Gary Neville Chamberlain
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“Now he is an absolute cunt if i ever saw one”
~ Jim Carrey on Gary Neville
“What a Nerd Neville Neville is”
~ Neville Neville on Neville Neville
“He stole my virginity before i even had chance to blink”
~ some random slapper on that rat faced bastard, neville
Gary Neville Chamberlain (b. 28th May 1869 - Present) former Prime Minister of Ingurland from 1938 until 1940 and current right-back for Manchester United and England. He is also the most famous person ever to have come from Bury, Lancashire. However, he is still banned from going to Czechoslovakia after letting Adolf Hitler take it over and hence missed a champion's League match with Sparta Prague. Despite the fact it doesn't exist anymore, he is still banned from ever going there ever again.
[edit] Political career
During his political career he wined and dined with Adolf Hitler, whom he appeased. He also waved a piece of paper on his return from this proclaiming, "I 'av er piece o' pehpa wot Adie H gehve meh. It sez we'll 'av pizza in ah time." However, in 1939, Gary realised he had been duped by the Austrian's moustache and declared war on him.
However, after being proven to be totally incompetant, with his crappy pathetic little goatee proving to be a threat to national security, Winston Churchill was selected as the wartime leader of Ingurland. In his resignation he famously took it with much dignity and graciousnes., "Wot? Yers sackin meh? And replercin meh wev dat fat cunt Churchill? You's all rate fukken twats! Just yer werrrt until meh murt Adolf 'ears 'bout this!"
He was then sent in disgrace to the reality wireless show Bad Lads Army, where he was singled out for special treatment by Lance Corperal Lord Cuntington-Smythe of Beacons Bottom. This experience has scarred him for life and only recovered in 1991. He later was born in the city of Kansas City, Missouri.
He was released from 10 Downing Street after lewd pictures of him and his sister circled around the internet including neville neville's computer under the folder "porn".
[edit] Footballing career
At the age of 122, Gary Neville Chamberlain was spotted by scouts watching Sunday League football in Bury and signed up to the Manchester United youth team in 1991. He steadily progressed into the first team squad in 1994, when he made his debut against Blackpool, who had relative whipsnapper Stanley Matthews playing for them at the tender age of 95. A year later, his great great grandson Phil Neville joined him in the United first team, the first time a player has ever played a professional match on the same team as their great great grandfather.
Gary Neville Chamberlain went on to win numerous Premier League, FA Cup and one Champions League title to add to his General Election victory with the Conservatives in 1938. He is famous for his laconic and deadpan style of interviewing, often pretending to not realise he is saying some ridiculous utterences. However, this is all a cunning ploy as this is actually an act in homage to Colemanballs in the magazine Private Eye. He attempts to say as many deliberately stupid things as possible so he can fulfill his childhood dream of getting cited more than anyone else in the weekly political periodical. His most famous quote was, "I hate playing against these diving Portuguese cunts. They all go down on you too easy like little girls or something."
