Foamy

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“I greatly admire the Squirrelliness of His Squirrelliness”

~ Oscar Wilde on Foamy

“He's fuckin' pissed!”

~ Captain Obvious on Foamy

“I have a sudden urge to say the word FUCK!”

~ Blues on being foamy for a few seconds

His Squirrelliness, Foamy

His Squirrelliness, Your Lord and Master; Pope of the Alightly Church of Foamy, Leader of the Foaminian Cult, Warlock High Priest in Squirrel Society, Invoker of Squirrelly Wrath, Possessor of a Bushy Tail, Inventor of Yesterday Mail, Sworn Enemy of the Evil Dr. Fatkins & High Lord Defender of Carbohydrates, Supreme Grandmaster of Bitching & Ranting, Crusader against Starshmuck's & Other Fascist Coffee Houses, & Renown Squirrely Philospher, Foamy is most assuredly the coolest and wisest Squirrel ever to exist anywhere. And anyone who says otherwise will incure his Squirrelly Wrath.

Foamy's many accomplishments include invoking Squirrelly Wrath, rendering himself immune to our human laws by his Squirrelly Nature, inventing Yesterday Mail, casting out the deadly moose which possessed Germaine via his patented Demon-Be-Gone ritual, ranting, complaining, bitching, pophesizing of shoving a lollypop up Germaine's butt, establishing the Foaminian Cult, selling Germaine's used underwear on the internet, denouncing the Evil Dr Fatkins and his Carb hating diet, outliving the said Evil Dr. Fatkins, bitching some more, amassing 11 million dollars in stolen Nazi gold, growing a bushy tail, being the coolest Squirrel ever to exist, threatening to start shoving a lollypop up Germaine's butt, denouncing Germaine as a fat bastard, and doing a bit more bitching.

In addition to these many glorious achievements, Foamy is also the sole main character of the Neurotically Yours cartoon, meaning he is the only character whose appearance matters.

1 The Almighty Church of Foamy
2 Squirrelly Dogmas
3 Squirrelly Wisdom
4 Squirrelly Pr0n
5 See Also

[edit] The Almighty Church of Foamy

In 2003, Foamy founded the the Almighty Church of Foamy and has served as Pope of the said church ever since. The membership in the church has been estimated from "three rather freakish looking squirrels" to "most of America", depending on the source of the information. The Almighty Church of Foamy is well known for is patented "Demon Begone Ritual", a form of exorcism.

[edit] Squirrelly Dogmas

The Evil Doctor Fatkins (not be confused with Dr. Atkins) before he died of obesity. The sworn enemy of Foamy.

It is generally believed that the Fominian Creed, the confessional formula of the Almighty Church of Foamy, is the best epitome of the Squirrelly teaching of the Foaminian church. It is as follows:

I believe in Foamy the Squirrel Almighty,

creator of all things Squirrely.

And is Squirelly Wrath and Lordship,

Which was invocked against Germaine,

Resulted in the burning of the Foamy Fanmail,

Driveth out inner demons via the "Demon Begone Ritual",

And shall smite the Evil Doctor Fatkins in the last day.

At 4:30 a.m. he drove himself unto the bagel shop,

Bought his own bagel,

Shoved a lollipop up Germaine's butt,

And he sold it on ebay for several hundred dollars.

I believe in his holy Squirrelliness,

The Holy Fominian Church,

The eating of carbs,

The power of Yesterday Mail,

The forgivenness of stupid people,

And the Squirrel everlasting.

Amen.

[edit] Squirrelly Wisdom

Foamy's Squirrelly wisdom has touched innumerable subjects, and has proven itself to be of great value. Some examples include:

Warning: following Foamy's advice may result in damage to private property, personal injury, or death.

“ Go kill yourself! ”

~ Foamy on his answer to everything.

“ Go kill yourself, twice, you carb counting bastard. ”

~ Foamy on Stupid People who follow the Evil Dr. Fatkins.

“ Stop eating, you Fat Bastard!”

~ Foamy on obesity

“ Do it now, or face my Squirrelly Wrath! I do have Squirrelly Wrath you know, its one of my hidden nature powers. ”

~ Foamy on his Most Squirrelly of Squirrelly Wrath.

“ Give me money! ”

~ Foamy on charity

“ Any woman with her nipples pierced is a dam whore, a Dam Whore! ”

~ Foamy on Germaine's whoredom

“ You got any nuts? ”

~ Foamy on mocking Germaine's transgenderedness

“ WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ”

~ Foamy on outsourcing

[edit] Squirrelly Pr0n

Unlike Germaine, who is always wearing some clothing, Foamy is always drawn compeletely naked, as are Pilz-E, Bentley, and the Hatta. Foamy's numerous pr0n movies include:

Foamy and Germaine in Squirrels Gone Wilde VI, Hot Shemale Action

Squirrels Gone Wilde, starring Foamy and Pilz-E, directed by Oscar Wilde, widely believed to be best selling Squirrel porno ever.

Squirrels Gone Wilde II, Interracial Squirrelly Action, starring Foamy, Bentley, and the Hatta, also directed by Oscar Wilde

Squirrels Gone Wilde III, Wilde Squirrelly Action, starring Foamy, Bentley, Pilz-E, and Oscar Wilde. This is the first of the series in which Wilde acted in, although he directed the earlier ones.

Squirrels Gone Wilde IV, Wilde Squirrelly Hamstering, starring Foamy, Pilz-E, the Hatta, and Oscar Wilde. Pilz-E died in this porno during a most perverse act, but was re-incarnated via a drug side effect.

Squirrels Gone Wilde V, More Wilde Squirrelly Action, starring Foamy, Bently, the Hatta, and Oscar Wilde. Sales of this film were not as good as earlier ones, probably because it was almost a repeat of Squirrels Gone Wilde III.

Squirrels Gone Wilde VI, Hot Shemale Action, starring Foamy, Oscar Wilde, and Germaine, co-directed by Oscar Wilde and Foamy. This film had the worst sales of the entire series. It is often suggested that many male viewers were intimidated by Germaine's 11 inch penis and three testicles.

Squirrels Gone Wilde VII, No More Giant Shemale Penises, starring Foamy, Pilz-E, the Hatta, and Oscar Wilde. The last of the Squirrels Gone Wilde series. Sales were better than the last movie, but did not fully recover.

In addition, Foamy and Germaine both have webcams on numerous pr0n sites.