Foo Fighters

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“Let's fight some Foos!”

~ Mr T on Foo Fighters

“The band is just fantastic, yes I really think that's true! Oh, by the way, which one's Foo?”

~ Roger Waters on Foo Fighters

“I'M SO FUCKING SUPREME AT PAINTBALL!!! JUST WATCH 'THE PRETENDER'!!!”

~ Dave Grohl on Dave Grohl

“NOOOOOOOO!!! HE'S TO POWERFUL!!!!!!”

~ God on Dave Grohl

Foo Fighters

Biographical information
Homeworld	Area 51, Canada
Physical description
Species	Rock, Kung Fu
Gender	Male
Height	2ft
Hair color	Yes
Eye color	Yes
Chronological and political information
Era(s)	1990s, 2000s
Affiliation	Yes

[Source]

The Kung Foo Fighters (1995 - 2022) were an authentic, yet classified, Seattle-based Kung Fu supergroup, who were up until 2022, the United States' only form of national defense, aimed at fighting "foos". The group, which was comprised of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Steven Seagal (not to be confused with the martial-arts actors of the same names), was formed by the NSA and for ten years provided national security in the form of heel-kicks, upper-cuts, and traffic tickets.

Unfortunately, after six years of active duty, the group was disbanded in late 2022 after what the White House calls was "due to the group's inability to assimilate to Western culture and decide which oriental restaurant to eat at". That, and they died in a plane crash. They are considered to be the government's biggest waste of money since the "state" of Wyoming joined the Union in 1890.

1 Origins

[edit] Origins

After realizing the inadequecies of contemporary methods of national defense, President Billiam Clinton, taking advice from his cabinet, disbanded the national defense force which had been established by Ronald Reagan in 1987, known as NIRVANA (National Intelligence, Recon, Vitality, Apples, and Neuroplastyrobberscoffenhagen Agency) for the sole reason that NIRVANA chairman, Stephen K. Hayes, died in 1994 after realizing his roundhouse was no match for a shotgun blast.

Reforming the group, Clinton narrowed it down to four members, one of them being a former NIRVANA agent (Bruce Lee). Thus, the Foo Fighters were born. (Sadly Andrew Simeon did not make the cut.)

[edit] Members

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Foo Fighters.

The Members change every week based upon stool divination. The current members are Claudia Winkleman, Larry the Sausage, Crapola de Nana and a lorry driver from Wetherby.

God is known to have assumed that member Dave Grohl was married to Courtney Love (see the press conference transcripts of Courtnology for details). A psychic predicts that at Mr. Grohls funeral they will play "oops, she did it again". Ms. Love denies any accusations that she will perform a 'kurt' on her beloved "Grohly Wohl", as she calls him.

[edit] Discography

Poo Fighters EP (very rare... and smelly)
Foo Are You?
Kung Foo
The Coalition and The Porno
The Grohl Album
In Your Dishonor
Ungraceful Impacience
Foo by Foo
There Is Nothing Left To Foo
Fooyaa!!
Foo Fa Foof Fif Fofe Feefoofs?
Asian KungFoo Fighters Generation
Their latest album: Echoes, Noise, Impatience and Disgrace

[edit] Operations

During the Foo Fighters' six-year span of activity, they encountered and disbanded a number of terrorist organizations, including Queens of the Stone Age (an underground California Marxist cell formerly known as "Gamma Ray") and Tenacious D.

Unfortunately, most of their operations are still classified and cannot be discussed. In fact, nothing more is known of them. They all reportedly died in a horrible plain crash. Jet Li made the following public statement regarding his own death:

This is a call On this :Cold Day in the Sun, when i speak to the Best of You. i must sadly inform you that there IS No Way Back, Next Year i hope things will be different, or i may just have to Breakout and Learn to Fly. Anyway.: the skin and bones I have dedicated to the colour and shape of my glorious country. And in your honor, oh great nation, I have come to the blunt conclusion that there is nothing left to lose. One by one, I have endured. In times like these and throughout all my life I have felt that others have gotten the best of you, oh great nation. But you must learn to fly. You have learned to endure just like I have, and for that, you are my hero. Everlong.