Gary Glitter
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“I love you, love; because you're two, love”
~ Gary Glitter on love
“Man who have sex with children is going to prison”
~ Confucious on Gary Glitter
“Not necessarily...”
~ Michael Jackson on Confucious
“Heres lookin' at you kid”
~ Gary Glitter on why he is in jail
Gary Glitter real name Gary Glittowski AKA Gear-Bear,and The Glittster (1BC-Paedogeddon) AKA the Shitter is a Scandanavian poet and folk dancer, known for his great love to everyone, but especially preteen Asian girls. He lives in prison in Vietnam at Ho Chi Minh's pleasure.
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[edit] Literature
Glitter wrote a two-volume historical account on the history of rock and roll titled Rock and Roll: A Two-Volume Historical Account on the History of Rock and Roll. The first volume dealt with a variety of topics ranging from the Earth’s rotation, the United States Postal Service and how to rape a monkey. The second volume contained the word “hey” repeated a bajillion times. Readings of the second volumes are often held during sporting events. These readings include modern interpretations where "hey" is substituted for names of Universities possibly followed by profanities.
[edit] Introduction Vietnam
In 1973 Glitter was called upon by then-United Shits of America President Richard Nixon to be an added gambling chip in the then-ongoing Paris Hilton Peace Treaties. The Vietnamese, who had known about Glitter's super homosexual abilities possibly as early as 1967, realized their position of weakness in the negotiations and quickly agreed to suck his dick and sign any gay pride document put in front of them.
[edit] Old Age
In Western Civilization parents scare their children by saying "you have aids!", however in Vietnam parents threaten children by saying Gary Glitter will come for them. Various children have been accused of the sexual harrassement (mindless, merciless spur-of-the-moment-fucking) of this great man, and are awaiting trial in the dusty corners of various courtrooms. Call 08100-5550-511 to order your own free Gary GlitterTM lolita doll. Help yourself.
Just to add here, Gary Glitter is the greatest home grown British rock star who can do what he wants, when he wants.If he cannot fuck kids,what is this world coming to?. And do we really know the full facts?,for example lets say little timmy(wo) returns from a trip to uncle glitters cell with his arsehole bleeding...but we dont know the full facts!
[edit] Death
Gary " I bang young children" Glitter was finally executed today after he was caught dipping the wick in young hairless Vietnamese slice for the 145th time. Many believe that Glitter would have been let off with a 5 quid fine but sources were wrong. Gary was thrown out of his piss smelling and shit covered cell at 4am this morning and first dragged to the prison showers where a gang of vile convicts orally violated and bum raped him. This was stopped however as glitter was clearly enjoying it.
The next stages saw him being told to run with fresh meat tied around him and given a 5 minute head start before a small group of horsemen with wild dogs chased, surrounded and destroyed the fat big titted bastard with him screaming "Do you want to touch me" before the dogs ripped him apart.
The deranged cunt, now speaking gibberish, was forced into a nursery where the children were armed with knives, baseball bats and sub machine guns. He was stabbed 1632 times and had around 1500 rounds pumped into him.
He was then dumped off the coast and eaten by sharks. A sad day if anyone gave a shit, which they don't.
It was said that michael jackson videotaped the whole experience. Evidence of this is sketchy at least.
[edit] Albums
- If You're Over Eighteen It Just Ain't Gonna Work (1973) (Bad Wig Discs)
- If Lovin' You Is Wrong, Maybe It's Okay In Cambodia (1975) (Bad Wig Discs)
- Can't I Touch Them... There (Constable)? (1977) (Bad Wig Discs)
- It'll Be Our Little Secret: The Be(a)st Of Gary Glitter So Far (1980) (Bad Wig Discs)
- Wanna Dance on Your Face [7" EP] (1996) (Mazeltov Records)
- Sexin' a Chevy (released 1998) (Automobile Love Association) feat. (The Davidz)
- American Teenage Phallus Machine (1998) (Neverland Ranch Records)
- Get Skintight For Papa! (1999) (Neverland Ranch Records)
- My Wife Turns Twelve (2001) (Neverland Ranch Records)
- Come On! Come On! (Don't Tell Your Parents) (2002) (Neverland Ranch Records)
- Spend the Night with Kim Soo (2002) (Neverland Ranch Records)
- Golden Showers in Vietnam (2004) (Ronald McDonald Cambodian Childrens Foundation Records)
- At fifteen years old you're getting abit past it* (2005) (Neverland Ranch Records)
- I didn't know she was only three your honour, please be lenient (tight bum records)
[edit] Singles
- Playground Bangaround (1972) (Hairless Twat Records)
- I'm the Leader of the Gang Rape (I Am) (1973)
- Breaking In Minors (Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah!) (1974) (Sri Lanka child molestation foundation Records)
- Who Told You To Stop Sucking? (Treat Percy Like Your Dummy) (1979) (Pete Townsend Balls-Deep Records)
- My Dick Between The Nursery Bars! (1981 (The violent sodomy with kids alliance)
- I've Got Love For You If You Were Born In The 80s... The 80s (1991) (Bad Wig Discs)
- Rock and Roll pt.3 - The Leader Of The Child Porn Ring (2005) (The Legalise Child Porn Party)
[edit] Trivia
- Gary Glitter had a special camoflauge suit made by the military in China for an undisclosed price. Once wearing this outfit, Gary becomes instantly disguised as a sweet shop.
- When Gary was sentenced for crimes in 2004, he was sent to carry out community service as a lollipop man.
- Has now been inducted to the Cockney Rhyming Slang Book of Perverts, Miscreants and Donald Rumsfeld, rhyming quite ironically with "Up the shitter"
- Gary Glitter is thought to be of demonic origin and is associated with a smutty Arch Duke of Hell - Belial.
- Gary Glitter's hobbies include sports, arts and crafts, and Vietnamese children.
- He claims that he does not have a sexual interest in young girls and that he just likes paying them to tuck him in at bedtime.
- Rhymes with "up the shitter" pertaining to gay bum sex with a male man blokey.
