Fruits Basket

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Fruits in a Basket is the fighting mecha anime about humans who were experimented on who become giant robot animals when hugged, and fight against the evil monsters who invade Japan for no good reason.

Contents

[edit] Characters

vvtmola.jpg Tohru Honda AKA Mary Sue is a stereotypical Japanese schoolgirl who does orgies all day long with her big freakin mouth eatsall day Japanese schoolgirl things - blush, giggle, wear short skirts, fall in love with every single male (although sometimes it's impossible to tell) character, blink her God-awfully huge eyes, lose her temper in cute way and get raped by large tentacled monsters. In the Manga, she stumbled upon the secret Japanese military base whilst running from Tentacle-bot (Tentacle-bot-sama) and was inducted as the primary hugger to launch massive attacks. Like every other Japanese school girl involved with the government she eventually has some sort of mental breakdown where she finds out eventually she doesn't want to take part in it anymore blah blah blah and in the end goes back to life as if nothing happened. Has anyone else noticed that happens in every Anime like this? Anybody? Yeah well it happens in this one too. Get over it. tentacle_porn.jpg

Tohru is NOT to be confused with the Honda company, as she cannot drive at all, because she has no licence. But if she did, she'd drive a Suzuki.

TURN-ONS: Tentacle-bot-sama, stereotypical schoolgirl things, every single male below the age of She opens her mouth to have orgasmis that's just nice when she eats i mean disgusting if you ask me elevendy-billion

TURN-OFFS: Involvement with the Japanese government (and men over elevendy-billion) YEAH

===Caliou Soap=== Caillou.jpg Kyo Sohma is primarily described as the suave, cat-like type (secretly a tenticle monster) who has a sharp mind and a predominate wit. This description, however, is self-proclaimed. Another night watching "Road House" and fondling himself for Kyo Sohma. Happens to be obsessed with Kagura. And a steroid obsessed freak.

TURN-ONS: Being hot and likened to a cat, compliments on his cat-like skills, being complimented in general, "Road House", fencing with leeks, tenticles (it is rumered he likes to steal kaguras underwear)

TURN-OFFS: Being put down, being likened to anything else that is not a cat, "Road House" and leeks.

[edit] Mophead Soap

Mophead Soap is a shady and generally suspicious looking person, Yuki can usually be found down by the docks dealing drugs or in the city pawning off fake rolexes. That's why he's the rat, stupid.

TURN-ONS: Drugs, suckers, money, the docks

TURN-OFFS: The "Fuzz", the "Man", the "Heat", actual rolexes, sobriety Deluxe_Mop_Head.jpg

===Relationship with road or street is bisexual [[Image:Yuchi-vol18.JPG|thumb|road or street ran over Pimpperson as they appear in volume 18 of "Pimp my Ride"]tit is revealed in chapter 125 of the manga that he is in love with road or street], a member of the student council who has emotional issues similar to his own. She loves him as well, and they are seen holding hands as they walk.

In Chapter 128, pimpperson wants to tell rode or street something. He is going to tell her that he was Bisexual student council room, but Kimi interrupts and asks them if they have seen her rode or street. Kakeru comes in with her. Yuki, still wanting to tell Machi, calls her the following day and asks her if she has free time later on. Speculations say that Yuki will tell Machi about him being cursed, since Yuki is afraid of whether or not Machi will accept that fact. This is all during the time Kyo is running after Tohru. Yuki is thinking "I can't stand...how much I want you to be bisexual..."

In Chapter 130, pimpperson told road or street he wanted to tell her that she is bisexual. When he is freed from the radio seizure, Yuki changes his mind and tells her he parted with someone who had shared his burdens forever.

In Chapter 131, as pimpperson pisses her off she asks if she can call him by his first name which he says oh hell no, to. He pisses her and tells her that he is the gay person in the whole wide universe Yuki moves into his own apartment in pimpass, and offers Machi the key to it. When she hesitates to take the key (from shyness), he jokingly pretends to pisses it out the window.

It is not revealed how their lives actually turn out, however, people think (based on an image of Kyo and Tohru's son with his wife in the final chapter, and the fact that Tohru and Kyo's granddaughter is shown with a rat plushie and a cat plushie) that All of them are stupid freaking bisexual people! and they have wrinkles. The last thing they said is, "girls have penus' and guys have vaginas!"

[edit] Sugar Ray Soap

Shigure Sohma is a mega pimp and ladies man, Shigure definitely gets all the chicks, and therefore transforms a lot, because when they're hugged by ladies they transform, which kinda sucks. Anyway hijinks ensue one day when he transforms and accidentally levels Tokyo, the government officials were furious, except for the lady government officials, who quite frankly were satisfied. Giggity giggity goo!!

