Forum:Things Are Going to Change

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WARNING!
This page contains profuse whining. Proceed with caution.
This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory, which Uncyclopedia vehemently denies knowledge and existence of. The black helicopters are not ^on their way.


Contents

Look at me, I'm an attention whore!

This is a list of pages which you should unprotect:

  • Uncyclopedia is the Worst
  • Asperger's syndrome
  • AAAAAAAAA!
  • Oscar Wilde
  • Encyclopedia Dramatica

Thanks in advance. Know that we are nameless. We are legion. We are a force to reckon with. Fail to comply and you risk facing our undying, unrelenting wrath upon your site. We are sick of the way you control information on your site so that no one can expose the truth, so that only your side is shown, The APOV, the administrative point of view. This is UNACCEPTABLE and is going to end. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 67.1.39.143 (talk • contribs)

Go cry us a river. --General Insineratehymn 07:36, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Ok. Gay1.gif 08:00, 30 Dec 2006
Must be a Wikipedian...--Image:HPSig.PNGHP talk Image:Icons-flag-pi.PNG 08:15, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Must be an EDcyclopedian... HOMESTAR ME!!! TURTLE ME!!! t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 08:23, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
So, some twitface decided to be funny by posing as the crusader for truth against the oppressive and autocratic Uncyclopedia, because The People need to see both sides of the issue, and Uncyclopedia, of course, is responsible for the ignorance of millions. The admins should be more responsible. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 08:42, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Just a little boy with sand in his mangina because those pages he vandalized got locked as a result of his bad actions and bad behaviors. Use Child Psychology on him, I suggest the Maddox Method. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 17:19, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
BTW, aren't Aspie, Wilde, and Worst semiprotected rather than protected? What's the big deal about this any way? Do you think you can jihad our servers or something? *laughs* --User:Nintendorulez 20:39, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

You are part of the problem!

DO NOT pretend that you are not part of the problem, because you ARE. This goes beyond Uncyclopedia.

Part of the problem? Actually, I guess I should own up now. I'm all of the problem. It was all my fault. Sorry! Gay1.gif 08:56, 30 Dec 2006
Oh goodie I am part of the problem, well then I guess that makes me part of the solution as well? What is the solution, you might ask? Well, very simply, it is to make fun of you, Mr. Anonymous Conspiracy Guy. I smells me a new article out of this forum topic. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 17:19, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Don't forget though, that the more things change the more they stay the same. -- Sir Mhaille Image:Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I agree, change is a very powerful thing. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:38, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

Unprotect the pages now, or we'll get angry!

You asstwats think your real funny. Motherfucking unprotect the pages now. You do NOT want to make us angry. borg%20queen.jpg

Oh shit! Borg! - Lemon. Image:Lemonwedge.gif 21:32, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
Yes I do. Gay1.gif 09:07, 30 Dec 2006
Spang, you naughty boy. And by the way, anonymous IP, if Uncyclopedia were part of an oppressive information-controlling conspiracy (or whatever), wouldn't you already be banned and this forum entry deleted? Take your hypersensitive libertarian whining and shove it up someone else's ass, so they will have an excuse to beat the crap out of you. Yes, YOU, singular, because your attempt at intimidation through the use of "we" is amusing and a bit moronic. Also, remember to sign your comments with four tildes, coward. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 09:08, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Actually, scratch that, you're not a hypersensitive libertarian; you're trying to open the way for the pages to be vandalised. If you want to change them, discuss the changes you'd like to make and petition for an unblock. But you're not going to do that, are you? Of course not. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 09:12, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Cainad, I think you have it wrong. I don't think the IP wants to open the way for the pages to be vandalised. I think the IP wants the pages open for said IP to vandalise. But who really cares what a person that doesn't sign think? --KWild 09:16, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Not make you angry? What happens when you get angry? Do you turn green and get big muscles or something with the brain of a two year-old? Do people call you Bruce or David, and when you get angry and go green do they call you The Hulk? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 17:19, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Asstwat... heh. HOMESTAR ME!!! TURTLE ME!!! t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 19:13, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
"You do NOT want to make us angry." - Us? --AAA! (AAAA) 12:51, 2 January 2007 (UTC)
Multiple Personality Disorder means he uses sockpuppets to make threats here. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 20:12, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

We just want the administration of this site to be accountable. They hold all the chips and strings!

