Foam

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“It's, um, well it's, um, very, um, what?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Foam

“Heh heh, foamy.”

~ George W. Bush on Foam

A strange, fluffy substance with many uses such as shaving, hair styling, and eating. It is also often described as a cream.

[edit] Creation

There are many theories as to when and how foam came into being, but the most popular is that it was created by Jesus, some time in the 16th century. It is thought that the messiah created foam to throw at people from rooftops. He may have also created foam for use in footballs with later purposes involving fornication.

A second, less popular theory is that foam is in fact an ultra intelligent form of alien life, which came to earth and created the dinosaurs to construct a doomsday machine. Unfortunately for the foam, dinosaurs have no way in which to build doomsday machines, having incredibly small brains. Or you have Rabies,you jackass!

[edit] Foam in the Modern Day World

Today, foam is most often used as a form entertainment, whether it be feeding it to goats, or using it to coat chairs and thus annoy those who sit on it. It has also been used by NASA as an experimental Space Shuttle insulation, however early tests met with failure, the head of the project being quoted as saying "What the hell were we thinking, it doesn't even make sense."

[edit] Famous Foam

Foam, in its many forms, has appeared in such popular TV shows as Dr Who, The Simpsons and Star Trek, although no one can be bothered to check which episode, 'cause there's just so damn many. see also: Bo Derek

[edit] Foam Subspecies

Lately, a solid form of Foam has been showing up around the globe. Differing to styrofoam, Solid Foam is a soft, malleable product most often used in packaging. Some believe it to be the result of government experiments trying to change the genetic makeup of foam to create an ultimate weapon.