Fidel Castro's Hurricane Cannon
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Developed by Fidel Castro, lifelong president of both Cuba and the Britney Spears fanclub, the Hurricane Cannon is deployed on the coast of Cuba and can shoot Category 49 hurricanes at any coastal US City.
[edit] Weapon of Meterological Destruction
The use of hurricanes as an instrument of warfare is nothing new. Frequently documented incidents in the middle ages reveal the use of hurricanes by the Visigoths against enemy ships and coastal facilities in nearby Switzerland. As recently as 1987, the French deployed a medium-range hurricane against South-East England in revenge for being defeated in the Cricket world cup.
The Japanese also used a hurricane (called in typhoon in Japan) to foil a Mongol invasion, though later attempts to reproduce the typhoon during WWII only resulted in ugly planes called kamikazes.
[edit] List of Attacks
The following targets have been attacked.
- New Orleans - by Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Gustav
- Houston - by Hurricane Rita and Hurricane Ike
- The state of Florida - by Hurricane Wilma, Hurricane Ivan, Hurricane Dennis, Hurricane Andrew, and 2673245 other hurricanes.
[edit] Defence
The best defence is to do nothing, or ideally not to live in a hut made of Mardi Gras beads below sea level in a hurricane zone. Pooping on the hurricanes does not seem to discourage them or cause them to change course or anything.
However, due to alphabetical constraints, there are no more than four sixty-five infinity major storms or hurricanes left this season, so the worst of the 2008 Hurricane Offensive may now be over.
