

Audience: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

[edit] 1970-maybe next Sunday

The factory was torn down and replaced with a McDonald's, starting the obesity crises of today. I bet that they want the factory now, huh?

McDonald's commemorates the Factory Factory with their food, each one designed to show how bad those greasy shacks really were.

And now you know the rest of the story. Now get out of my house!

[edit] Factorium

The Factory Factory was not made of iron, steel, or any kind of metal. The Factory Factory was made of an element called factorium, which is a liquid, like toilet water. In fact, everything in life is made of factorium. You, me, your aunt, your uncle, that thing that's growing on your face. It's all made of factorium. In fact, the next Pokemon game will be 'Pokemon Factorium'. Resistance is futile. Accept factorium into your life. Now!

"Factorium saved my babies life!"

Factorium on the table of elements.

Image:Blank

Oh, you'd like an image here, wouldn't you?

[edit] The truth about the Factory Factory

Recent studies have shown that the Factory Factory not only made factories, but they also made chest hair in their spare time for the people who really needed it. Unfortunately, the hair was too expensive for anyone to afford so they had to sell it to Dr. Phil. Why doesn't he have hair on his head now? You tell me...

The Factory Factory made all sorts of items that were too crappy to be around today, such as: