Freddy De Kerpel

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Freddy De Kerpel is a mythical creature, who lives, has lived and will live forever. He has many extaodinary abilities, too many to sum up. Also, he has played a major role in the history of mankind. However, this was mostly on the background, so few people know him. His current residence is Belgium, where he assumes the identity of a boxer.

[edit] Early Life

In the beginning Freddy De Kerpel created God and left it then for him to finish the Creation.

The rest of his early life is shrouded in mystery.

[edit] Influence on History

About 65 million years ago, Freddy De Kerpel crashed into Earth. The shock caused by this had tremendous consequences for the dinosaurs, who became extinct by this event. Only a few hunderd survived, who were killed within the year by Freddy De Kerpel, with his bare hands.

After this disaster, all went well for a while. Freddy De Kerpel didn't show up until the Eqyptians were a succesfull civilisation. Actually, there are indications that Freddy De Kerpel helped them build the pyramids. Doing the work of thousand slaves, he was responsible for building the pyramid of Cheops on his own.

Some historians believe that the name Achilles is Greek for Freddy De Kerpel. However, according to the Illiad Achilles died, during the Trojan War. This is offcourse impossible since Freddy De Kerpel will be the last being alive at the end of times.

[edit] Relationship with Chuck Norris

It is said that Freddy De Kerpel is a brother (a cousin in other versions) of Chuck Norris. Whether this is true, is still a point of discussion. When a journalist asked Norris the question, Chuck Norris just stared back until the journalist spontaneously self-combusted.

[edit] Facts about Freddy De Kerpel

-Freddy De Kerpel once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and he got him!

-Freddy De Kerpel doesn't eat honey, he chews on bees -