Unscripts:Faris Badwan's Day Off
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Faris Badwan's Day Off is a cult comedy film, directed by Tim Burton, in 1986. It told the story of a serendipitous young Nu Graver who decided one day to skip school and go and have fun, in unbelievably lucky ways.
| Characters |
|---|
| Faris Badwan - Protagonistic Goth Rock Half Palestinian |
| Sheena Badwan - Faris' sister who feels jealous of how Faris always get's what he wants |
| Joshua Third - Faris' best friend who spends most of the film in a coma. As is clearly apparent in the video (left), in which he is playing bass. |
| Jack the Ripper - Evil Dean of UCL who wishes to take Faris back to class to study social sciences, or whatever the fuck he studies. |
| Faris' mum - Faris' Mother |
| Faris' dad - Faris' Father |
Contents |
[edit] Scene 1, Faris' Bedroom
Faris is in bed, surrounded by parents, doting on him
Faris' Mum - He's awake and breathing, but his eyes are sunken
Faris' Dad - My character has no personality.
Faris' Mum - Are you OK Faris?
Faris - I'm enamoured with disease, hacking desperately in a sea of appendages.
Faris' Mum - He's delirious, you'd better stay in bed Faris.
Faris - NO, I have to do a test to get into college and... SCREAM!
Faris' Mum - Oh, Faris, you're so sweet.
(parents leave, Faris talks to camera)
Faris - Life moves fast, no longer, I wish my family DEAD! Dreading the family meal, I'm sneaking away for a day.
Sheena comes in
Sheena - He's not ill! I can't believe you believe him!
[edit] Scene 2, Tomethy's bedroom
Room is strewn with gloves and aspirin, Tomethy lies in a pile of kittens, overlooked by a huge portrait of Einstein
Joshua - (To phone) No Faris, I cannot perform a set atop a float today... Why? Because Floats are only readily available in american films, and we are from London, and I am a physicist so I should be revising or something. Or making an effects pedal.
Faris - (To Camera) That guy is so uptight, that if you gave him a part in a band, he would stand perfectly still whilst playing! Plus he's a physicist so he's a virgin. And his only real skill is making a noise with his mouth by flicking his cheek, which until you saw this film, you thought only you could do. (To phone) Get up now, and then I will take your dad's car and drive it to town, and we will sing!
Joshua - OK Faris, but we'd better not do anything at all. I just did my hair, it took four hours and i don't want it damaged.
Faris - That's no way to live, Joshua, you wish your family dead! (To Camera) I imagined myself, Hacking desperately in a sea of appendages, forwards backwards, freeing myself like a butcher. felling the mass of bone and sinew, running slowly down the front of my body... AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! But basically, I think he's killing himself, when he should be more like me, a lazy cheeky, rrogant dick, who supposedly is an inspiration, but will probably be a career shelf stacker, or CEO of a large company, or scrounging off my parents.
[edit] Scene 3, New York, on a float
Faris - I want to dedicate this song to a special friend of mine, who is an anal retentive, and who is a 30 year old playing a 17 year old, and whose life is more realistic than mine. (Faris mimes Sheena is a parasite, while a giant strobe-light attacks the city. Enter Sheena, who climbs aboard the float, and exposes herself to the crowd, having just taken some kind of narcotic she was given by Charlie Sheen)
[edit] See also
