Front

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Frontman of Front - known simply as "TT"

“I'm not a FRONT sort of guy”

~ Noel Coward on Front

Formally known as the People's Revolutionary Collective Against Overly Long Organisational Names Front they became known, in 1982, as simply 'Front'. The group was founded by Winston Churchill, over tea and tiffin one sunny afternoon, and has been led by a number of prominent Tories, so much so that it is considered by some as the paramilitary arm of the Conservative Party.

They have had a continued guerrilla war against their arch rivals, the Welsh Expansionalist Movement, for the last 15 years, culminating in the infamous Battle of Little Bigfoot.

A breakaway group known only as a slightly raised eyebrow was formed in late 1998.

[edit] Front Bottom

With disenchantment amongst the membership, coupled with the death of then leader Telly Savalas, the Front movement stagnated into an all time low. Many political analysts of the time declared the end of the group. Such was the belief in its demise that the Welsh Expansionalist Movement were able to freely expand into Cheshire and parts of Lancashire without fear of attack. But all was not as it appeared.

[edit] A Front to Public Decency

Following the disastrous results in several council and general elections, Front began a rearguard assault to win back the rump of the voting public. In 2000 party spindoctors released the now famous "Up the Front" campaign, in an effort to portray the party as erect, upright politicians, opposed to the back door politics rife throughout the opposition, and British Politics in general.

[edit] Back to Front Movement

After an 18th successive defeat for the Tory Party in 2001, a major backlash against the left-wing politics of the Conservative Leaders brought 'Front' back into the headlines. The first simmering of discontent was seen at the Slough By-Election in the August of that year when former Tory Minister Che Guevara stood as an independent Front nominee. Slough, considered a safe Tory seat fell, and soon a number of prominent seats followed suit.

Tony Blair met with his Conservative counterpart (whoever that was then) to agree on a course of action, and a meeting was held between the key parties. Front were given an ultimatum, to curtail their revolutionary aims and settle into the traditional British plutocratic process, or face eviction from the Houses of Parliament.

Currently both sides are at an impasse, with neither willing to cede ground.