We just want the administration of this site to be accountable. You are part of one of the lowest tiers of the World Order, whether you like to admit it or not. They are the ones who hold all the chips and strings, who want to keep us ignorant, buying their products, happy, and healthy (but not too healthy, too many people living too long creates demographics problems). they have not deleted this post because that would make their monitoring too conspicious, they WANT you to think we just want to vandalise some pages. -67.72.98.46 09:23, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Cool. Prove it. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 09:26, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
I like holding the "chips and strings"... whatever they do. —Braydie at 09:27, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Potato chips, or corn chips? --Image:HPSig.PNGHP talk Image:Icons-flag-pi.PNG 18:11, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
I'm a member of the World Order™, and I approve of this IP's message. Don't forget to visit the gift shop on your way out! Gay1.gif 09:29, 30 Dec 2006
His overdramatic way of reasoning leads me to believe that parts of his argument are going to end up in an article somewhere... --MelvanaInChains 09:32, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Did you mean the New World Order which includes Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Eric Bishoff, Sting, and a lot of other WCW Wrestlers? How about the Evil Atheist Conspiracy? No? How about the Illuminati? No? How about the Evil Illuminati Adolf Hitler Clone Society? No? Then it must be I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati! What World Order are you talking about? Freemasons? Reptilian Agenda? I mean there happen to be a lot of World Orders out there. I get confused easily, so please state the name of the World Order you are talking about. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 17:35, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Jews use time travel and Google to steal my words and post them in Hebrew!

Prove it? ok. The other day I was talkiing to my girlfriend on messenger. I mention Kyle from South Park at some point. Later I searched for something on Google, and someof my results were in HEBREW!!!! How can this be a fucking coincidence???? they are not only watching me, they are toying with me. and yes I realize I dropped the plural. get over it. -67.72.98.46 09:35, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Hebrew? You mean Jewish people watch South Park and make the same observations that you do about it to their girlfriends and they post it on web sites that they submit to Google, which takes two weeks to process new sites? Meaning that the web site was submitted at least two weeks before you even made those comments, and you just proved that Jewish people have time machines and can steal your messenger comments, travel back in time two weeks ago, create a web site, submit it to Google, so 15 minutes after you told your girlfriend something, there it is in Hebrew on Google! Wow! What a story! What a time traveling conspiracy! --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 17:35, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

And by chips and strings, I mean poker chips and puppet strings. -67.72.98.46 09:36, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Oh? What were you searching for? Does it shock you that the Israelies might actually have websites? Also, I said "prove it," not "give some irrational bit of barely cohesive evidence that only makes sense to people who watch South Park, and support it by asking a rhetorical question." It could be coincidence in almost 12 and a half ways; rhetorical questions like "How can this be a fucking coincidence????" are examples of lazy arguing. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 09:42, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

לא, מה פתאם, אין מצב, למה שיהודים יקימו אתרי אינטרנט מוקדשים לאחת הדמויות הבדיוניות היהודיות הכי מוכרות כיום? זה באמת חסר כל הגיון, סביר יותר להניח שמישהו משגיח עליו, ודאי שהוא מישהו נורא חשוב. ---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 16:25, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Hey! It's the text from Darth Vader's chestplate. Cool!--Sir Modusoperandi 16:31, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
And also the text on those jeweled chest plates they used in Raiders of the Lost Ark in order to get close enough to it to open it up. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:43, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
JESUS CHRIST, HE'S FOUND OUT! Gay1.gif 09:43, 30 Dec 2006
You don't say? I entered a search for The City Wok Guy and there were results in Chinese. Bizarre, man. Totally damn bizarre. That can't be a coincidence, even though there are a myriad of Chinese pages. It can't. --MelvanaInChains 09:45, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Nah Google only returns results in English, Google does not support any other language like Hebrew, Chinese, or even Spanish. Nor does it have a link on search results to translate them into English either. I mean it is not like Google supports multi-languages and has an option to turn each language on or off and only search for results in English or whatever. Oh gosh no, Google does not support that kind of feature! --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:43, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Jews like H.P. Lovecraft, thus proving my conspiracy theory! Google must be haunted!

