Furry
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Furryism is a mental state in which a furry person (members of the furry fandom are known as furry fans, furries, or furfags) develops an interest in anthropomorphic porn, that is, self-identify as a private member of an animal. Furryism can manifests itself as a dysphoria toward people and the whole bunch of heteronormative scum in general. If accepted by the furry, it can sometimes lead to fursuiting and pedophilia.
The furry "switch" in someone's DNA is triggered at childhood. If a child comes in contact with a costume character or mascot, plays with a stuffed animal, or watches a movie or television show with talking animals he or she will possibly become a furry. There is no way to reverse it, but some are led to believe that Hentai can prevent this mental state from manifesting, although if used too much this will cause the afflicted child to become Wapanese.
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[edit] Popular Fursonas
Typical furry personas or "fursonas" include cats, foxes, wolves, coyotes, horses, lions, kangaroos, bears, otters, Gary Coleman, and did I mention wolves? Some furries do it in fursuits, but it's hard to clean, and anyway, only furverts do that.
Furries are also known to use "cross-breed" fursonas, such as the pengui-aardvark, the llama-macaque or the batsquid.
[edit] The Great Fur War
The Great Fur War, also known as World War -53, was a massive, but little known conflict that had a profound effect on Furry Fandom. Although it is a little known war, the few historians that know of it have debated its significance for years. While it did result in the destruction of the 1940s (see World War II), its outcome only affected furry and furry lovers. Thus, most people agree that this war should be ignored entirely like Global Warming and AIDS. To Read all about it go here.
[edit] Film Stars and Superheroes
About 70% of furries gain super powers from their fursuits, such as the ability to watch Hentai without vomiting, and the ability to read furry-comics without laughing. Super-furries include Batman (bat), Spiderman (spider), Catwoman (cat) and Superman (also cat).[1]
Han-Solo's best buddy Chewbacca is also furry and is rarely seen outside of his fursuit.
Those who don't become super-heroes often gain employment as Baseball mascots, genetics engineers, Professional loser, theme-park entertainers, or handing out free samples outside stores.
[edit] Furry Organizations
Many believe that the furry community may also have a deep-seated allegiance with such hotels as the The Red Roof Inn and Best Western, as these fine lodgings are where they hold many of their Fur Conventions, or, "Cons." Or, maybe they're just attracted to perpetually hot meth towns, who knows?
[edit] Furries in religion
The eleventh Commandment is most commonly translated as "Thou shalt be a Furry." Due to religious controversy over furries and said Commandment, some crazy fat people have considered passing an amendment banning marriage between furries.
However, Jesus may have been a furry because he identified himself with the lamb. Speculation as to the existence of this "Lamb of God" has led to many shocking discoveries, as scientific evidence shows that Jesus was a potentially violent lamb. However, research into the subject has declined in recent years due to an alleged omerta amongst former researchers, resulting in a number of related projects being laid to rest due to their subtle arts of murder and persuasion. Prior to the conclusion of this research, it was discovered Jesus had a dream where God told him, "Now you've got something to die for." Some people believe that this is why he actually chose to kill himself on that big damn cross. Or perhaps Jews are all just fur-haters.
Based on the statistics gathered by analyzing the number of web searches based on the subjects of the searches, it was found that Portland, Oregon has the largest number of furries per capita of any city in the world. Unitarian Universalism, oddly enough, intentionally attracted more furries by going so far as holding its 2007 General Assembly in Portland.
Furries worship Satan, not necessarily because he's evil, but because he has goat legs. Hubba hubba.
[edit] Feathery
It has become inceasingly popular for furries to stop wanting to be mammals and instead have an unhealthy fascination with birds. These people, featheries, are well-known for their fast-paced, extremely sexual and drug-filled lifestyles. They are the bad-ass version of furry. They never stop with their obsession with birds, and are often infatuated with Discordianism, Oviposition and booze.
Also cocaine. And Aynuth. And Absinthe.
They especially dislike another offshoot of the Furry lifestyle, Shellies.
[edit] See also
[edit] Notes
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Categories: Stereotypes | Furry | Pythonisms | Hentai | Fetishes