TURN-ONS: Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, hijinks, leveling Tokyo (by accident), leveling Tokyo (on purpose), ladies, lady Japanese government officials, pimping things, ladies in maid costumes, ladies that like him

TURN-OFFS: government officials, the fact that he transforms, not ladies, people who look like ladies but aren't (oops!) ladies that dont like himhttp://www.ladysugar.com/images/sugarfontaine__2_.jpg

===Kagura Sohma=== 61TTBE5AKBL._SL500_AA280_.jpg Kagura Sohma is a nineteen year old robotic boar who poses as a wind sorceress who works for a demon by the name of naraku, and likes to hunt for truffles in her spare time. Her other interests include goth poetry, action flicks, eating paper, wild sex and chewing on erasers. Kyo Sohma is reportedly obsessed with her, but she's deeply in love with her stoner boyfriend Miroku. When Miroku refused to go truffle-hunting with her for the millionth time, she turned into a boar and flattened Tokyo. Hijinks ensued.

TURN-ONS: poetry, Hot Topic, Miroku (until he dumped her for Sango), whoring herself

TURN-OFFS: eating paper, chewing on erasers, insisting on taking Miroku truffle-hunting


Pewee Sohma is a small child and crossdresser who loves nothing more than smiles, sunshine, rainbows, fun, happiness, and joy! This ungodly happiness comes from the asbestos in his downtown Tokyo apartment, which are slowly poisoning his mind. Secrety gay He cannot make up his mind up Not gay Straight as Oscar Wilde.

TURN-ONS: asbestos, smiles, happiness, sunshine, love, joy, glee, rainbows, fun

TURN-OFFS: not crossdressing, "Road House" and loves to pee!bp3.blogger.com/.../xZB42Sew4wA/s1600/sugar.jpg

[edit] Hatori Sohma

Hot-tempered and violent, Hatori Sohma is currently rotting in jail for getting in a nasty bar scrape and breaking a bottle full of beer over another patron's head, then lighting it on fire with his cigarette. He used to sell crack and dance on seedy bar tables with his hooker girlfriend Kana before he was arrested. Kana broke up with him after he was arrested which caused loads of unnecessary angsting on his part. Now he and Mayuko, his new girlfirend, do a roaring trade selling smuggled crack hidden in onigiri to the other prisoners .

TURN-ONS: anger, rage, beer, cigarettes, fire

TURN-OFFS: jail, fellow bar patrons, practically everything

[edit] Hatsuharu Sohma

The other fatty of the family, Hatsuharu Sohma sued McDonalds for making him obese and almost won- but didn't. Later he got Tohru to hug him, then leveled McDonalds Tokyo Headquarters. Hijinks ensued.

TURN-ONS: food, leveling headquarters, hijinks

TURN-OFFS: obseity, common sense, lawyers sugarfontaine__2_.jpg

[edit] Ayame Sohma

Sly and crafty, he's the quick witted and devious type Kyo Sohma wishes he was. Has little merit in battle because a robotic snake can't really do anything. Seriously, it's pretty lame because he can't shoot fire or nothin', he just kind of flails around. SUCKS! He hibernated when France invaded Japan.

TURN-ONS: being crafty, being sly, being better than Kyo

TURN-OFFS: not being able to shoot fire, being a friggin' robotic snake SmithsVeryBest.jpg

[edit] Dr. Akito Sohma

Dr. Akito Sohma is the shady, immoral doctor who created all the zodiac robot mechas. Secretly a woman? Either way, Akito has a fancy for male robots and he created Kureno after Shigure rejected him for the emperor's daughter. Part of the reason Shigure may have rejected him was Akito's unfortunate insistence that he is God. So far, all attempts to confine him to a psych ward have been unsuccessful.FUN FACT: Akito once drank an entire bottle of bleach for ten dollars. Hijinks ensued.

TURN-ONS: mechas, immoral science experiments, being a jerk

TURN-OFFS: secretly being a woman, bleach poisoning, "Road House"funny-ugly.jpg

[edit] Isuzu (Rin) Sohma

Isuzu (Rin) Sohma [1] is Hatsuharu's bitch but only appears in the manga for she was too bitchy to be shown on public TV. She and Haru broke up after she found him in bed with Tohru. 22_harrymoby_lg.jpg

[edit] Kisa Sohma

Don't let her looks fool you. She may be silent and innocent on the outside, but in the inside she's secretly a villainous mastermind who plans to take over the world WITH GRUES!

[edit] Ritsu Sohma

Ritsu Sohma is a gay crossdressing pussy who apologizes for his existence every five seconds, because his parents are also apologizing pussies. He secretly wants to have sex with Kyo but is too shy to admit it. 861751350_681a186dcc_o.jpg

[edit] Kureno Sohma

Kureno Sohma only appears in the manga because he refused to get anywhere near Akito for breaking his DVD player. He really transforms into a sparrow. Is the sex slave of Akito, whether the rest of the family are aware of this is a mystery. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/67/Quentin_Massys-The_Ugly_Duchess-1525-30,NationalGallery,London.jpg/416px-Quentin_Massys-The_Ugly_Duchess-1525-30,NationalGallery,London.


