Forum:BENSON CREATES FORUM TOPIC!

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Benson knows that Benson has been in and out of uncyc on a regular basis, and I don't stay for long (mostly because of the smell), but while silently lurking in the forums, Benson has noticed something: there are too many annoying noobs on uncyc now that hate me and troll my forum bashing Benson. All of you guys are too noobish to be doing that. When I was a kid, uncyc was a much friendlier place, and only the admins were assholes, as well as the occasional Nintendorules and also Benson himself, but that doesn't count. You noobs don't even know what you're complaining about. I was busy getting permabanned (twice, but I'm still here) when you guys had never even heard of uncyclopedia, and now you waltz into my forum and try to act like some hotshot uncyc veteran admin writer of teh month 3 featured articles (and counting!) comedic genius, well you're not, so stfu. The only people who should be complaining about Benson are the people who Benson has pissed off directly, and also most of the admins, mostly Codeiene. As much as the people who hate Benson for a real reason hate to admit it, Benson is a legend, Uncyclopedia's Grandest Noob, #2 on the slut list, permabanned twice, not one featured article but his own forum, and also the most modest user here. Benson, King of All Noobs, is issuing an old fashioned challenge to any of those users who don't even know who Benson is, but insist on coming over hear and bashing me. Benson hasn't added many people to his list lately.

References

Uncyclopedia vs Powershot, Flamewar of the Ages

Benson 20:18, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

I am not afraid to complain to Benson. As with everyone else, I don't care about your garbage, go away--Æ 20:20, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Modesty? Your modesty has a long way to go--Æ 20:21, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Benson is pleased to see that you have a sense of humour, and your ability to detect sarcasm is put to good use. Benson 20:26, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Benson must declare his personal belongings before returning to Uncyc once more. --Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 20:32, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

I totally agree. Benson should start training some of these noobs to be Better. Though Benson will always be Better than Them (and You), at least they'll be more interesting that way. • Spang • UotF | talk • 03:45, 17 Dec 2007

Hey guys

Benson's back. Again again. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:28, Dec 16

HEY, THAT'S MY GIG! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:52, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

You're here? Mr Mooses, you'll have to become more active to stay on top of these things. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:54, Dec 16

YAAAAY! IT'S BENSON!11111111 --THE 20:35, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Only permabanned twice?

I'm better than BENSON! (At being useless.) -- Kip teh Dip • Talk • Works • Faq • Vote in '08 • 20:49, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

DAMN! 5 times! That's impressive. Benson 21:04, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Alright, where's Cainad? This needs to go into that "Chronicles of BESNSON" thingymawhatsis. So, I wonder whether BENSON will ever pass Mhaille on the slut lists... Speaking of which, we need another slut list. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:10, Dec 16 - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:10, Dec 16

Ugh... *scratches* where's my damn pants... *hic* there they is... huh? What...

GODDAMMIT BENSON, stop doing noteworthy crap when I'm too hung over to write properly! Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Just lemme get some coff... GODDAMMIT, who drank all the coffee?!

There, are you happy?! Friggen' monkeys; that's what all of you are! Uuunnnng... my head... *thud* --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 04:47, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

I'm sick of BENSON, so i'm stealing his topic

(Bonner) (Talk) Dec 17, 16:16

I'm sick of Bonner not realizing that Benson is better than him, so I'm returning this Benson forum back to Benson, before Benson returns and takes it from Bonner's cold, dead hands

Yeah, it's for your own good, Bonner. You'll understand, someday. Sir Modusoperandi 17:05, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

ALL HAIL BENSON! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 19:18, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

Yet Again I am Pilfering His Topic

So <insert name here> what do you think about the current state of Uncyclopedia? (Bonner) (Talk) Dec 17, 19:24

Nobody cares. -<insert name here> 5:16 PM, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

The previous imitating comment was added by Kip the Dip (Talk . Contribs) (Bonner) (Talk) Dec 17, 19:51

*belch* I think each any every one of you needs to get off my lawn. And stop calling my phone, damn you! I'm not fricken' Superman, so buzz off and leave me alo- ... oh. I've been had. Screw this; everyone get back to BENSON. Just don't do anything worth Chronicling, or else. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 22:49, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

Bonner, you suck. Benson 23:04, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

Also, is I Am Legend any good? I'm thinking of going to see it but none of teh reviews I've read make any sense. Benson 23:04, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

UHHHHHHH..... Vincent Price's version was good! Mr. Briggs Inc. 00:01, 19 December 2007 (UTC) Eh?

I fell asleep halfway through it (though it wasn't the movie's fault; my girlfriend drugged my popcorn) --YeOldeLuke 00:51, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

...and you woke up in a tub filled with ice and you were missing a kidney. Yes, yes, we've heard you tell this one before. Did I ever tell you about the time that Ye Olde Luke's girlfriend gave me a kidney? Well, it all started... Sir Modusoperandi 04:28, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

I haven't read any of the reviews, but it seems to be a movie in which Will Smith portrays BENSON as the only person who wasn't eaten by zombies. They used "Legend" in the title because their lawyers were afraid to use "BENSON". By the way, have I ever told you guys that I like to make up idiotic bogus? --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 18:20, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

Wow, <insert name here> is talking directly to me!

Isn't this exciting? <insert name here> mentioned my name! Oh no, I just clicked Edit and realized that he was using the {{USERNAME}} template! What a mean trick! Now I got all excited for nothing. /me puts pants back on. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ CUN • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF  22:33, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

<insert name here> is a doody head. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:39, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

<insert name here> is a pretentious <insert name here>, with an annoying <insert name here> even worse than <insert name here>. Also, <insert name here> uses {{USERNAME}} too much. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:41, Dec 19

Yeah! Let's kill <insert name here>!!!! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:44, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

You guys, I have horrible news. <insert name here> is dead. I blame STM. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ CUN • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF  22:45, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

Yes, Bonner sucks. Sir Modusoperandi 22:46, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

I just got worse news. Bonner is dead. I blame STM as well. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ CUN • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF  22:49, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

Let us mourn the death of the dearly beloved. Bonner will forever live on in... screw it. I want a beer. Captain Mindless drivel Pointless edits 04:20, 20 December 2007 (UTC)

Know who else wants a beer? Bonner. But Bonnor is dead. Dead people can't have beer. It's the law. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ CUN • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF  23:14, 20 December 2007 (UTC)