Fried Chicken
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Fat Albert has been spotted eating here on several occasions. You have been warned. |
βFried Chicken! Whooeee, that sounds like a good time, wait, all you do is eat it?β
~ George Washington on Fried Chicken
A tasty delicacy made by enclosing pieces of chicken within a seasoned coating and frying them in hot fat, fried chicken is the national bird of the Southern United States. Although any part of the chicken may be fried and eaten, generally it is the exterior parts you will find in a KFC bucket. Internal organs (such as the lungs, thorax, spleen, and appendix) are more valuable as delicacies and are often reserved for use in the confectionary industry.
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[edit] Religion
Originally created as a sacrifice to the gods of ancient Kentuckistan. The most common god is known to the locals simply as the "the Colonel," though in other cultures his variants may be called anything from "Pappy" to "you motherfucker." Eating fried chicken is a common religious practice among Rednecks. Rednecks, or hillbillies, have been known to eat up to three family sized buckets of KFC a day, usually accompanied by large helpings of Jack Daniels and Country Music.
[edit] Types of fried chicken
- Fried chicken - A general term used for whole, bone-in chicken pieces, usually breasts, thighs, penises, and other sexy bits. Invented by this plantation owner known as the colonel, whoe stole the recipe from his slaves, and never gave them credit.
- Chicken fingers - This is one of the most common forms of fried chicken, although it isn't made from chicken at all. Chickens don't have fingers. But people do.
- Chicken nuggets - Balls.
- Buffalo wings - The blood-drenched wings of a Buffalo/Chicken Hybrid (see:Chickalo}
- Popcorn chicken - Popularly served in movie theaters, this style of chicken is cooked in a pan of boiling oil until they explode. It is usually topped with salt, butter, and/or clemen.
- Chicken patties - Breaded chicken shit. In the 4th century, slaves were forced to eat this crap by their cruel masters. Yet, for some reason, this dish continues to remain popular among Rednecks even to this day.
- Chicken beer - An awkward, fermented, fried chicken beverage.
[edit] Sample Recipe
From Method of Cookery With Receipts &c. first published in 1525:
1 chicken, cute upp in pieces An egg, beaten welle Halfe a glass of milke, squeezed freshe from the teate Flowrr, to cover the bits of chicken A potte of fatte Taketh the egg and beateth it well with the milke. Put the chicken to this and after rubbe in the flowrr, adding salte & pepyr as your heart doth desireth. Cook these all in the hot fat and serve forth.
[edit] See also
| Chicken Soup for the Eyes |
| Baby food | Beer nuggets | Boogers | Candy | Cantaloupes | Cheese sandwiches | Condoleezza Rice | Cornbread | Hammus | French bikinis | Fried Chicken | Fudge | Goa Tse | Hairy tacos | Krispy Kreme | Mushrooms | Mangos | MILK | Paint stripper | Penis | Pudding | Orange sherbet | Rocky Mountain Oysters | Turd burgers | Spam | Tablets | Taco Bell |
Categories: Food | Tasteless | Meat | Chinese Food | Chicken | Rednecks | Black