HOW THE FUCK WOULD A SEARCH FOR STORIES BY H.P. LOVECRAFT TURN UP HEBREW RESULTS??? GOOGLE ISNT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT UNLESS I TELL IT TO -67.72.98.46 09:47, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

I know, because it's totally impossible that an Israelite can be a fan of his. I mean, really. --MelvanaInChains 09:50, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Proves nothing, except that you have an allergy to Hebrew lettering. Go on, I want to see how many capital letters you have left. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 09:52, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
So was that your entire reason for wanting those pages unprotected? Because you got hebrew results on one google search? Gay1.gif 09:55, 30 Dec 2006
I agree, because it is the truth that Google does not support any language except English so you should not even be getting Hebrew results. I mean Google only supports English, right? No Hebrew web sites should show up, unless you are using Jewgle or something. You didn't tell it to use Jewgle, the Hebrew version of Google, so Google must be haunted or something, right? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:48, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Nobody cares. --AAA! (AAAA) 12:59, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

I always feel like, somebody's watching me!

I do not have an allergy to Hebrew lettering, I'm just saying that it cant be coincidence that I talk about a jewish character, then one third of my google results turn up in hebrew when I didnt even have it set to do that. Someone was WATCHING me. -67.72.98.46 09:57, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Spang, you are drawing connections which I did not say ANYTHING about. I'm giving proof of why I think the World Order is watching me. I'm asking you to unprotect these pages because I do not want you to be decieved by their machinations. I really care about you, and dont want to see that happen to you. -67.72.98.46 09:59, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

.....protecting them would PREVENT any "machinations" to the pages from happening, genius. --MelvanaInChains 10:02, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
So do you also hear voices and see things that aren't there? Are you taking medication for your paranoia? Are you actively seeing a Psychiatrist? If not, you ought to go get yourself checked out, just enter any ER of any Hospital and tell them exactly what you are telling us, they will figure it out and find a way to help you. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:06, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Figure it out on your own what the fuck I am talking about!

THAT IS EXACTLY THE TYPE OF "LOGIC" THAT FUCKS US ALL OVER!!!!! This only proves that you have fallen too far into their web for me to help you. You'll have to realize on your own that your attempts to control information are wrong. -67.72.98.46 10:06, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

who am I fooling? you'll never change your ways. Fucking oligarchs. -67.72.98.46 10:07, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

How would you suggest we've taken their bait by locking the pages so that they have absolutely no access to them? 0% sense. --MelvanaInChains 10:08, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Now now, bad grammar won't help us understand your rantings. Try writing more clearly next time. Preview before you post, and read your words to yourself and think before you write next time. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:08, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Do not want! Truthful edits!

Because I'm not the problem, YOU ARE!!! neither I nor the World Order wish to vandalise any Uncyclopedia page, but the World Order does not want me to make certain truthful edits to your articles, and so you, being one of them, do not want me to either. -67.72.98.46 10:12, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

