Freaks

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“FREAK! Let's eat him!”

~ People in the Middle Ages on Freaks

“No, wait... this is wrong... let's cook him first!”

~ People nowadays on Freaks

Michael Jackson is one notable freak.

Freaks are not people. They are things used for our amusement, like cats or politicians. Common examples of freaks include people with mental retardation, a third breast or nipple, way too much fat, way too little fat, hermaphrodites, those weird ring-necked African people, or the more common unhealthy obsession with an old storybook (evolutionists).

1 Uses
2 Freaky
3 The Great Freak Insurrection
4 Controversy
5 Should An Encounter Arise
6 Famous Freaks
7 See also

[edit] Uses

Freaks, though freaky, can be of much valuable use. Especially in movies, like Spiderman, Will Hunting, or the mutant from the Goonies. Freaks can also be employed for our entertainment, (see Michael Jackson), like this lady.

[edit] Freaky

What makes a freak a freak? Here are some good examples:

Dude! Homies rockin the triple nipple!

Wow. Is...is it real?

Freaky pigs subjected to radioactive waste.

Sometimes being a freak is good.

[edit] The Great Freak Insurrection

Back in the 1960's and 70's, being a freak was becoming more accepted, and the population of freaks was growing rapidly. Eventually, they thought they had enough power to take over. Two years before the deadly 1969 Rock Massacre in Bethel, NY, the freaks began their campaign. They started with San Francisco, thus beginning the Battle of the Summer of Love, which led to the complete destruction of that city. With their first victory accomplished, the freaks spread out, storming city after city, and spreading their anti-war ideologies while at the same time assaulting the populace with loud folk music, propaganda, and LSD fumes. The Insurrection lasted for about 8 years, having spread to many countries, and ending with nearly 121,850,000 casualties worldwide (half being in the US). The siege was finally stopped by mass malnourishment.

[edit] Controversy

Recently, freaks have banded together and proclaimed that being called a freak "Isn't-not unkind", and that all the teasing is "less-than-quasi-humane". Their group, called People for the Ethical Treatment of Abnormals, has begun sueing many other organizations and companies for "unfair and anti-nice" accusations and supporting groups that frequently make jokes about freaks. Some freaks have even gone to new measures by spraying pro-freak graffiti on public buildings (such as "Abnormals Are People Too" and "In Soviet Russia, freaks tease YOU"), torching the vehicles of people who "oppress", and capturing and humiliating those who they see as a threat to their cause.

[edit] Should An Encounter Arise

Don't panic. Act completely normal, because if you behave nervously, they'll take that as an insult and probably make a spectacle of it. If you are caught talking to one, treat them as regular human beings, and always keep eye-contact. They can sense prejudice and fear.