HE IS A SEX SLAVE AFTER ALL!

[edit] Hiro Sohma

Hiro Sohma is a child gangsta who talks like he's 25. He says he loves Kisa but is really in love with Akito. In one episode he popped a cap in some crackah's asses after they "got all up in his shit". When 4KIDS dubbed the show, they censored it to instead have him "pop a soda top and have some Ritz crackers", and edited out the car chase, the orgy, and the back-alley Mafia shootings. The entire episode was only seven minutes long, and was merged with other edited shows. When Funimation dubbed the show, they restored everything. But they were sued by 4Kids. During the trial, Al Khan said that Funimation wants to do nothing but show kids bad shows, but the case was dismissed when the jury refused to believe him, and say flat in his face: Funimation will kick your ass anyday. And thus, 4KIDS was sued by funimation and was put out of business.

[edit] And the rest...

Yeah, I've stopped caring.

[edit] Episodes of merit

1. Tohru finds the Japanese military mecha base, hijinks ensue.

2. Kyo finds out that his lover, Yuki, is in love with the annoyingly stereotypical Tohru! OMFG!!111! He goes insane and proceeds to wreck the house...again...until Shigure appears and beats Kyo into unconsciouness.

6. Akito drinks an entire bottle of Drano for six bucks and a hug, hijinks ensue.

7. Yuki makes rice balls, but accidentally mistakes a bag of sperm Shigure put in the fridge for something else. So he uses it for the rice balls. Many students die from them, but are later resurrected by the seven dragon balls.

10. Shigure levels Tokyo again, big important Japanese government official-sama gets peeved, shouts "Soh-MAH!" and chases him around, and others laugh hysterically. Hatori rolls his eyes and returns to being emo about Kana...

12. Evil alien bunnies invade the the world, make Hatori, Ayame, and Shigure their human sex slaves, and at the end, throw Tohru off a cliff for her high pitched squeely voice. The unaired alternate ending was when Chuck Norris killed the alien bunnies and sent them to hell, Satan was sure upset that day.

13. Hatsuharu, the ox, comes on the scene and brutally masacres all the bunnies with a rubber duck and a gamecube controller. And then Tohru magically returns to life by the lady of the macrocosm, curtesy of Excel and Hyatt before they blast off in the bunnies ship.

15. Tentacle-bot-sama shows up, the Zodiac mechas insinuate a dramatic and violent fight with many flashing colours, lasers, and screaming.

17. VHS copy of "Road House" burns out, hijinks ensue.

25. Goth girl beats up the Yankee who wanted to make Tohru happy. Kyo also transforms into his true form, a tentacle monster, upon seeing this Tohru trys to escape, but is captured by Kyo, and a long boring Hentai scene begins.

26. Series over! This was a cake walk compared to Inuyasha.

-->.<Why is this page so fucked up? All other pages at least have SOME sort of resemblance to what they are meant to be discussing. Not this one though in the slightest. Wth, oh well. Uncyclopedia ftw.

[edit] Hijinks

Fruits Basket is infamous for its abundance of hijinks and tomfoolery, particularly hijinks. Unlike most other fighting mecha shows, the mechas in this one are exceedingly clumsy, and unlike the real Tokyo, the Tokyo in this show rebuilds overnight. FUN FACT: Just like in Neon Genesis Evangelion!

[edit] Differences between the anime and the manga

Whilst the series stops at episode 26, the manga continues for 1,294,837,827,018,615,324,916 more chapters. Memorable scenes from the manga that were not in the anime include:

  • Hatsuharu becomes so morbidly obsese he levels Tokyo without transforming, hijinks ensue.
  • Kagura's gothy poems are accepted as greeting cards for Hallmark, who makes millions. Kagure gets no profit, and then levels Tokyo. Hijinks ensue
  • Kyo buys "Road House" on DVD, totally freaks when Momiji uses it as a frisbee, LOL!Chuck Norris is revealed to start hijinks.
  • Shigure has sex with Dr. Akito's mother, and this angers Akito. Akito proceeds to beat everyone in the household.hijinks ensue
  • The stock market crashes, hijinks ensue.
  • France invades Japan, Zodiac mechas too incompetent to stop even the French, however French laziness impedes invasion and Japan wins by default, French get pissed.hijinks ensue.
  • Shigure, easily the coolest character on the show, jumps over a shark on waterskiis.hijinks ensue.
  • hijinks ensue.

[edit] References

  1. Rin is her nickname, I forgot how to spell her real name and am too lazy to look it up.
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