I can assure you, we have much more important things to do than watch over puny people like you. Really, with the world economy to manage, wars to start (and end, on occasion), and the 80-something percent of the world population without internet access to keep under control, do you really think we have the time to worry about you? Jews are about one quarter of one percent of the world population, so the conspiracy is very busy indeed! You might have more luck with the Bilderberg Group. But seriously, you still haven't proven anything: why can't it be a coincidence?
What makes you question our logic, when you have shown so very little? You claim that a conspiracy exists, although no conclusive evidence exists for it. You claim that this lack of evidence can be attributed to their secrecy and influence. When we still do not believe you, you claim we are "deceived" by them, which is why we cannot see the truth. Your system of logic is circular, and does not provide for a neutral ground from which to debate the issue. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 10:13, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
And think: why would a World Order decieve a parody site, out of all things? --MelvanaInChains 10:16, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Truthful edits? If you want the truth, you are at the wrong Wiki site. See, this is a parody site and a source of a lot of nonsense and funny stuff on the Internet. A lot of the funny things we write here aren't true, but some of them are true but are funny anyway like the George W. Bush article. We call it deadpan humor, and imagine it being read by a Ben Stein type of voice without any emotion, you know that guy from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the High School Economics Teacher who put half the class to sleep and kept repeating "Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?" over and over again until a girl said she heard he was sick or something. I'll tell you what, just register an account here and create some pages in your user page, and link to them in this forum and let us know what truthful edits you would make. If we find them funny and not stupid, we might have the admins unlock those pages for you and add in your contributions to them. Fair enough? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:13, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

The truth is out there!

That is because you refuse to see the truth, all around you. I have only begun to stumble upon a conspiracy which goes far beyond anything you can possibly comprehend, so I don't know why I'm even bothering to enlighten you. Just unprotect the pages, which is what I came here for in the first place, kplzthx. -67.72.98.46 10:17, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

It's highly unlikely that they'll do anything on your account after you've affectionately called us all "fucking oligarchs". Nice move. --MelvanaInChains 10:20, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Did you say kplzthx? Is that your name or something? I think it is the name of that imp from the fifth dimension who always plays pranks on Superman. Mr. Kplzthx or something like that. All we need to do to get rid of this guy, is trick him into writing his name backwards, and then he goes back into the fifth dimension for six months or something. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:51, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

The World Order, I wasn't clever enough to make up a good sounding name for them yet

The World Order (I dunno what they call themselves, if anything, thats just what I refer to them as) controls a great many things, everything if they had their way. Even stuff as insignificant as this site. They have eyes, ears, and hands here, ESPECIALLY since I'm here. I'm on the verge of knowing too much. -67.72.98.46 10:21, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

By "they" you mean the admins, right?. -67.72.98.46 10:22, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

You've dropped the "we," I noticed. You're still using melodrama to prove your point though, most unfortunate. And how, pray tell, do you plan to dismantle this World Order by editing the pages? I mean, come on, AAAAAAAAA!? How the hell can you worm in hidden words of truth into that? --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 10:23, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
I was clearly talking about the admins. Try understanding what people talk about before you spew words of nonsense. --MelvanaInChains 10:24, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Does the World Order have noses as well as eyes, ears, and hands? What about feet, arms, and legs? Oh wait, it does. That is because they are all made up of Mr. Potato Heads! They are the Potato World Order! POTATO is in all caps, because it is an acronym for Politically Oriented Technology And Terrorist Organization. The POTATO WORLD ORDER! They also have a King that leads them, the King of the POTATO People! They started out in Ireland, but ended up in Idaho, land of the Potatoes. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 18:56, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

I can free the world from tyranny by spreading memes against The World Order!

It is not by myself nor through this site that I plan to save the world from the clutches of the World Order. But if I manage to free this site of its tyranny, it is one more forum by which we can spread memes against them. -67.72.98.46 10:26, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Memes....? I'm itching to tell you how irrelevant that is, but it's getting quite late now... --MelvanaInChains 10:28, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Irrelavent? not at all. Satire is a potent medium for the transmission of memes. -67.72.98.46 10:30, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

