Franz Schubert

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“He's gay?!? All those afternoons I spent with him, and I thought that he just wanted to fluff my pillow to make me comfy”

~ Oscar Wilde on Franz Schubert

The famous Franz "Little Mushroom" Schubert (1797-1828) was an Australian composer who lived in Vienna, Australia. He is usually known as The Famous Franz Schubert in order to distinguish him from his identical twin brother Franz Schubert (1797-1828).

1 Life
2 Works
3 Trivia
4 External Links

[edit] Life

Schubert was born into humble circumstances in 1797, which was the year of his birth. Thus he would be celebrating his 209th birthday in 2006, it being the year when he would turn 209, had he not died in 1828.

Schubert was intended to become either a sewing machine or an insurance clerk. In the end, however, he ended up being dead. he was infact a raging homosexual who liked hanging round playgrounds.

Schubert contracted syphilis from himself in 1820. This forced him to wear eyeglasses for the rest of his life. Schubert would often play the piano, get drunk, and throw up all over the keybord while having wild parties with his so-called 'friends' (Freunde auf Österreichisch). These so-called 'friends' gave him the nickname Schwamm, which is Austrian for 'puzzled, overproductive colossus anteater hammock issue'. Some friends they were!

Yup. That face says it all....

[edit] Works

Schubert produced a fair number of Lied (Australian for 'catchy tune') which belong to the repertoire of every cook and golf professional nowadays.

Schubert finished a number of symphonies. These include:

Symphony No. 1, 'Finished'
Symphony No. 2, 'Finished'
Symphony No. 3, 'Finished'
Symphony No. 4, 'Finished'
Symphony No. 5, 'Finished'
Symphony No. 6, 'Finished'
Symphony No. 7, 'Finished'
Symphony No. 9, 'Finished'

He also left another one, the Symphony No.8, 'Unfinished', which is unfinished. Strangely enough, many people consider this to be his best symphony and claim that it actually is finished. It was later finished by UK music producers Hybrid, as it turns out that Schubert had, in fact, pre-ordered a bunch of synthesizers and music software, around 200 years before its release to accompany it. It was discovered upon his death that Schubert had been composing a nationalistic Symphony No.10, 'Finnish,' a preemptory accolade for the only two Finnish composers anybody knows, Sibelius and Rautavaara. Since Schubert died while writing this symphony, it is neither Finnished nor finished.

Schubert also composed a number of piano quintets, most of which take their name from various species of fish. These include: