Fruit Loops

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You might not want to forget the necessity of Froot Loops

Fruit Loops were originally mined by the tucans native to Cleveland. After a particular tucan, known as Sam to his aquaintances, found a three mile long, twenty feet wide, vein of the multi-colored goodness he killed the other tucans to ensure that they didn't steal his find. Then he enlisted the help of his three nephews, who's names can't be named. From there they enslaved all of the human race, except for those monks up in the mountains, into needing to eat Fruit Loops for all of eternity.

[edit] Currently

The insane Sam and family are now battling cereal giant Fred Flintsone who has broken the tucan's hold on half of man and instilled his own spell. Also, there are cheap imitations out there, but their enchantments are much weaker by comparison. There is no shortage of the breakfast component and the future looks bright for the fifty year old bird.

he is currently fallowing a map that he drew to find his ancestor and his special fruit loops, his nephews have been beaten and sodomized severely for leading him off track once or twice.