OMG UNCYCLOPEDIA DID WTC!!!! CONSPIRACY CONSPIRACY CABAL CABAL -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:50, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
/me drags Codeine away, kicking and screaming. —Braydie at 11:51, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
/me sticks Codeine with a syringe, straps on goofy-looking mind control helmet, gets MIB flashy thing... Anyway, you saw nothing. --User:Nintendorulez 20:51, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
Dimwit IP. The relevence of satire is not in question here, it is memes that we question. Besides, how do you know that spreading memes is not the will of the World Order? You know, come to think of it, you might be one of them. I mean, look at it this way: the World Order decides we're too uppity, free-thinking, or somehow undesireable, so they use you, a pawn, to make the very idea of a World Order seem ridiculous by using arguments that we can see through very easily. Plus, they would know we would reject you based on our history, which they have probably already studied. At least, if the World Order is anything like you described. Oh no, wait, if you're their pawn then I can't trust any evidence I recieved from you, which means you must be wrong about the World Order. But that is exactly what they would want me to believe, isn't it? Oh fiddlesticks, I can't explain circular reasoning to the likes of you; I'm going to bed. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 10:51, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Oh and "Uncyclopedia is the Worst" is not fully protected, "This page has been locked so that only registered users can edit it." So I'll tell you what, you sign up, make a stupid edit somewhere (I don't know... finish a sentence). I'll see it and send you our welcoming gift, supplying you with knowledge. —Braydie at 11:51, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

My new question is why unprotect ED? We have a whole site dedicated to making fun of them. And Asperger syndrome is the same as the page telling us why we are the worst. Besides all this cabal stuff which supposedly doesn't exist but it supposedly does as well is stupid. Same with the New World Order stuff. --KWild 12:33, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Yes that's it, you will be rewarded, the cabal doesn't exist. Good, that's it keep smiling for the camera. —Braydie at 12:48, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Oh, by the way: looks like Mr. Conspiracy Conspiracy Cabal Cabal (67.1.39.143) is also Mr. Take An Axe, Set It On Fire, And Physically Hack Every One Of Your Servers To Pieces (67.1.38.141). Or perhaps that's just what they want us to believe. OH GOD THEY'RE WATCHING ME!!1 -- Paw_print.jpg 12:45, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Good work robin, ok, to the bat post! —Braydie at 12:48, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Now that I think of it. If we are going to go all Slashy on him and create a Userpage, may I suggest 'Legion'. --KWild 15:30, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Why do so many paranoid crazy people sound so paranoid and crazy? /me says as my tinfoil hat make a krinkle sound...--Sir Modusoperandi 15:33, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

I agree with everything 67.72.98.46 has written. Almost. The Global New World Odor is controlling information, but the strings and chips are controlled not by Jews but by Nazi dwarfs living in huge natural caverns near Cheyenne, Wyoming. And the stringy chips are cosmic strings and buffalo chips, my friends! Proletariats, UNITE! Oppressed of the world, THIS BUD IS FOR YOU! Is it a coincidence that when I Googled "World Cabal" Google automatically forwarded me to the Flat Earth Liberation Organization? I think NOT! Google is not supposed to do that unless I am on acid! But. We must realize reality. Material coming from the domain 67.72.98.*** is from Uranus, the Planet of Satire. We have been warned.----OEJ 15:43, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Hey, man. I've been to Cheyenne and, while entire population is short, very few of them goose-step. Except when there's a parade, then they all goose-step. It's adorable.--Sir Modusoperandi 15:49, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

I agree as well- when I type things into google it keeps bringing up pages which are somehow related to the word I used- go and try it yourself, it's creepy! --Sir Jam 16:03, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Also, on re-reading AAAAAAAA! I can't believe that before I missed all those evil admin lies it's spreading on behalf of that damned world order (which I think, by the way, my mum might be part of); I would like to see it open to editing as well, so some righteous anonymous crusader can put right the flagrant falsehoods about the letter A that it is claiming! --Sir Jam 16:13, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Ok this will be fun... —Braydie at 16:35, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Chill out man! Drink some Powershot or something to relax yourself. By the way Im in ur base killin ur d00dz! --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 19:35, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

