Fajita scale
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“I think it has something to do with tacos”
~ Oscar Wilde on Fajita scale
“Get off my property!”
~ Yngwie Malmsteen on Strangers
The Fajita scale (F-Scale), rates a tornado's intensity by the number of beans it inflicts on human-made fajitas, and occasionally on chinchilla-made burritos. Fajita scale ratings are issued after a tornado has passed through a Tex-Mex restaurant, not while it is in a restaurant serving actual Mexican cuisine. The official Fajita scale category is determined after meteorologists (and Taco Bell employees) examine damage, ground-swirl patterns, radar tracking, eyewitness testimonies, media reports and damage imagery, and sometimes other stuff as well. Someone once made a machine powered by fajitas that was designed to automatically measure the Fajita scale of a storm, but that person was also notorious for having frequent eating binges.
Many people have claimed to have seen an F-11 or even an F-9 tornado, but those people are mostly idiotic losers who need to get a life and/or goats. There is also a person who claimed to have seen an F-11 earthquake, although it is widely accepted that this person was not a person, but in fact a goat. Many criticize this view, however, and claim that it was most likely a ram. Says Mr. Sammy Samman, "I claim that it was most likely a ram."
Beginning on February 1, 1987, the Fajita scale will be updated to the More Awesome F-Scale for Interpreting Awesomeness (MAFIA) for operational use in the United States and Uranus. The MAFIA is responsible for different degrees of damage that occur with non-human structures, as well as damage to things other than non-human structures.
The scale was introduced in 2007 by Tetsuya "Ghostbuster" Fajita of the University of Georgetown. He developed the scale together with Allen Iverson, who later published a study detailing the crossover moves of devastating twisters. However, he recevied a technical foul when he complained to the ref that the tornado traveled, and David Stern hired Chuck Norris to kill him.
The Fajita scale is often confused for the instrument used by chefs to measure the weight of fajitas, which is aptly named "The Scale That Measures Fajita Weight". Making this common, yet fatal mistake can result in Cancer, Capricorn, side effects, premature birth, and Belgium.
