Fireworks
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[edit] History of fireworks
Fireworks is the art of packing a thin paper bag full over uber-dangerous explosives, and igniting them so that they travel at screamin' speeds at (hopefully) the nerd in big glasses, or the fag that sneaks off with your girlfriend. The dangerous explosives make sure that the wooden shards embed themselves deep into the skin of your victim and leave him very pissed off and scarred for life.
NOTE: Firing fireworks at your parents as afun idea but it seriously endangers your pocket money, and your dad will definitely go phsyco.
[edit] Modern uses of fireworks
1.Waking up someone who sleeps (too) soundly with pain and sound maximised. 2.Threatening helpless kids to give you money their money. 3.unfashionable scars that. 4.Blasting a side off someone's face so they look...um...prettier? 5.There are many more but I'm cannot give a shit about who reads them so I'm fuckin off
[edit] Safety
Many children are ignorant in the way of explosives. It is best to teach them what and what not to burn early on, so that it becomes engraved into their fragile little minds early on. Public Schools have attempted to educate children in this subject by making a series of public service announcements in which a usually colorful character dances and sings about how fireworks are bad, and how they can be dangerous. This is entirely beside the point, fireworks were meant to be dangerous in the first place. When you see the flash, don't bother ducking, no matter what that little turtle said to you, you're pretty much screwed.
[edit] Tips on fireworks
To make it more fun, soak your victim in petrol!