I left because I fucking needed sleep!!! IT WAS 2 IN THE MOTHERFUCKING MORNING WHERE I WAS!! I did not slink away in defeat, for one who holds the TRUTH will never be defeated. I'm not going to call the World Order anything else until I'm damned sure what they call themselves. as for calling me a conspiracy theorist... If I had said in 1972 that the US president was authorizing agents to snoop the hotel rooms of opponents for stuff to use against them in the upcoming election, you would have called me a conspiracy theorist. But it turned out to be true! Conspiracies happen, and a theory is only a theory until its proven. As for creating an account, the thing wont let me because I tried twice to read the confirmation code and failed (NO ONE COULD HAVE)!! NOW IT WONT LET ME MAKE AN ACCOUNT!!! twat bastards should try to find the truth before you criticize me -67.72.98.45 22:35, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

It sounds like your nap didn't work. I think you need more sleep before you come back here all grumpy like that. What truth do you hold? Tell us. You do know that most people who come up with conspiracy theories are kooks (crazy people), and since you are posting yours on the Internet it makes you an Internet Kook. Even if you are correct about your conspiracy theory, you'll still be an Internet Kook. I happen to know, because I posted conspiracy theories on the Internet that were true and I am still an Internet Kook. So please tell me what proof and evidence you have to show your conspiracy theory is true. Until you can prove what you are saying, it is only a theory. A theory is based on assumptions and guesses, and based on a hypothesis which must undergo some sort of test to see if it is a correct theory or not. What tests have you conducted to show your theory is correct? Did you get a peer review and follow the scientific method, or is this some sort of pseudo-science theory? The confirmation code works, do you have an eye problem and cannot read the confirmation code? Are you blind or legally blind? Did you forget to use your glasses? When I signed up for my account it worked perfectly. Did you know that you can email one of the admins and they can create an account for you and email the password to you? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 22:51, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Yeah I thought I would say that our IP friend doesn't understand the world 'theory' see theories remain theories until they are proven or disproven. Conspiracy theories on the other hand seem to stick around even when they have been disproved. Idiot --KWild 05:39, 31 December 2006 (UTC)


If you motherfucking anal douches cannot realize the TRUTH, I'ma give you a rude awakening. I just got off the phone with a very good friend of mine. They are an Uncyclopedia admin, and they have become disillusioned with you bunch. At my word, they are ready to delete fucking everything, and screw up at least a hundred other things before you can lift a finger to respond. -67.72.98.47 23:13, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, conspiracies happen. You still haven't proven that this one exists yet. In fact, the only evidence you've given is some far-fetched connection and a bunch of drama like "The Truth" and "fucking oligarchs," interspersed with angry caps-lock comments that are supposed to be convincing because of how angry you are. And of course, you still have no rebuttal for my previous argument. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 23:17, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
If it's all the same to you, can you make mine a nude awakening? And not too early. --Sir Modusoperandi 23:20, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Again, what truth are you talking about? You aren't making any sense here to me. If you need to create an account and cannot figure out the confirmation code get on IRC and chat with an admin. If your friend is an admin, why can't he just create an account for you, and unprotect those pages for you? I'm betting that you don't have an Uncyclopedia Admin friend and are making it all up, because my bullshit detector is going off the charts. Threatening to delete all the pages here and screw a hundred or other things up sounds like a terrorist threat to me. We don't negotiate with terrorists. If your friend is an Uncyclopedia Admin, why not give us his username or have him post on here so we can know that you are telling the truth? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:24, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Anon IP, let me field this one. He can't provide proof of anything, because then "they" would know. He can only prove things when we unlock pages that have, historically, been vandalized. That's the secret; he can only reveal the secret in mainspace, on a page. Not here; "they" watch here. You don't want "them" to know, do you Orion Blastar?--Sir Modusoperandi 23:32, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
(In a Colombo voice) Excuse me, pardon me sir. I couldn't help but ask you a few questions to help me clear things up a bit. Now who are they that you keep talking about? Do you have a name or names for them? You mentioned that they are members of some sort of World Order, can you be more specific? What proof did you say you had, and why do you need pages to be unlocked in order to provide this proof? What interest do you have in these pages that have been vandalized in the past and thus locked to prevent vandalization? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:41, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

You'll have to figure who it is on your own. If I tell you who it is, you'll just strip them of their admin powers before they can do anything. I'm not telling you who my operative is. -67.72.98.47 23:33, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

(In a Colombo voice) Excuse me, pardon me sir. I couldn't help but ask you a few questions to help me clear things up a bit. Why would an Uncyclopedia Admin do such a thing to vandalize Uncyclopedia? Why can't they just create a user account for you, and unprotect the pages so you can prove whatever it is you need to prove? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:41, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Because you're going to have to do this for yourselves. Or else I fuck things up big. That clear enough? -67.72.98.47 23:44, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

(In a Colombo voice) Excuse me sir, I hate to bother you again, but I have more questions for you to answer. What do you want us to do ourselves? Why must we do it? How come your admin friend cannot do it for you? How are you going to fuck things up? Also sir, one more question for you. Do you know that Uncyclopedia is on a backup system, and that other admins can undo what your admin friend can do, as well as ban your admin friend and take away his admin powers once he does it? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 00:05, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

You have three hours to meet our my demands, Uncyclopedia, before you meet a bitter, bitter end

I'ma go play grand theft auto for a while. Probably be back in a few hours. If I come back and find those pages still protected (even semi-protected) I'ma have my operative baleet fucking everything. K? -67.72.98.47 23:47, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Wow. Just like that? You're amazing. —Braydie at 23:51, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
(In a Colombo voice) Excuse me sir, I hate to bother you again, but I have more questions for you to answer. How many hours is a few? How come you are not answering my other questions? What happens when your few hours expire, you come back here, and we discover that nothing was fucked up and we call you on your bluff? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 00:05, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
Oh, oh, I wanna see! Threats make such convincing arguments; we will feel like such fools for not listening when we had the chance. Then the pages will be restored and the admin responsible de-adminned, and we will all have a good laugh. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 00:01, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Alright, alright, disregard the preceding warning, because I'm not exactly sure myself how many a "few" is, and I'm bored anyways. Of course I know that other admins can undo what my operative can do, even strip them of their powers and ban them. But they no longer have any desire to be an admin on your punkass site, and are willing to go along with me as their last move. They can, however, fuck things up so bad it will take WEEKS, at best, for you to correct them. This is exactly why they cannot unprotect those pages ahead of time, because it would attract the attention of other admins. -67.72.98.46 00:25, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

If you don't tell us these secrety secrets right this very instant, I'm going to shit my pants in protest! Wup...damn fiber...I'm going to have shat my pants at some time in the past in protest...--Sir Modusoperandi 00:44, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
(In a Colombo voice) Pardon me sir, I hate to keep bothering you like this, but a few more questions. Do you in fact know how a Wiki works, and that a Wiki is designed to undo the damage done to it very quickly using version control? Do you know that this very thing has been done before, and it was quickly restored 15 minutes later? Did you know that the Wiki software was designed in this fashion after the software it replaced took weeks to recover from that sort of damage? Do you also know that there are enough admins keeping an eye on the logs and also being emailed changes to various articles that will notice a few articles get fucked up, figure out who is fucking them up, and stop them, even if they are an admin and that they will be stopped way before they can fuck up the 15th article they start to fuck with? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:59, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

stupidasses. Go ahead and make fun of me. thatll be one more NAIL in your site's COFFIN. -67.72.98.45 01:35, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

You can catch more flies with honey that you can with vinegar...of course you don't want to eat the honey afterwards. You know that we're mostly liberatian lefties, eh? We don't deal well with threats. We're rebels, you see. Nerdy, nerdy rebels.--Sir Modusoperandi 01:51, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
I so cannot wait for this! This is almost better than Lost! I wish I could tape this. Care to hurry it up a bit so we don't have to wait as long? Gay1.gif 01:54, 31 Dec 2006
(In a Colombo voice) Pardon me sir, I hate to keep bothering you like this, but a few more questions. Did you know that coffins no longer require the use of nails and haven't since we switched to metal coffins in the 19th century? Did you know that Uncyclopedia is a humor Wiki and exists to make fun of people, places, things, and even stuff that does not even exist? Did you happen to notice that with every post you make your story gets crazier and crazier and it gives people here more ammo to make fun of you with? Did you also know that the only reason why you haven't been banned is because the admins are laughing their asses off over what you keep posting? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:59, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
Did you also know that if you think that a conspiracy is going on, you shouldn't be sitting on your ass playing GTA? --MelvanaInChains 02:02, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
Yeh, all of the cool kooks conquered GTA ages ago. They've moved on to Bully. You want to be cool, don't you?--Sir Modusoperandi 02:08, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
  • MOTHERFUCKING nails in a MOTHERFUCKING coffin is a metaphor!!!
  • Its not my problem if they refuse to see TRUTH
  • They can ban me, it won't stop me from editing here though.
  • they don't care what video games I play or when.

-67.72.98.45 02:08, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Your rhetoric bores me. I'm going to write something funny now. You should do the same.--Sir Modusoperandi 02:11, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
We refuse to see MOTHERFUCKING TRUTH because truth sucks. It's more enjoyable when it's all full of spurious lies. --MelvanaInChains 02:18, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
I've had it with these motherfucking truths on this motherfucking wiki! Gay1.gif 02:22, 31 Dec 2006

This IP's foolishness has gone on long enough

This IP has got to be one of the most outrageous and ridiculous individuals I have seen in a very long time. He speaks of a conspiracy being conducted, but he does not wish to tell us what it is. Also, why does he want the pages unlocked anyway? Just so he can vandalize them? Not about to happen, buddy! Don't think you can use threats upon us either. There were certain people who issued some form of threat against us, and in the end, they became the butt of our humor. I now ask the question of this anonymous IP: is that what you wish to become? Do you want to be the butt of our humor? --General Insineratehymn 02:24, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Your site deserves to be destroyed for making fun of individuals with asperger's syndrome. -67.72.98.45 02:26, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

That's the same thing Anonymous Slashy said. Do you want to end up like Anonymous Slashy? --General Insineratehymn 02:28, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

I explained in VERY clear terms what I mean. The conspiracy is the World Order, which has one of its tentacles wrapped around Uncyclopedia. Unprotecting those pages is part of the process by which you will be freed from their manipulations. -67.72.98.45 02:29, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

You are speaking in crazy talk. You just want those pages unlocked just so you can vandalize them. I can see right through your hollow claims. --General Insineratehymn 02:31, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
Hey. I said that earlier. --KWild 05:39, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to vandalise ANY part of your site. You've played straight into the hands of the World Order. -67.72.98.45 02:37, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

If you have no intention to vandalize, then would you care to tell us in detail what edits you wish to make? If you just reason with us like civil humans and not rant like crazy conspiracy theorists, then maybe we can clear up all of this. --General Insineratehymn 02:40, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Benson begs to differ

Know what I think? I think Benson can take on this World Order and this Anonymous Conspiracy Guy? What do the rest of you think? But it is worth the time of Benson to come over to this forum topic and show how much better he is than the World Order and the Anonymous Conspiracy Guy? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:34, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Wow, I was just thinking about that! BENSON knows exactly what to do with puny monkey-men who claim anyone other than BENSON controls the world. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 06:42, 31 December 2006 (UTC)
BENSON crushes all! But this isn't worth his valuable time. --Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 08:11, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Vote to have the pages in question unlocked